A sweet little girl is out in the back garden, digging a big deep hole.
A neighbour looks over the fence and says:
“Why are you digging that big deep hole?”
“My goldfish died,” the sweet little girl says, with a sob.
“I'm really sorry to hear that,” the neighbour says,
“but why such a big deep hole for a goldfish?”
The little girl gives him an evil look. “Because it's inside your f*****g cat.”
Topic: Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest - page 2. (Read 4556 times)
Bitcoin and Dogecoin walk into NASA for their interview to see if they can become an astronaut. Things are going really well, until asked where in space they'd most like to go. "To the moon!" they both replied, and were both declined immediately. On their way out, they see MarsCoin prancing inside the building happily in his space suit.
(To explain... Bitcoin and Dogecoin have been exclaiming "to the moon!" forever. NASA is currently doing space missions to Mars instead)
(To explain... Bitcoin and Dogecoin have been exclaiming "to the moon!" forever. NASA is currently doing space missions to Mars instead)
So bitcoin, litecoin, and dogecoin walk into a busy bar.
Bitcoin says, “Drinks on me!” and gets in line at the bar.
Litecoin says, “I’ll get the next round” and sits down.
Doge says nothing and comes back with the first round of drinks right away.
Bitcoin and Litecoin ask, “How did you get the drinks so fast?”
Dogecoin says, “Because I tip better than you two.”
Bitcoin says, “Drinks on me!” and gets in line at the bar.
Litecoin says, “I’ll get the next round” and sits down.
Doge says nothing and comes back with the first round of drinks right away.
Bitcoin and Litecoin ask, “How did you get the drinks so fast?”
Dogecoin says, “Because I tip better than you two.”
Coindetective sent me a bitcoin trader promo code and it worked! It gave me a 1 $20 trading share. Thank you again coindetective! Congratulations to the other winners. Good luck to all of you as well!
I met fine girl in a park. Spark jumped between us two and we had sex right there. I love my new paralyser!!
Ok, here are the winners of the first week Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest:
coinmaster222
semidead
grahvity
BashfulTA
CaptainTE
Great work guys, lots of nice jokes. Winners will be contacted via PM and I will send them their free shares. The next round of Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest starts NOW. I will select next 5 winners next Sunday and they each of them will also get a free BT trading share per account. So, keep posting jokes guys, I have 45 more shares to hand out. Please help me to give you free money.
coinmaster222
semidead
grahvity
BashfulTA
CaptainTE
Great work guys, lots of nice jokes. Winners will be contacted via PM and I will send them their free shares. The next round of Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest starts NOW. I will select next 5 winners next Sunday and they each of them will also get a free BT trading share per account. So, keep posting jokes guys, I have 45 more shares to hand out. Please help me to give you free money.
Hmm, based on your choices, I have the feeling a lot of these jokes went over your head and you either didn't realize they were jokes (with hidden meanings) or didn't understand them. Do we need to spell things out in them when we post them?
i.e.:
{"freddy":"vs"}
Meaning: the format of this code is JSON. So the literal translation is "freddy vs JSON," which is referencing Freddy vs Jason, the movie.
That was one of the multiple that are harder for most people to catch on to. But we weren't given a topic to write about, either. There needs to be refinement of what you're actually looking for.
Ok, here are the winners of the first week Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest:
coinmaster222
semidead
grahvity
BashfulTA
CaptainTE
Great work guys, lots of nice jokes. Winners will be contacted via PM and I will send them their free shares. The next round of Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest starts NOW. I will select next 5 winners next Sunday and they each of them will also get a free BT trading share per account. So, keep posting jokes guys, I have 45 more shares to hand out. Please help me to give you free money.
coinmaster222
semidead
grahvity
BashfulTA
CaptainTE
Great work guys, lots of nice jokes. Winners will be contacted via PM and I will send them their free shares. The next round of Bitcoin Trader - The Best Joke of the Week Contest starts NOW. I will select next 5 winners next Sunday and they each of them will also get a free BT trading share per account. So, keep posting jokes guys, I have 45 more shares to hand out. Please help me to give you free money.
So a priest, a pedophile and a rapist enter a bar. He orders a drink.
***************
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One looks to the other and says "boy it's hot in here!" to which the other replies "holy crap, it's a talking muffin!"
***************
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One looks to the other and says "boy it's hot in here!" to which the other replies "holy crap, it's a talking muffin!"
