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Topic: mizerydearia's obnoxious health escapade (Read 5189 times)

hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
March 12, 2012, 08:02:01 AM
#54
Just don't start taking them then stop. Follow the schedule the doctor told you once you start. I had a friend start rispiridone (along with some other stuff) and he started getting all paranoid and shit for awhile then it subsided once his brain got used to it. The way these drugs are supposed to work is long-term changing the levels of your neurotransmitters and receptors, not right away. No personal experience with it though.

I'm not so sure.  I've been watching way too many youtube vids from keyword: "risperidone" or "risperdal" and I am even more traumatized now watching them portraying the experiences of others as they had endured for years of taking the medication.  But they are fake, right?  I should not believe things I see on the Internet.  Doctors know what they are doing.  There is no such thing as evilness or corruption.  us dollar is good.  bitcoin is bad.  I have found you can find happiness in slavery.

But still, I know what I must do relative to my own rationality and competency that I strive to consistently maintain (besides the sarcasm as shown above).  I trust myself.  And especially I have a health journal for these very things that I fear, uncertainty of the health industry or the medical industry.  I shall still continue to actively participate, but also I will still document things.  As I arrive in Pittsburgh, I would like to begin the habit of voice recording all interactions with doctors and others and provide text transcripts of everything so that I can provide even more account of many important things and efforts that progress.  There have been many key things that have been discussed between my therapist and myself that are forever lost in time.  I would like to prevent that in the future.

Again, as much as this is a battle for myself, it's also a battle for everyone else that has similar health issues.  I need more hit points to sustain this battle.  Does anyone have any healing potions?

At least I keep telling myself that, ever since someone suggested to start a journal.
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
Just don't start taking them then stop. Follow the schedule the doctor told you once you start. I had a friend start rispiridone (along with some other stuff) and he started getting all paranoid and shit for awhile then it subsided once his brain got used to it. The way these drugs are supposed to work is long-term changing the levels of your neurotransmitters and receptors, not right away. No personal experience with it though.
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513

Yep. Last year I added to https://gitorious.org/health-journal/mizerydearia/blobs/master/infos and https://gitorious.org/health-journal/mizerydearia/blobs/master/links

I do not have "black specks, fibers or pustules" and thus my health issue is not related to Morgellon's

Also, this thread is connected/related.
donator
Activity: 853
Merit: 1000
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
Hi Bitcoin community.

I am just chiming in to say that I will be relocating to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania shortly after April 5th as part of some kind of effort so that I can experiment with a lifestyle where I do not live in the same living space all day every day and especially one where I can actively be outdoors most frequently, constantly moving, perhaps getting away from the idea of parasites chasing after me, or rather, thriving whereever I am.

Again, for the case that my health issue is psychological, then me experimentation/evaluation may portray my experimentation as ineffective or unresolvable.

Though, in the case it is parasitical, perhaps I may observe some kind of escape, but also, still I consider that in the case it is parasitical, I may be host to them in which they thrive and propagate from me and thus, I will never get rid of them.

Also, there is another reason why I desire to go to Pittsburgh.  It is to be near someone that is very inspirational and motivational for me to continue where I am becoming very desperately overwhelmed and emotionally distressed, and I wish to lead a more outdoor lifestyle, but I am seemingly unable to do so here, living in this living space where I am accustomed to, and unable to establish new patterns or new habits.  

I will still be around periodically to update my journal and also perhaps even I can contribute effort to resolve witcoin conflict, and I really would like to.

Also, if anyone lives in or is nearby Pittsburgh, perhaps I can be available to introduce myself.  And then the bitcoin community can capture me and hold me hostage until I resolve the things I've been neglecting (e.g. witcoin), but preferably or ideally I would like to be held hostage in a mobile fashion, one where I can escape traumatizing nibbling sensations from staying in the same place for too long.

Also, of the medication that I was prescribed, I wish to postpone consuming them until after I endure experimenting as mentioned above.  They do not expire until next year, so I should still have the opportunity to resort to psychological/mental treatment/medication in the case that my experiments/tests/observations do not yield recognition of a biological health issue.

l3estest l2egardedsness,
Miz
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
February 26, 2012, 02:04:18 AM
#48
One of my previous housemates responded to me:

So, I shall try to take showers less, try to not shower daily, and also effortfully try not to take baths.  It will be very difficult for me especially as I awaken and every time I do after a long duration of sleep I feel so dirty and grimy and my eyes, I need to rinse off the muck off and around my eyes, and my hair, I must....  no, I can't.  Even as I only bathe and shower many times and do not use any chemicals, perhaps it is merely the water, even the hard water that is here, that is dissolving my hair and my skin.  So, I shall try to shower less.

Again, this post is relevant.

With regards to feeling grimy... this is a psychological thing. Some people even like a grimy feeling. The only reason most people wash so often is that we live, work indoors and BO can be annoying to others around you. It is not "natural" to wash so often, but then neither is spending most of your time in an indoor climate controlled environment. As to the muck around your eyes... Do you wear contacts, or have in the past? Do you sleep with a fan on in the room?


hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
February 25, 2012, 01:56:57 AM
#47
Habits are hard to break. It takes about two weeks for a scratch to heal, same for your brain to adjust. However, that piece of skin and your brain have been forever changed by the experience, and are no longer as they were. It will be similar to quitting smoking. I would recommend that when you feel like smoking... crap I mean showering, you do something that is even more addictive than showering has become for you...
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
February 24, 2012, 04:51:57 PM
#46
One of my previous housemates responded to me:

Quote
i just read through the whole thread at https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=55565.40 and i kept thinking about a particular thing. this is something i've thought about before in conjunction with your lifestyle when you lived with me. i think the products you use and the frequency with which you shower might be very detrimental to you.
 
sodium lauryl sulfates and other chemicals are in the hair and body products that you use. just look up sodium lauryl sulfates and there's a huge amount of information about their harmfulness. showering/bathing every day may not show symptoms for awhile, but there is a cumulative damage that goes on, and perhaps your immune system was strong enough to keep it from your awareness until the stress of the apartment your father made you live in. the experience in that apartment could have been a trigger for you to become hyper-aware of the detriment caused by sodium lauryl sulfates (and other chemicals in personal cleansing products) while at the same time weakening your body and causing all the symptoms to become more severe, and then your increased bathing in response will continue to further dry and strip your skin and hair of essential oils and even destroy the cells.
 
the description you gave of your hair strands falling apart is pretty much the same as what i used to experience when i was bleaching my hair and dying it green and then swimming laps in the lawrence university pool and not always showering afterwards to wash the chlorine off myself. i had never had any problems with dry skin before in my life and i really didn't care about damaging my hair. i developed guttate psoriasis after i graduated because i was going swimming every single day and the chlorine was damaging my skin to the point that my immune system was mistaking damaged skin cells for pathogens. first i started to shower more diligently after swimming, to remove the chlorine, but that didn't help and it made my skin drier and made the psoriasis worse. i tried using lotions and they made it worse. i had to go to new york to perform in rocky horror picture show and i was very concerned about what looked like a terrible rash all over my skin when i had to perform nearly naked in front of thousands of people, so i saw a doctor and got a cream for the psoriasis before i went to new york, and stopped swimming for about a week to give the cream a chance to fix my skin. the cream worked. i went to new york and it was all good. i came back and started swimming again and the psoriasis came back. then it got cold and i stopped swimming and i used some more of my cream because the winter was giving me dry skin in a way that it never had before, but by the spring of 2005 the psoriasis was under control and my swimming habits were sadly interrupted and i never did get back into that routine.
 
