Topic: Can you disguise on your real gambling lifestyle just to help a friend/relative? - page 2. (Read 615 times)

Every gambler must have experienced a time when they can't control themselves, maybe because they are a new gambler or because they are single person so that their income will belong to them completely unlike gamblers who already have a family to support, or maybe as a gambler, they have a large income and don't think about investing so that even if they play more than they can afford by going into debt later they will still be able to pay their debts because they have a large income.
So far I've never told anyone about my gambling activities, does that help my friend? I don't know, I just feel sorry for some people who think of gambling as a way to earn money and when they win they think they will continue to be able to earn the same thing.

It is okay to give advice to friends but it is not okay to disguise the idea of gambling to help someone. We all know that gambling is high risk and there is no exact guarantee of winning how can gambling help your relative. Rather the gambler will incur more losses that may lead him to worse. You have to come out of this negative side and keep yourself under control and help your friends and relatives in other ways other than gambling so that you don't have to suffer. Maintain discipline and give them proper advice.

We'll it's a necessity that you should be truthful in your dealings cause you may not know who's watching you from a distance,yes advising a friend not to gamble whereas you are and at same time hiding it is not a good idea but rather it's better of they are being told of that negative thing your into so as to know how to go about it,but you advising and still on it will give them doubt and no room of regarding you as anything cause they might be like your doing it too so why the advice,so literally you don't have to disguise yourself tell them how it is.

I feels about that because sometimes what we tells to them is difficult to be accepted by them. After all, they don't have the same minds as us. We can still tells them or suggesting or guiding them but if they don't wants to listens, we can't forces them to follows. They are adult and could thinks about what they wants so we should lets them decide by themselves. Maybe they will needs to see the consequences and gets the effects so they can see the reality about what they are doing and can thinks that they needs to listen to other people. Sometimes they needs to gets the bad experience first before they wants to listen to the suggestion so they can learns something from what they do. If they can thinks about the mistakes, they will learns that they needs to change themselves and try to listen the others.

I have friends too who gamble and they try as much as listening to me when I advise them. I do not disguise myself just to please anybody. I am real and they know me for the that. Whenever I advise them they listen and hid to my advice because of how disciplined I am.  Some times you just do not do things to convince your friends but rather you just have to be who you are and not to please them always so that they would really rely on you for advice or backup whenever such arises.
Do not be two faced because that alone would make you lose value were they are. They might not trust your judgement d would be sceptical of whatever that comes out of your mouth. If this happens them your integrity is at stake.

I learned from my past experiences (as a gambler without control, spending all my salary in gambling) I was so hooked to the point I forgot my responsibilities. That experience is an eye opener for me to not repeat the same mistakes again. It became my example to people I know (that are also into gambling) to always have discipline.

Because it's hard to overcome the addiction if you are already there. If keeping my real status as a gambler can help someone then why not? But in my case there's nothing to hide since i'm already done as a gambler without control.

you give good advice and comfort them by giving examples from your own experience but you yourself can't apply the things you tell them to yourself, you just pretend that you are in a good state when you face them but deep inside you are facing problems and you are not always okay. I've never experienced what you did but the only advice I can give to you OP, maybe it's better not to give advice to other people even if you improve your self image in their eyes, it's better to choose and help yourself first before other people.

I know for sure that inside me there lives a terrible gambler who can place bets and lose absolutely everything that I can bet, there will be no limit on this. But the thing is that I never show this hidden part of my madness to my friends or anyone else, because they simply won’t recognize me if I start doing such things. Of course, if my true friend needs help, then I will be ready to do a lot to help him with this, even show my crazy part. It depends on the complexity of my friend’s situation, if it’s not difficult, then maybe I won’t be able to show it, in general, I’ll have to understand each specific situation as a whole.

I don't understand the essence of what you are asking in this thread, but for the words you explain above, I have a principle that I adhere to. Well, let's just say that every gambling we do is based on self-control and responsibility. then we hope or want, some of our friends imitate what we do as an "EXAMPLE". Well, this example point is actually irrelevant to what we are discussing. I mean, subconsciously we have claimed that we are good and responsible gamblers. even though in reality, this is a one-sided claim according to psychology. To be an "EXAMPLE", it's actually not something that's easy. Even if you really claim to be responsible for the gambling budget and the rules you apply, it may not necessarily be viewed favorably by other gamblers.

OK, allow me to assume from my personal point of view. If I were you, and I had a discussion with my friend regarding how to gamble well. I mean, more precisely so that they don't gamble excessively. At that point, my job as a friend is finished to tell or share experiences. the rest is up to them and how they approach their gambling. because in essence it is awareness that inspires someone to make changes, and this applies not only to gambling. I don't need to be a good example to imitate, because this claim is too heavy for me. just by discussing, giving appropriate advice, that is more than enough. the rest, it all depends on them with their gambling.

Talking about the negative side, basically or unconsciously we have this talent from birth. So, there is no one who does not have a negative side. "in the broadest sense".
Regarding hiding the gambling life that we do, everything is the right of every gambler. well, for me it's something like that.

While I understand your desire to set a positive example for your gambling friends and help them regain control of their emotions, it is important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Gambling can be a complex and personal matter, and each individual may have different experiences and challenges associated with it.

It is commendable that you strive to stick to your gambling budgets and maintain a level of control over your bankroll. However, it is crucial to recognize that not everyone may possess the same level of self-discipline or emotional control when it comes to gambling. While you can offer support and guidance to your friends, it is important to remember that each person's journey towards responsible gambling is unique.

As for your question about negative sides to gambling habits, it is essential to acknowledge that gambling can have adverse effects on individuals if not approached responsibly. Some individuals may struggle with addiction, financial difficulties, or emotional distress due to excessive gambling. It is crucial to encourage responsible gambling practices and promote awareness of the potential risks associated with gambling.

When it comes to helping an astray gambling friend or relative, it is important to strike a balance between offering support and respecting their privacy. It is not necessary to hide your own experiences or disreputable gambling habits if they exist, but it is equally important to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Encouraging open and honest conversations about gambling habits can foster a supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable seeking help if needed.

Remember, the goal should be to promote responsible gambling practices, offer support, and encourage individuals to seek professional help if their gambling habits become problematic.

Yes, it's not our business to stop someone from gambling but we as loved ones can try our best to guide them about gambling responsibility. We should also guide them that gambling isn't for making money but a way to entertain ourselves, and we should never consider it as a way to earn so much money as that's not possible for everyone.

If still they don't listen our words and ignore us by saying that we are not aware of it, or it allows them to earn money then we should stop saying anything else to such people. It's not worth it to spend your energy and stamina to guide whose who don't listen, and I believe we should try our best to distance ourselves from such people.

I'm not even your family member, friend, or close person, etc... but I'm also proud of you. This is because it's not easy to do for a normal individual and we can only wish we are on the same boat as you, so that we will never experience the negative side of gambling, ever again but even on that simply words you said there, we can still learn from it or use that as a motivation to improve our selves as well.

For those who think they have a problem in gambling, it is still commendable if they can act that they don't have it, only to encourage others to stop gambling or help them to get out of the same problem and maybe this can help them to apply it on their own too, later on.

Exactly, it's none of our business no matter even if the person is your blood relative, of course we have the responsibility to guide them but in gambling, I don't think so, I may give a few tries if the person is really close to me and if they don't care then why should I care?

They are adults just like me so they should know what they are supposed to do and not, and if they violate it then they have to face the consequences too.

I have this attitude back in the time that i chase my losses , i remember that my one whole week paycheck had to spend all the way because i choose to chase my losses instead of giving up?

for me this is the attitude that don't wanna be to others because now i know that we need to let it go when luck isn't our friend that time because there is always next time to deal with our losses.

recovering our spending can take several time before finally won .

I agree with you, people generally don't like to listen to other people's advice, everyone has their own way of thinking. It can be said that we are all like that and only when something bad happens to us do we learn from it. For sure we all have "bad sides" and "bad things" that happen to us from time to time, and we alone learn how to deal with them... with more experience, we know how to avoid them or in some cases how to hide them from others. Self-control is something we get along the way.

I am generally not good at disguising, I will say what's on my mind, if not I will turn around and walk away. It's not smart to talk with everyone, no matter how we say it, some people will misunderstand us. So sometimes it's better to keep quiet and mind our own business.

At least what you say to your friend can change the way your friend plays gambling a little. Whether it happens to you or not, sometimes we can give advice but we can't consistently implement it for ourselves.
That's natural, but as much as possible when you say or suggest something to your friend, it should also or better apply to advising yourself as well.
If you have good intentions, the results you get will definitely be good.

But the thing is, you are not showing your true self. I mean, yes, OP maybe is not affected by his gambling, even though sometimes he is going overboard with his budget or limit in terms of funds in gambling. But the thing is, you are still negating your limit, which is not a good indication because at some point you will feel the effect of excessive gambling, and sometimes you are overextending your budget, which means it can accumulate and you will feel its effect eventually. I get the intention of OP to make his friend follow his disguised attitude towards gambling, but the question for yourself is, do you think you are worthy of that? advising them and educating them not to do excessive gambling while you are breaking your limit? I get that not all are perfect, but the fact that you know yourself and that you sometimes break your limit means you are also subject to becoming what you are teaching them not to do.

If i am actually required to put on such a pretence attitude in such a way that I can help a friend get free of their hurtful behavior in gambling, I can do it. I am good in acting and I will practically act righteous in his presence so he can learn from my example but when he is not around, I will go back to my normal gambling style.

I don't have any negative gambling habit, people that have such habits lacks self control.

Just like sometimes you don't feel proud to say you had a huge loss, you can reduce the loss when you are asked. Or sometimes you also want to increase your profit when actually it was not up to that.

Advise is people should not always follow what they read or see because that may not represent the reality. Do what you feel will be right for your self.


I'm not even surprised at your story and fear with your friends, you are not the only one in that shoe much as many other people are doing that. It is not easy to keep the emotions away from gambling which is why you see the loses. Many would advise the proper thing to do but they can't keep up to it. It is difficult to control your emotion when you are losing

Addiction is enough to be considered as negative side of gambling which is Common to every gambler. Though some people don't see  addiction as problem but surely it is. The only only advice I can give to a friend is not to gamble what he can't afford to lose or stop chasing after loses because all this put together is the actual cause of addiction.

There is no point hiding your disreputable gambling life. It is good to explain your predicament for people to learn from your previous mistakes and make a correction. Even though I know most people may still not change after you may have explained to them. Because such habit is a self determination to conquer. But you should play your part atleast to save yourself from guit.