Topic: -- Miner's Official Coin LAUNCH - NUGGETS (NUGS) -- - page 45. (Read 121560 times)

Now I'm too angry to go to bed.

But I'm checking out cause this is plain stupid.  dumb and dumber have joined the board and have ganged up on me.


good night, stupids.  maybe you'll have a revelation in your dreams and wake up less stupid or maybe men, either way you'll be able to think more logically about important issues like, what should I feed my dog today.

You find the concept of property ownership in America where you buy and pay for something, a real asset, and then you even upkeep it means it's yours, as a mistake or flaw in the rule of the existing law?  Kinda like your house.  Your plumber can't take your cause he worked on it and never even bothered to discuss a fee beforehand.  That would be stupid right, even a stupid like you has to see the stupidity in that.  

You can clone this coin, but Nuggets is mine because it is real property I have paid for and I have paid to upkeep both with promotion (if you wanna call it that) and paid for bounties from my pocket.  if that's what you meant by open source you should try working on your communication skills cause you made it sound like open source meant you do all the work, promote it, spend all your money making it better, then I'll come in do a few days work and make it mine.  Of course that would have been woman-logic stupid for you to have meant.

Are you sure you're not a woman too cause so far you logic escapes all levels of normal human understanding or functioning.  Without kidding, talking to a woman about any issue which means anything is like talking to a dog, only a dog will pay attention longer, won't get offended by every word you say and will understand some part of what you've said.  That is the only difference.  It's the damn truth and I hate the fact but it is the way it.  Equality my ass, the only think equal about men and women is women can wipe their own asses.....most of the time.  That's where the equality ends....there is not one thing that any woman can do better than any one man, especially when it comes to logic or thinking, just walk by any advanced calculus or advanced computer science class and you'll see a 20 to 1 ratio and the only thing you need for those classes is simple critical thinking and women absolutely lack it on every level.  It's like rain...it's wet, so why try to make it equal to sunlight?  That would be really stupid right, this equality bullshit is equally batshit crazy and I'm no longer playing by these lame liberal man made rules.  The bitch listens to anything I say or the bitch gets the boot and a better newer model takes her place.  Man, I wish I would have seen this kind of clarity 5 years ago.  

aahhahahahaha.  then that explains your lack of logic perfectly.  man, if I had known I wouldn't have wasted my time pointing out how stupid you are.  And unless you're a strong 9 you would have been a girl I would never have even looked at.  Yes that's vain and stupid and shallow but that was the truth back then and if you can get only 9 and 10's why would you settle for less?  If you could get a job doing the same thing and putting up with the same dumb bitch attitude why would you work for $9 per hour if you could get $50?  It's not rocket science, everyone gets the best they can but guys like me were called shallow and mean and self centered, right, cause you wouldn't dumb the guy you're with if you could have a hot model banker.  shit, women are stupid beyond human understanding.  ALL women.  I thought it was only 99% but not one has the ability to think or judge correctly or to communicate.  Pure sheer stupidity and I will no longer pretend it's ok and well we'll find a middle ground.

'No, you're stupid, I'm smart, you've never been right even once in a decade where I've been right 99% of the time, this and all things of any importance will be done as I say and if you don't like it there' a hotter bitch than you waiting to suck my dick right behind you."  These were my exact words to this dumb bitch and she still asks why I never listen to her:  Point in case, stupidity beyond measure and which can never be fixed, just replace the dumb bitch with a younger better model when it starts to make funny noises.  This one is 13 years younger than me, I promised her I wouldn't settle for any skank who isn't at least a 3 years newer model.    It's a must, it's the principal of the matter.  You can't dump a dumb bitch and then downgrade, no you always upgrade that way the bitch feels like shit her whole life.  And that's the payback, it's better than the stoning protocol which was awesome in its own right at the time.

and my wife is a fucking weak 7, I only married her cause it was the first woman who didn't rape me on the first date and wasn't a whore like 99% of women in America who blow on the first date then say:  I've never done this on a first date. 

oh fuck, every woman I date said the same thing like they had first date blowjob meeting - I never once believed that line.  Needless to say that even if this goodie-goodie turned out to be a whore there is no such thing in the world as a woman who is not a whore.

I will not longer be the honest generous and kind type - from now on, after my divorce, it's gonna be "feeding time" and don't ever call me you whore.

and trust me, I'm the kind of guy who literally says that outloud to women on first dates.  I never hold back the truth no matter if it means this chick will walk out right now.  I don't give a shit, it only means i saved myself a bunch of money and time with some dumb bitch.  Never hold back, tell it like it is.  '

You're fat, join the gym, you'll feel healthier and you won't be so insecure cause the only thing uglier than a fat chick is an insecure bitch."

I've been slapped by more women for being honest than I can count.  But it was the truth so why would they be mad.  Oh yeah, cause it's the truth.  I just love telling women the truth, it feels great.  you guys sick of a woman's bullshit - you wanna get back, don't be mean, just calmly tell the truth about her.  ALL OF IT.  and once you start to think about it, man, there's bag-loads so just unload.  What is she gonna do, report you for being honest.  Then she'll know how good you were to always pretend and lie to yourself for all her nasty ugly shortcomings.  But it only works if the bitch can't find anything wrong with you.  Like I don't even watch porn although I picked up cursing so that's all this bitch has on me and she's part  of that cause so she's got nothing to say back to me.  That's the perfect leverage.

Vlad finds the "open source" concept very hard to understand.

Did you read the license under which you released Nuggets?

BTW, i dont know if you realized that this thread was moved to off-topic again because of your never-ending ramblings and the wildly off topic replies they get.

Fucker.

a) it was ALL my money I earned working 80 hour weeks in banking.

b) displeased?  Stupid, what do you think driving a second stake through my heart means?


Man, the level of dumbness here is beyond any blue collar job I've ever had.  When I first got here I pretty much thought I was the dumbest guy here.  but besides computer literacy, 90% of the people here are incredibly uneducated and truly and genuinely stupid.

It's like white trash losers who just happened to pick up a computer hobby instead of baking meth.  That's it, that sums up the general population of most people here.  Sheer fucking logic escapes almost everyone here.

No wonder you can't see the coming alt coin boom even though it's black fucking white.  Dumb shits.


You're gonna search me out to kiss my feet if I'm right and alt coins blow up by next year, after Bitcoin gets their ETF license.

cuase if if it wasn't for a guy  like me (and yes, I'm alone) screaming from the rooftops hardly any of you would hoard coins.  Most would sell them to buy a cool stereo for your 85 rabbit.  Wake up dildos, and read and think and then post.

Are you still retarded, this coin will always be legally mine because I paid to build it and I launched it myself and I paid for bounties and supported it 16+ hours per day - without this so called crazy thread there would be ZERO interest in Nuggets and this thread is 90% me.  Just look at other coins which were lauched by DEVs and not WEVs and launched right and with no issues and there's near ZERO interst cause nobody knows nor cares about their coins cause there's now 2 new coins coming out everyday and soon 10 coins per day (3 months max).

 Any free work done on this coin is part of open source and it is done on all coins here even near dead ones by free will of altruistic people.  They can't steal your coin cause they secretely did some work on it without even asking you.  It's like me fixing your ferrary while you're on vacation and then taking the title cause I fixed it without even you knowledge or asking for payment.  You're a true idiot.  You're the same guy who thought it was a great idea to put into writing that you openly conspire with a real and criminal letter of blackmail.   Your logic is that of a dumb woman.I was shocked a week ago when I saw MarkM with a full plate on the ixCoin board talking about programming work he was doing for free.

That's when I realized these guys are truly altruistic to a point, they wanna help coins succeed.  I'm sure they may hold some coins but so what, let someone else do the work or ask to be paid and any bounties from ixCoin will be at best like 50,000 coins which at less than half a  cent (bid) you're looking at NOTHING.

So no, the fact that some people did free work without my knowledge doesn't give them the right to steal this coin if it succeeds.  their payoff will be the easy coins they mine, especially with the VGB protocol if the coin does take off, cause right now the difficulty on Nuggets is low, anyone with a decent miner can get serious coins.  So you mine some coins, put a few hours or days of work in it, do a good deed, and eventually one will payoff.

