Take a break from bitcoin, go take a walk outside, chat with friends and family.
You should stop thinking about this!
Money isn't everything anyway. (Just stuff invented by us. numbers.)
Why the heck do you think your life < 1.1BTC?
Do something. Get busy.
Just do what you love to do.
i spend all my time trying to make money online and then i go gamble it all away i hate myself
that is a big mistake, you shouldn't gamble all your hard earned money. do you think you can surely on gambling sites that is why you used all your money playing? i think you are one of those who believes in a "betting script" which will make you win right? IIRC i know who you are in phil crypto fb group