Topic: Have you been threaten to stop gambling - page 19. (Read 2437 times)

If we are talking about some friends or even just relatives then it should be fine but if we do speak someone we do love like our wives then it would really be no brainer that we would really be choosing her
than gambling unless if your addiction is really into that certain extent on which it is really that severe on which you do really exchange it for the sake of gambling. I agree on what most people been saying here that when you are engaging into something then you should really be letting knowing your wife whether he would really be having that approval or not but if she would opposes then its better
to respect it because they know the better good specially when it comes to money.

I agree on some sayings that being transparent is always best but even sometime i do make myself do hid up something from my wife specially on things i do know that she
would definitely disagree with it.

Threats like this will not have any impact because indeed even when we are threatened but with a liking for gambling it will indeed be a little difficult.
But talking about the one who threatens is the closest person, so this is also a difficult choice and now it's up to your friend to decide and I think this can be more effective, of course, it's just that it still needs a number of conditions to really free him completely .

The problem of that person is that he has not been opened about his gambling habits since the beginning. What can of relationship can go on in the long term if one or both of the parts are hiding such relevant information, like money and finances.

In my case, I have never had to go through anything like that because I am a social and casual person when comes to gambling and i know that my family would intervene on me if they found out I am getting into financial struggles because I am gambling away the money I get.

One needs to find the equilibrium between being a responsible adult and keeping a money consuming hobby as gambling can be, and also other kinds of hobbies...

But there are mens who do engage on things without tending to tell into their wives because they do believe that it isnt something that should really be worried about but just like on what others been saying that
in speaking about money and if things turns out to be known or the secret has been blown out then how you would really be able to explain it? Just like on what others been saying that you should really be
that transparent if you do like a healthy relationship on where there's no secrets and other stuffs around.

You would really be putting up your relationship on a big or huge problem if ever one has been caught out on doing something which is really make the one getting behind or really that getting blind.
Agree that when it comes to money which is one of the most important factor on where it would be needing to be explained out then once there would be problems molded because of it then
this would might result into such bad discussions and possible outcomes.If you dont like for it to happen then better not to do this.

^Definitely right and I agree with you about this, because for me, this transparency is the key to maintaining trust and fostering a healthy relationship. By sharing your wins with your partner, you are acknowledging the importance of involving them in your financial decisions.
Remember, being open about both your wins and losses is equally important and if you experience reckless behavior in gambling, it becomes even more helpful to seek guidance from your partner. They can provide support, help you make responsible decisions, and prevent potential financial harm. So there is no reason to be threatened to stop gambling if you can explain to them that you can control your emotion towards gambling and instead, support your happiness.

Well, regardless of anything, this condition is actually a difficult choice for your friend, but in my opinion, things like this can trigger a desire to change.
Gamblers are indeed very difficult to change, but in this case when his wife also takes part in it and doesn't just order him to gamble, it will be even better because it can be used as moral support for your friends.
However, when someone doesn't want to lose something then they have to be prepared to lose something else, gambling can't be completely eliminated but in this case I think with threats like this even though it might not have an effect on some people but if your friend really loves his wife then it will greatly affect the change at least gambling with big money will be a little more reduced.

I mean depending on the situation it can be completely warranted.  There are some people who do.t like gambling at all but if it's controlled its fine.  But if you are blowing your life savings and ruining your family's life then yeah I would hope someone would step in and give you an ultimatum.  I never have been but again only gamble what you can afford to lose and you should be all good.

I feel bad for the poor woman. She must be going through a lot to use the divorce card on her husband. He prolly didn't realize the mental and physical damage his is causing his family. Thank goodness he chose his family over gambling because he would be rejected by his bros if he had done otherwise.

I have never been threatened. If you gamble responsibly and follow your budget no one is going to have you choose between them and gambling. And for the story, the wife has to insist that her husband goes for therapy or something.

When it comes to your partner you should be as honest as possible, especially when it comes to money matters, and gambling addiction is a serious issue because it a ground for separation, so if you're going to gamble and you have a partner already be as honest as possible, I don't have problem with my partner because I never kept secret how and when I gamble especially when winning which is the most important.
If you win don't keep it to yourself she should have a part of it since you are a partner, win or lose you should tell her so he can guide you if you're going reckless in gambling.

Everything should really be that transparent and on the time that you would really be entering that marriage life then you should really be that honest and wouldnt really be hiding something from your wife
because there are things which cant really be kept secret forever and once you've been busted up then for sure you would really be having that huge problem afterwards. The only thing that you shouldnt
really hide from your wife is about on how much money you do make and how much you've been spending. We know that they are really that something sensitive when it comes to money specially on spending.
They should know about those in's and outs and same as yours on which my wife does know on how much i do earn and she's the one would really be making up the division in speaking about
daily expenses and other things in life which it is really that needed for you to deal with. Each husband or men would really be totally different on what are the things that running into their heads.
Some are honest and some are really that secretive.

By the way, why would my wife or girlfriend have access to my gambling logins? Or is it her money I am gambling off, or it's still the money I stress my ass to make?

Most times, I know that the reverse is the case in marriage or relationships where the woman has to work and bring money to the table while the man is just stressing less, and if in that case, the man is only gambling off the woman's money, yes, she has the reasons to rant and get angry or even take any legal action. But if it's a case where the man is the one stressing to get the money, the woman doesn't have to threaten him to stop gambling because that's obviously not going to work on some guys. The best approach to doing so is to calmly advise the guy about it, and if he refuses to change and she is not okay with the gambling habit he has, then she can also take legal action and have the right to leave the guy. But, well, people handle their problems in a way that suits them. I know my girlfriend tried to get mad at me for my gambling habit, but common, she can't threaten me because it's my money I'm gambling with. Although she's just looking out for me to avoid losses, but in gambling you can't avoid losses for fun. Also, I just try to respect her decision because she calmly makes me see reasons why not to gamble, but I don't gamble more often, and I don't even gamble a huge amount. The only situation I feel a bit threatened is when my two gambling mates come visiting and she will be angry because the feel they only convince me to gamble.  