MarkM made a killing on BBQcoin and all he did was mine it when the difficulty was a joke kinda like it is now on Nuggets.

So stop with your lies cause this is what partly set me off on r3, the thought that someone will steal something I paid and worked for - not programming but staying up 48 hours straight to keep this thread alive......well, at least interesting.

you guys might not see this but if this theread dies interest in the mining the coin will also fall by a lot.  This thread might be a joke to many but it gets massive views and some of what people see is a WEV trying to be honest and offering bounties any way he can, a coin being stolen and copied and hijacked, progress being done by guys like twobits and markM and a near fully functioning  coin and what this does is it brings in potential miners that would otherwise never even hear nor care about Nuggets.

And to get 15,000 Views and nearly 2,000 posts in under 1 week is in large part my 16-48 straight hours spent on here daily since launch.  I took 1 day off and the activity fell off a cliff.

So no court in America will give this coin to any programmer cause they helped out when it's a common practice in this alt coin community.

And besides, why would it matter if it's my coin (what do you mean) if I don't mine Nuggets I can't make a dime.  I gave them all away?  If this coin hits $100, I get not 1 penny so why would it matter if it's mine, why do you think I'm freaking out to mine it.  Or am I missing something, does the owner of a coin get something just because they developed or paid someone to develop that coin for them at some point in the future if that coin succeeds?  Cause from what I've read, if satoshi himself wants money he's got to mine bitcoin (ignoring the 800,000 premined rhetoric).  So let me ask anyone in the know, am I missing something, is there a way for me to legally and ethically get coins besides mining if this coin does succeed?  Feel free to PM me if this is taboo.  Thanks in Advance.

Ok, so first you waste your family money, and after your wife becomes displeased, you call her animal and file a divorce. Good one!

lol


Also don't forget to answer me:

Guys, like I've been saying, don't be short sighted, mine or buy any coin and and you will make more money than any stocks.

I have made lots of money and lost lots (beofre I got an education - see education is half-good) but no stocks compare to the profits you stand to make on these coins once the bankers take over probably next year, starting early next year depending when the ETF license is given out, my guess 2-3 months (plus 2-3 months after the ETF starts to trade), max 6 months.

So I want to mine Nuggets as much as possible before it takes off, presuming I'm right and it does.  Second for me to buy cause mining is impossible is ixCoin as I really belive the bankers will target that coin and drive it thrugh the roof and then devcoin.  Too many good things that devcoin is doing to not have at least atheist karma give it it's due time in the sun while I think governments will get involved and a coin like devoin is a perfect sell for a French-type government.


NFL, NBA, Bieber the hot lady, et al will all want their own coins cause nothing like this has ever existed on earth.  To have a virtual product with no real value that can become worth billions just due to perception and popularity.  Can you imagine if you made a mining app for your iphone how many stupid 14 year old bitches would mine a bieber coin?  It would be stupid.  This is a marketers dream, buy your NFL tickets with NFL coins and get 5%, they'll make 100 times more on the value of their coins.

 It's gonna be madness when it goes mainstream probably next year most likely starting 2-3 months after the launch of the ETF when bankers see the ETF will not collapse and on the contrary will go up probably 30% in the first 60 days which is crazy for a wallstreet investment.  That's when the bankers with millions and billions to invest will come looking for alt coins and ixCoin is on the top of my list if I were working on wallstreet while devcoin is a more socio-political play.