A man walks into a bar, and the bar tender says:
"What you'll have?"
"Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"
"No, sorry, just plain."
A man was speeding a little too fast when he drove by a cop. The cop flipped his lights on and took off to pull him over. The guy isn't in the mood for a ticket, so he speeds up more to try to escape. Then he realizes this isn't a good idea, and he pulls over.
Cop: "You'd better have a good reason for not pulling over right away."
Man: "My wife ran off with a cop, and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back!"
A man walks into a bar.
The second man ducks.
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Want to know how to catch a bear?
Find a big wide open area. Dig a hole in the middle of it. Dump ashes in a pile in the middle of the hole, and put an orange on top of the pile of ashes. (Bears love oranges!) Then hide behind a tree and wait.
When a bear comes along and leans over the hole to get the orange, sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.
M
"What you'll have?"
"Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"
"No, sorry, just plain."
A man was speeding a little too fast when he drove by a cop. The cop flipped his lights on and took off to pull him over. The guy isn't in the mood for a ticket, so he speeds up more to try to escape. Then he realizes this isn't a good idea, and he pulls over.
Cop: "You'd better have a good reason for not pulling over right away."
Man: "My wife ran off with a cop, and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back!"
A man walks into a bar.
The second man ducks.
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Want to know how to catch a bear?
Find a big wide open area. Dig a hole in the middle of it. Dump ashes in a pile in the middle of the hole, and put an orange on top of the pile of ashes. (Bears love oranges!) Then hide behind a tree and wait.
When a bear comes along and leans over the hole to get the orange, sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.
M
How do you know when a girl is too young ?
And this is why we can't have nice things in this forum.
Right!
I will select the first five winners tomorrow. There is still chance to win a free share, post your jokes today.
Thks for defining what's funny and what's not.
How do you know when a girl is too young ?
And this is why we can't have nice things in this forum.
How do you know when a girl is too young ?
It's when you have to make the sound of a plane to put your d in her mouth.
It's when you have to make the sound of a plane to put your d in her mouth.
-A plane flown by a woman is technically a drone...because it is unmanned. Har har 
-Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make...then they don't call me at all.
-If Al Gore ever came out with a music album it would be called...Algorithms
-After the Nigerian football team was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain offered to refund the travel expenses to Brazil of all fans of his country...All he needs is those fans' bank details and pin numbers to refund them.
-Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
-What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before he got married? Feyonce.
-How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Lean in close, take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
-Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
-I was thinking about moving to Moscow today but there is no point in Russian into things.
I'll show myself out...
-Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make...then they don't call me at all.
-If Al Gore ever came out with a music album it would be called...Algorithms
-After the Nigerian football team was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain offered to refund the travel expenses to Brazil of all fans of his country...All he needs is those fans' bank details and pin numbers to refund them.
-Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
-What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before he got married? Feyonce.
-How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Lean in close, take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
-Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
-I was thinking about moving to Moscow today but there is no point in Russian into things.
I'll show myself out...
Lots of good ones, great effort. This Sunday we ll select our first 5 winners. There is still time to win this week, keep these jokes coming.
-A plane flown by a woman is technically a drone...because it is unmanned. Har har
-Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make...then they don't call me at all.
-If Al Gore ever came out with a music album it would be called...Algorithms
-After the Nigerian football team was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain offered to refund the travel expenses to Brazil of all fans of his country...All he needs is those fans' bank details and pin numbers to refund them.
-Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
-What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before he got married? Feyonce.
-How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Lean in close, take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
-Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
-I was thinking about moving to Moscow today but there is no point in Russian into things.
I'll show myself out...
-Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make...then they don't call me at all.
-If Al Gore ever came out with a music album it would be called...Algorithms
-After the Nigerian football team was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain offered to refund the travel expenses to Brazil of all fans of his country...All he needs is those fans' bank details and pin numbers to refund them.
-Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
-What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before he got married? Feyonce.
-How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Lean in close, take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?
-Why does a chicken coupe have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
-I was thinking about moving to Moscow today but there is no point in Russian into things.
I'll show myself out...
Why was the former pool owner charged with being a sex offender?
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
...and we have a first crypto joke. Good job.
Why was the former pool owner charged with being a sex offender?
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
Heheh. A good one.
Why was the former pool owner charged with being a sex offender?
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
Because when he closed down, he screwed all those miners.
{"freddy":"vs"}
I love it,
. Programming humor is always awesome. Jump to: