We are presenting our side of the story and hoping that the community can help resolve this issue.
In reading through the thread, this comment struck me as unfair:
The transaction has a very miners low fee of only 0.000001 BTC, which means that it will generally take a long time for the transaction to get confirmed.
This isn't true. Fees are only required if the priority of the transaction is too low. You can figure around 1 "BTC day" of input weight as the threshold.
unibtc.4real's deposit has 3 inputs worth around 18 BTC in total, each about 4 hours old. That gives a weight of around 3 BTC days which should be plenty to qualify as a fee-free transaction.
While it seems strange that unibtc.4real is using the exact same fee as the attacker, it strikes me that they both may have just used something like the "frugal fee" box on blockchain.info's wallet webapp. It has been a long time since I used it, but from what I remember it has predefined fee settings. If the fee both these guys used corresponds to a preset in a popular wallet app then this looks much less suspicious.
The main thing that raised my suspicions wasn't any of the points you made, but this:
I can only see three things that will end this, one, you unlock my balance let me play normally like any other players, two, give back my deposit of 10btc since i never lost that at all and we can part ways.. or three, i will have to live to the fact that 10 btc was stolen from me, and you will have to live to the fact that you have stolen 10btc from someone you wrongfully accused. and ofcourse negative feedback..
If I was falsely accused of cheating, there's no way I would propose settling for just my deposit back. "I risked my coins and won, dammit! Pay up!" would be my attitude.
I don't envy you the position you find yourselves in now. You don't want to let the scammer get away with it, but you also don't want to punish an innocent player. I guess the solution here is to either stop accepting zero-conf deposits or at least restrict the range of deposits you credit instantly. Maybe insist on a certain fee, only offer instant deposits up to a certain size, limit it to accounts with a certain betting volume, etc.