I'm shocked at how few, or maybe none, can see the intergalactic icerberg about to hit this planet called the biggest revolution of all time, the digital money revolution which will change everything and unfortunately it will also cost you every bit of freedom you have left.

and of please, spots, they criminalized gold and went door to door and confiscated all the gold in America and 7 months later took 70% of the wealth away from all americans by literally writing gold to have the value of $35 instead of the $20 it had when they stole it.  Stealing Bitcoin (especially since there's no founder to be found, oh, what a coincidence) or any other coin, in the name of national security will be so easy it's a joke and it will be done in about 5 minutes with one keyboard instead of tens of thousands of people all across America taking your gold cause it's now a criminal act to own it.  You people need to understand the need for a digital currency and that the rest has already been done before by many governments - the mass theft of money of devaluing or changing a currency overnight was done in my country Romania, twice and in GErmany and Russia.  it's the easiest way to rob everyone in the country at once, "legally" cause they passed a law that the representatives the people chose signed.
This is happening - it's as sure to me as any stock I've ever seen.  It's a guarantee cause all  the greatest powers that be want it and want it badly for many different reasons but none more than any and all governments as it gives them total control over the people and total control over instant and immediate taxation.  You'll never hide 1 penny ever again.  You'll never not pay taxes on the lawn your kid mowed and you paid him $5 ever again.  Don't you people see how obvious and absolutely necessary it is for Bitcoin to succeed is and yet all the 'PROS" are saying it's impossible and they will never get their license.  

You're all silent now only a few said Bitcoin will never get an ETF and watch once they do, all you two faced mutes will come out and say, big deal you were right, we knew it all along.  Then why not come out now and be on record even though all the media, the experts and Harvard PHD's are saying no way, it will and cannot ever happen.  Let's get people on record if it's sucn an easy call as you'll make it look like if I end up being right while the truth is, right now it's looking like not even a 5% chance Bitcoin will get their ETF liicense, I only put their odds at 99% based on all the other factors such as history, knowledge of human nature, meaning government powers, human greed for more power and money, banks and their nature to oppress humans for cash, etc.  So let me hear all you that don't think Bitcoin will not get their ETF, go on record so then you won't rob me of my near miraculous call cause that's what it will mean if you look at the financial facts for Bitcoin to get that ETF license.  But it's a done deal.  BAnk on it and hoard all coins, I will be proved wrong in under 6 moths if I'm wrong so what have you got to lose?

if You accumulate just 5 different coins, it will be nearly impossible to not make at least 6 figures and if you know how and when to sell the top, the frenzy, you can make at least $1 million?  Why, cause this is the worlds largest Ponzi scheme, there is no real value or real product, and only a few coins will survive and eventually they will choose one for the whole globe but this Ponzi shceme, everyone here is in on the bottom floor which is a guarantee of millions if you're smart.  buy, mine and hold.good luck.

It's already yours
Oh wait, not anymore
Neither the code, nor the github, nor the coins

My little brother is gonna let me borrow his computer tomorrow.  He built it and it's pretty good, like a $900 new computer.  it has a decent graphics card but not top end so I'll probably go buy another one and put it in there.

My questions.

does it have to be the same make model and all that or can I throw in like an AMD 7850 or even 2, he's got 4 slots but I read when you go beyond 2 and especially with 4 you're not gonna do any better.


first of all I want mine this coin, Nuggets before deifficulty goes too high and then I wanna try to mine other small coins likes what MarkM has said, which if I had listened, and I tried, I would have probably made bank off of tenebrix and Fairbrix.


Second, how and what can I do to mine Nuggets with the VGB working?  Twobits has some fix for it but it's confusing and I don't know, I'd rather wait until it's embedded into a new wallet (client) then I just download a new client and bam, I can mine it right.


and Twobits and MarkM, I will get your bounties, I just wanna see  one golden block get hit just 3 times at the proper intervals.  That's all, sorry to doubt you but if your fix fails I'll have to give out more bounties and I'm just not doing well in the bounty coffer, although if r3 really came through I have 279K NUGs to give out for bounties.  100,000 is already out there ready for grabs.

And thanks again r3, 150,000 would have had me sold since it's not in the character to give money to their attackers, I would never do that and yet you're saying you doubled that amount and gave me every cent.

man I feel like shit now - but I need bounty money so badly and it was your posts that made everyone call me a scammer or whoever I thought was you and that forced me to prove it by giving away 1.57 Million NUGs coins, otherwise I'd just return them.  But I promise to make it up to you another way, man.

but I promise you man, if this works out or if my other coins blow up like I think they will I promise to keep you in mind.  I never forget people who do what's right or at least try.