anyways, the whole time i'd been swimming and bleaching/dying my hair, i was well aware of how this was killing it. and it was pretty much just like you described your own hair. i chopped all my hair off a year or so later, and eventually shaved most of my head as you know. once i started letting my hair grow out again, it was thick and lush and undamaged like when i was a child. it was beautiful. i always knew i could do that, so i never worried about what i was doing to my hair. play with it, kill it, it'll just grow back.
 
but the psoriasis on my skin prompted me to do a lot of research into chemicals and their impact, and i've done a lot of experiments and noticed a significant difference between using commercial products versus using super-expensive custom-made all-natural products. i couldn't really afford the super expensive products, so i opted to shower and wash my hair much less frequently, to conserve the products i'd purchased.  i had already learned during college that if i go for a month or so without bathing, once my hair got through the greasy phase, it was suddenly wonderful, as though it was conditioned, even though it wasn't even washed. but when i was trying to conserve my expensive shampoo and body wash stuff, i discovered that simply decreasing my showering to 2 or 3 times a week instead of daily, had visible results of better skin and hair within a couple weeks, and greatly greatly reduced dry skin. ever since the psoriasis in 2004, i'd had terrible problems with dry skin in the winter, itchiness that was so bad i'd scratch until i bled sometimes. but after i stopped showering daily, i haven't had that kind of dry skin ever since.
 
my situation is different from yours in very significant regards, but i think certain similarities are notable and will hopefully give you more insight into your own condition and help you figure out how to heal from it.
 
another thing i thought of while reading that forum thread was when someone mentioned vitamin B and other nutritional deficiencies. i know people who have had anorexia-related nutritional deficiencies who had similar symptoms as yours, but their experiences were related to me vaguely so i don't have much to share on this topic, other than that this is definitely something to look into. i personally have varying degrees of B and D vitamin deficiencies from time to time because of my almost meatless diet and my alcoholism, and one prominent side effect of this is that my skin bruises and tears and scars very easily and takes a long time to heal. i've never had particularly sensitive skin, but i can imagine how easily-damaged and hyper-sensitive could arise from the same sort of phenomenon.

So, I shall try to take showers less, try to not shower daily, and also effortfully try not to take baths.  It will be very difficult for me especially as I awaken and every time I do after a long duration of sleep I feel so dirty and grimy and my eyes, I need to rinse off the muck off and around my eyes, and my hair, I must....  no, I can't.  Even as I only bathe and shower many times and do not use any chemicals, perhaps it is merely the water, even the hard water that is here, that is dissolving my hair and my skin.  So, I shall try to shower less.

Again, this post is relevant.
legendary
Activity: 1904
Merit: 1002
February 23, 2012, 07:34:02 PM
#45
I would advise getting a second opinion from DrG.
https://bitcointalksearch.org/topic/medical-consult-for-bitcoins-64287

He may be able to help clear up any confusion, and he accepts BTC donations for his medical mission.
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
February 23, 2012, 07:07:59 PM
#44
I updated my journal with a new entry and some resources for visit to a psychiatric crisis walk-in center today and other things.  My therapist referred me to go there this last Tuesday.  I was prescribed Paroxetine Hydrochloride for depression and Risperidone for mental/mood disorder, though the doctor specifically indicated that the latter medicine was for the nibble sensations.  O_O  I feel as if he did not understand that I wanted to be treated for the nibbling sensations and not for mental or psychological concerns.



see more pics and stuff in resources

Researching Paroxetine, I see:

Quote
General side effects are mostly present during the first 1–4 weeks while the body acquires a tolerance to the drug, although once this happens, withdrawal can cause a rebound effect with symptoms re-emerging in an exaggerated form for very long periods of time.

Quote
Many psychoactive medications can cause withdrawal symptoms upon discontinuation from administration.

Quote
Evidence has shown that paroxetine has among the highest incidence rates and severity of withdrawal syndrome of any medication of its class.

Quote
Common withdrawal symptoms for paroxetine include nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness and vertigo; insomnia, nightmares and vivid dreams; feelings of electricity in the body, as well as crying and anxiety.