Nope, because my knows I'm not a regular gambler and she knows how much I earned from my day job, so if there's a discrepancy with the calculations of my monthly earnings, she will automatically activates her inner investigator attitude.
However, this kind of situation is pretty common for those men who have excessive and uncontrolled gambling habits. In fact, one of my old friend have been into hiding now due to excessive gambling that he have multiple debts from several people he knew. I'm not just sure what would be the status of their living with his wife now.

Despite losing a lot of money overall, despite spending more time gambling, despite hiding those big money wins in the past - my question is;

- is your friend remain responsible to his family despite being a gambler?

I'm sure it's not just about being a gambler but maybe your friend did some other sh*t that led to his wife considering a legal separation. And how is his wife able to track his lost money if she only checks the withdrawal? Usually, it should be on betting record history and I doubt his wife will have the patience to check and track every single bet one by one. Just my guess.


With that statement, I think the issue is not that serious lol.

From the story you tell in this thread, I can really feel it. at least, I have many stories related to the same thing as you tell. but it didn't happen to stories in my gambling life, but to some of my friends. not just threats, but at farewell because my friend is too addicted to his gambling. which ends, in the breakdown of a husband and wife relationship. I'm sure, there are lots of related stories out there about like the ones we're discussing in this thread. there are also, who have spent all their possessions including selling properties just to fulfill their gambling desires. however, his wife remained patient because she believed that one day her husband would stop. I saw it, the stories and experiences that happened in my circle of friends.

I personally, had bad times in gambling. however, not in crypto casinos. precisely, land-based casinos. fortunately, at that time I did not have a wife, so no one threatened me. now I am more responsible with what I do, especially in this one hobby. having this one hobby, obviously will have a lot of challenges and risks. whether it's from the family side, also from the risk of addiction. however, if we can manage it. everything will be fine. because, we know which one must be fulfilled first and prioritized. after that, we can have fun with this one hobby. but on condition that neither party is harmed. whether it's wife, family, or friendship.

If it came to that point already, then it must mean your friend's in a pickle, maybe even addicted to gambling and it's getting on the wife's nerves already. With that being said, and I don't mean to be a life coach or a relationship counselor here but the friend shouldn't really focus on wooing the wife to let him play again but should focus on actually wooing her to get her trust and love back, that's going to save their relationship and would definitely help in the future when similar problems come about.

The friend must also look into interventions in order to have him rid of the lingering want to gamble. It's gonna cost him more than his marriage in the future if he keeps at it without getting the help he needs. Gambling addiction is one of the most devastating form of addiction by the way, second only to drug abuse. So with that fact in mind he should take this issue seriously and assess himself. No regular person in their right minds would want to woo their wives to convince them to allow them to gamble again. To me that's a surefire sign that something awry is already cooking.

No, not yet  maybe when I'm in the same shoes your friend is in, my wife knows I'm gambling but I'm gambling moderately with money allocated for gambling and if I won I just tell her to avoid any issues wives are like that they do not want any secret especially when it comes to money matters.

It's ok to gamble as long as you tell your wife how much money and how long are you spending per session, honesty is still the best policy especially when it comes to money matters.

Sometimes my husband gambles and not often although I do watch over his games and he made everything open to me even though he wins he would tell me, whenever he made lose he would also tell me. I can't threatened my husband to stop gambling why because I know any money won from it is an additional source of income to our house and there's no way for me to threaten him or even divorce him because I wasn't told for any reason.

Your friend made the correct decision by putting his wife before gambling. Marriage should be prioritized over all other considerations, particularly if gambling damages their finances. Given that his continued irresponsible gambling could harm their future, the wife is within her rights to feel that way about her husband.
I haven't had any experiences like this yet. My spouse is aware of my activities and is not alarmed by the fact that I occasionally gamble. I believe the potentially severe issue won't surface unless there are excessive or irresponsible gambling behaviors. For us not to experience relationship issues because of gambling, we should always be mindful of our actions and make sure that gambling isn't affecting our finances because of our wrong decisions.

If I do the same thing your friend did in front of my parents, they'll probably threaten me to quit, but I wouldn't be that careless. Your friend is lucky that he can convince his wife after his gambling mistake because not all loved ones are that easy to convince.

I guess it depends on the person it wouldn't hurt to rely on someone else as they can also be the one to give you that awareness and help you break your gambling habit.

if there is one thing that I always have with me as a code and rule in matters involving money and marriage then one should not have secrets, it is extremely important for there to be trust between the couple, when the couple has a budget x value then it is It's fair that both of you know everything about expenses and if the husband has a small budget earmarked for gambling and the wife also a small budget earmarked for her own needs then in this scenario there will be no problems in the marriage, the problem starts to arise when the family's budget house is small and they are having to cut some expenses and the husband is playing in the casinos

and women are well aware that gambling is not profitable, in fact the majority of society does not have much love for gambling, which leads to serious problems in marriage, which is why married people have little time and space for gambling. gambling, marriage is a big responsibility, in my case I don't need to lie to anyone about everything I do in life, luckily I also hate lying about money and I don't do that, I don't lie about gambling but I don't recommend it and I don't even encourage people from the real world around me to play a lot and mainly I warn them that they shouldn't look at gambling as something lucrative because it's not true, they would just lose money