So when I get the miner tomorrow night I hope I'll need help to get this miner set up.


And regarding the VGB fix when will it be the easiest time to download it cause the twobit fix is confusing to me.

thanks!

hotcold, if you have balls, send him 666.666 as expected
(then 1.111 more in another transaction if you want)


lol

Lol are you fucking kidding me? You are far more keyboard power. Proof is your thousand of lengthy posts.

Do you realise I'm a girl?

You forgot to wrote about the horrible news.

Perhaps you are planning to launch another coin?

to that werid 666.666 devil coin guy wanting to give me coins.


sorry I've been busy.  here's my address but I said it has to be 667.777, and you said you'd compromise.

thanks.

cool?



NMPFch3u7cz9NxPCWNAuasK7uDY8hY5emD

Bitch noodlie guy, ask for any proof you want an you got it.

I am not making any of this up.

I'm not asking for anything.  I have nothing to gain but look like a basketcase.

you're an idiot.

look for motive in all things.  I already look crazy now people will say, oh, now it makes sense.  my email didn't help me at all for this coin but I said i'd be honest and that's what I am.

stop being such a hateful jealous bitch.  that's one reason I removed my suit pic off my avatar cause I felt some men were hating on me for no reason and that's usually a sign of jealousy.  that's  human fact.

On the contrary, when I talk to them they fall in love.

Maybe a woman can tell me this.  When a man seriously tells you i'm looking for a nice girl who won't sleep with a guy until marriage why would you, on the first date jump him in the car on the way home and basically rape him if you really life him.

90% of my dates, I was always honest with the women and told them I was looking for a nice girl who wasn't easy and they'd blow me or basically rape me in the car.

I was always too emberassed to ask why, I just don't get it.  If a hot chick tells me she wants a man to stand on his head and she'll marry that kind of guy I'd be on my head 12 hours per day. 


You're an idiot - I had New York Modeling contracts at 25, I'm very funny and natural be around, I've never cheated on any woman, all my ex-girlfriends are on my facebook and they're all married and they send me messages all the time.  women don't do that to men who cheated on them.  I was as loyal as a dog, generous, at the same time manly and I always knew what I wanted, no woman told me what to do and shockingly American women actually got turned by this.  that shocked me.

I was the shit.  You're a jealous idiot, I could have slept with hundreds of women but I only banged 8 and that even makes me feel bad.  I was humiliated when I had to admit such a number to my wife before I got married.  I wanted her to know who she was marrying and not find out later and say I lied. 

Let me tell you - DON'T EVER DO THAT.  Even though she knows I could have banged 800 she uses it as leverage any time she can.  women are crazy and clever like that.

Today, I'm around 40 and I can't go to the mall without 19-25 year old girls hitting on me.  My wife is sick of it so I know it's not in my head.  and I never firt, I never make eye contact, it's just something about me and it has to be more than looks.

and that pic I had on my profile a few days ago in a suit, that was taken with my iphone by me just 2 months ago.  That's how I look right now.   Tell me what hot chick wouldn't bang that if he had a great sense of humor and all the other qualities I have?

You're a keyboard hero and have to buy chicks I have to turn away.  get a life dude.

Until you talk to them and they realise and it's literally impossible to have a conversation with such a close minded guy.


Guise, don't fall for it, this man is a grand troll. Or mythomaniac. Probably both.

I'm gonna take the night off.

Thanks for those helping this coin, I hope it pays off for you 1,000 fold.  Thank you!

Was that second part necessary?   You locked us all out of my coin for 2 days.  What did you want us to think?  You refused to give me my half of coins for 2 days, what was I supposed to think.  I wrote you and asked you nicely to stop and no response what was I supposed to think.  You paid Shakezula 274,000 without my permission so what was I supposed to think about what else you were doing with my coins when I had already paid Shakezula in full plus a bonus and you knew that.