Quote
Paroxetine prescribing information posted at GlaxoSmithKline now acknowledges the occurrence of a discontinuation syndrome, including serious discontinuation symptoms.

This scares me and reinforces that which I despise medication.  I do not trust taking that particular medication.

Researching Risperidone I see:

that it seems okay mostly.  Is there anything that I should be concerned about?  I am still hesitant to start taking it though. =/  My concern is more relative to the nibble sensations than that of depression or mental disorder.  I would rather first cure/resolve these nibbling sensations.
legendary
Activity: 1764
Merit: 1015
January 29, 2012, 11:52:20 AM
#43
I just realized I assumed mizerydearia is a straight male for some reason. Sorry if I got that wrong.

I'm not so sure what I am
Have you tried O-T-C anti fungal medication?

If you have does this help the itching/biting at all?

I to have suffered from chronic itching, so I know where you are coming from.

Also you might want to try gold-bond medicated lotion, 2-3 times a day. Your skin might just be damaged/not enough moisture.

Nonetheless you need to go see a good dermatologist, Internet forums will never get you the help you need.

Will donate some BTC to help out.
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
January 29, 2012, 10:34:45 AM
#42
I just realized I assumed mizerydearia is a straight male for some reason. Sorry if I got that wrong.

I'm not so sure what I am
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
January 27, 2012, 09:33:27 AM
#41
I just realized I assumed mizerydearia is a straight male for some reason. Sorry if I got that wrong.
sr. member
Activity: 574
Merit: 250
January 26, 2012, 11:25:25 PM
#40
A tangential thought... given the conditions that you described at the apartment where these symptoms first presented themselves, you might consider getting the services of a Legal Aid (pro bono/free) attorney to work with you on a case against the slumlord. And possibly your father for Adult Abuse. Anyone maintaining a "living" situation like that is guilty of a number of crimes, and if your father forced you against your better judgement and will to live there, he may also have some liability. That might help with any costs associated with getting good quality medical care. You might also want to check with the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. It is probably the best medical facility in the US, and they do not dismiss patients with vague claims of psychological issues, they work with you whatever the reason.

You should also present you thoughts to your local Health officials, if the root cause is environmental, and is linked to the apartment, they can bring significant resources to bear on getting action to investigate the building, to possibly condemn the building if it is a hazard, and directing you to care.

Good luck.
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
January 26, 2012, 10:20:51 PM
#39
You may be more motivated than me... if you put this into an excel file, and develop some coding system for body region (1=thumb, 2= thigh, etc) I will search for patterns.

From https://gitorious.org/health-journal/mizerydearia/trees/master
http://65.30.35.48/nibbles.2011.11.21.php
http://65.30.35.48/nibbles.2011.12.11.php
http://65.30.35.48/nibbles.2011.12.12.php


Also, I just want to add that some of the nibbles feel like something is flying and bumping into me, and that has been the case since the very first of sensations and the reason why I thought they were bugs (also because I saw bugs, but never saw them on me).

Thanks for this!

The place in your skin where hair is generated (the hair follicles) are innervated. If you are extra sensitive to your hair moving about due to a breeze, etc... or even if your signal to noise ratio is very low, it would explain these sensations.
hero member
Activity: 574
Merit: 513
January 26, 2012, 10:11:14 PM
#38
Also, I just want to add that some of the nibbles feel like something is flying and bumping into me, and that has been the case since the very first of sensations and the reason why I thought they were bugs (also because I saw bugs, but never saw them on me).