Listen, I'll check my wallet and if you did really send me that many coins I will admit in public I was wrong cause scammers don't give away money to people who attack them viciously.  That's enough proof for me.  If my wallet has these coins you will get my full apology but don't act like I acted this out to extort you when I really just went by the facts and the facts pointed to you gaming this coin.


So I'll just assume you sent the coins and apologize now.  Proof was there but it was obviously coincidental and I am quick to judge if I see any kind if proof end you didn't respond to my email which was nice in tone asking you to please stop.  If these coins are really in my wallet I apologize now and I take full responsibility for the pain I caused you and for ruining your rep.

It's all on me.  I misread too much in what I saw and your lack of response set me on fire.  This was my coin so it was like attacking a person in my family.

I'm sorry, I was terribly wrong.  If this coin works out I promise to make it up to you somehow.  I regret attacking you.  I held off the FBI email to make sure Cause that's one bitch you can't pull back once you pull the trigger and even though you're innocent they have to investigate and who wants those assholes on your ass.  

If anyone ever calls you out just sent them to me or use this post.  I was obviously grossly mistaken, led by coincidental information and fired up by the personal aspect of this coin.

Again, I'm truly sorry for being so badly mistaken about you but in no way did I do this to extort you so let's not start another war.  Look at the facts, most people in my place would have made the same mistake.  I'm sorry. Please accept my apology and let's move on.

I have some horrible news.

I'm only posting this stuff so people will at least cut me a break and because I try hard to be a man of my word and I promised full disclosure and this is a material event which will affect my judgement and cognitive abilities so they do affect anyone involved in this coin (in a good way).  And this is another reason why launching this coin has been a challenge for me, I was constantly fighting a war at home while trying to accomplish something for myself and my children.  I couldn't write for devtome and couldn't post here for 2 weeks (like a month ago) cause of severe family issues.

Well, they just got much worse. 


First, my life, heart and soul, the light of my spirit - was brutally extinguished when my son died 4 years ago.  There's posts all over the yahoo finance board under the same ID if you guys think I'm lying, under the MVIS thread, where I lost $50,000 cause of a lying CEO and those who listened to me to sell when I did would have lost about 30%, most didn't and have since lost 93% of their initial investment now and 5 more years of precious life.

This is the real reason I can't find work I have a major gap in employment so I don't even get a callback.  For three years I wasn't able to eat or sleep or function in any form of human condition.  I would pray every night for God to take my life that night, just to cry when I woke up alive the next morning.  But I had 2 other small kids who needed me so I had to be there for them so suicide for me was and is never an option.  That's how cowards go out.  I'd rather give my life and die fighting a worthy war or give it to helping poor people than ending it for free.  What a waste of a priceless asset.

Ever since then, my life and my marriage has been hell and I have now filed for divorce and I know my children will be devastated and that hurts me so much that it shreds me inside.  On God's name, I would die a thousand times over just to see them happy but I can't no longer live with an animal of a woman.

And trust me, I have been a dream husband, I've never cheated and I have had amazing young women throw themselves at me.  In fact, this animal won't even sign the divorce and I'm not asking for anything except equal rights to the kids, but she'd rather keep me here trapped so I can't move on and be happy.

But I can't pretend anymore, I have my bags packed and just waiting for this bitch to sign but she refuses.  I'll probably move to San Fran where there's banking jobs.  But see, I have this gap in employment and that's why nobody will hire me.  I tried but I couldn't even eat that 3 years.   It's now been 4 years and I can finally laugh sometimes or go to a movie or go for a walk.

For me marriage meant everything, I always believed with all my heart in the concept:  One wife one life - one life one Wife, but this animal has put the second stake though my heart and this:  I will no longer bear.

Maybe now some of you understand why I'm sometimes so angry or short tempered.  I'm sorry.  This is not a game.  I may be in AZ in a Few days, my bro lives there and there's more banking jobs there.  But my kids, I've tried to leave this whore before and after a week I find myself crying for my kids and I just come right back - trapped for life in a no win situation.  This choice is worse than death.  No matter what I do my life and that of my kids is destroyed for life.  Now I see why they used to take whores and stoned them to death - it allowed all those left alive to have a fresh new start.

I may move to Romania, i really want to - they have top programmers happy to work for $500 per month, if I can get enough mining rigs together to support myself or get a coin off the ground - this was another reason I wanted to launch a coin, besides the other reasons I gave, jobs out there (Romania) are zero and I would like to move back home and maybe bribe this whore to come out there so I can have my kids but I need a lot of money for that.

Some of you will ridicule this post, and that's ok, I always enforce free will and expression.

But I promised full transparency and this is what this is.  This is affecting my mind and thoughts and I may be gone days at a time, which is a material event which any responsive person running any operation would disclose, and I don't want people thinking I don't care about or I've abandoned this coin.  This coin is like my real job, it means a lot to me, since nobody will hire a guy with a 3 year (now 4 years) gap in his employment.

This is why I'm broke - I've gone through my savings (most of it) during this time.  I tried to get another degree or go to law school but found myself flunking out of Mickey Mouse fluff classes I would previously Ace without even going to classes or buying the books, I simply couldn't function at even 10% capacity, no matter how hard I tried.  I was literally mentally disabled 24/7 no matter how hard I tried to act or pretend, it was humanly impossible.

The death of my boy has torn my mind and soul apart and now there's nothing left. But I'm starting to finally get some ambition back and some will to live which I thought was gone forever, I'm not where I was before but the fact I've been looking for work (for a year just to get laughed out of interviews) and I launched a coin which was much harder than I thought, tells me that I think I can function in a real job now or maybe do something like law school or maybe even once again excel at something - something truly a gift for I was convinced I would remain a vegetable forever.

So bear with me, I'll do my best to get money for bounties and to keep my promise to make this the best coin.  Before my mind was taken from me I was untouchable - I was an amazing overachiever, I excelled at everything, I was commonly put in charge over my departments after just months on a job, and then, overnight I reached a point where I couldn't even feed myself from just a sheer lack and no desire to live, and a depression so deep as pitch black as hell itself.  I lost so much weight my hip bones were showing through my clothes and my tightest jeans were falling off.  I was utterly destroyed on every human and animal level and I am now finally seeing some light, some recovery and some hope to live and be productive once again.

That's when I first started cursing (4 hears ago) and now I can't stop.  That's why it must seem weird for a guy to talk about God then use the F word and be so angry.  I was never like that before, no matter what anyone ever did or say to me.

I don't need pity - I have enough of that willpower robbing bitch for myself already, I'm naturally a selfish asshole.  This pain has helped enormously in ways I've never imagined possible, besides humbling an incredibly overinflated ego - it literally opens your eyes and mind to things previously unable to be seen by the naked eye and things previously impossible to be understood by the natural human mind - all of a sudden the veil of secrecy and the great riddle is pierced and the previously unseen things are clear as day and visible like the sun above. But it's also unimaginable pain and utter destruction of your mind and soul.  Perhaps you must first destroy before you can truly rebuild something new and much greater but I would never choose this for myself, even seeing the benefits with my own eyes and mind.

I turned down my doctor's prescription offers for Xanax and other shit out of fear maybe one day I'll get over this hell just to be stuck in a different one.  But there were nights after many without sleep and a deep desire to die when I did take fistfuls of whatever I found for sleep.  But never a regular thing, just when I started dreaming awake I knew it was time to sleep but the nightmares were always bloody, viciously violent, and recurring and never went away.  I couldn't see a pregnant woman or walk by the toddler section of a store and not break down.  I have always had tough skin, but this was so unexpected that it messed my head beyond understanding.  And now it's just gonna get worse.

If anyone can pray for me that would be a great benefit, even if you're an atheist, God still hears you.  Otherwise I don't need anything, treat me the same (especially the perma-assholes) just understand I may be on the road or God knows where and I may not be able to be on this thread non-stop.  But I promise to do my best.

So now you know.  And yeah, this is yet one more reason why I'm a different kind of DEV, or lets just call me WEV, so it doesn't offend the real devs.  WannabeDev is good for me if it gives me a small place at the edge of this alt coin table I believe enormously much.

Good luck and God Bless everyone!