Thanks for this!
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
January 26, 2012, 09:57:08 PM
#37
Oh yea, please go to an actual M.D.. Do not rely on chiropractors, an O.D., or other types of naturalistic or homeopathic "healers". While some of them may be onto something, the vast majority are either ignorant or scam artists. One last thing, I would also suggest setting a goal of getting yourself into a mental and physical state that enables you to get laid. Lots of girls like weird shit, you'd be surprised.
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
January 26, 2012, 09:42:39 PM
#36
I want to make clear that I think the above is only an hypothesis. It is a logical explanation, but the truth can only be figured out by testing it. I personally think the proponents of sub-clinical candidiasis are full of shit because they do not acknowledge that. Also my brother was into that and showed me a video of one of the bigshot proponents and he claimed to show "yeast in the blood" when I could clearly see it as an air bubble caught in between the slide and the coverslip. There were other scammy aspects to it as well. As you can see from my post above, if you know a little about biology it is possible to come up with all sorts of logical, sciency sounding narratives.

Go to a doctor, and be prepared to describe to them what is going on concisely. Also, although you are not an expert, you know much more about it than them. Propose various theories such as what I have provided. BUT, keep in mind most doctors are not experts in everything, so do not trust blindly. Think about it like asking directions. If I am lost in an unfamiliar place, I usually ask until at least 3 people agree on which direction to go before trusting it. I would treat a doctors recommendation the same way.
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
January 26, 2012, 09:33:12 PM
#35
So, for what its worth, right now here is my hypothesis:

You are a naturally emotional person, and have an especially strong reaction to stress. You were put in a very stressful environment for a sustained period, associated with insects and infestation. It is well known that there is a strong interplay between the brain, stress hormones, and the immune system. The skin and your mucus membranes are the main barrier between your body and the outside world, so a properly functioning immune system is crucial to skin health. You can look up "PTSD and skin problems" to see that it is a common complaint.

So stress -> aberrant immune system -> the various factors responsible for keeping your skin and and mucus membranes functioning properly are out of balance

This is leading to dried out, sensitive, inflamed skin. This can lead to the formation of various localized "autoimmune" reactions, etc which is leading to the random blistering and acne. Because it is dysregulated, your immune system is probably also mounting an excessive attack on the normal bacteria that lives on it and in your pores. Our skin is also constantly repairing and replenishing itself, this process is disturbed in your case due to the above mentioned factors. So you may be more easily injured than most people. So the blisters on your fingers, etc may be from you accidentally hurting yourself slightly without realizing it. The skin is then failing to repair itself properly. Perhaps you also have a thinner outer layer of skin, so your cutaneous receptors (touch sensors) are abnormally near the outside world, leading to extra sensitivity. If you are touching/picking at your skin more than usual it will also contribute to the inflammation in a process somewhat similar to the formation of pressure sores.

Your mind is trying to make sense of these sensations by relating them to your previously mentioned stressful experience with insects and filth. Normally our brains will desensitize to such stimuli over time, but your strong emotional reaction pushes it into your consciousness, so signals that should be filtered out by your thalamus (the sensory relay, or switchboard of your brain) are making it through.

Further, your skin is also responsible for producing your hair and secreting oils that wick up the strand to protect it. Your skin is inflamed so it is not producing enough oil to protect your hair. You may be bathing more than the usual person as a response to the above problems, because it provides you with temporary relief. Unfortunately this is having the unintended side effect of further drying out your skin and hair. This unprotected hair is unusually susceptible to high pH water and soap/detergents found in shampoo. The bonds that holds the main component of your hair (keratin) together are called disulphide bonds. These are broken by high pH solutions. An example of this is the straight, thinner hair that results from perms.

You also probably have some social anxiety which is feeding back on the stress response in a vicious cycle.

So stress -> aberrant immune system -> inflamed skin and mucus membranes -> unusual sensations + unprotected hair -> perception of a parasite infestation and weak, thinning hair.

The root cause here is stress... so anti-anxiety, anti-depression meds may help. But these are usually expensive and have their own side effects. Obviously there are also non-pharmaceutical therapies you can try such as cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, exercise, a fulfilling  job or hobby, etc.

The second factor is inflammation. Anti-inflammatory medications may help, however, these also come with their own side effects. A healthy diet and exercise will also often help to reduce hyperinflammation.

You can keep your skin from drying out by covering it with a layer of oil, such as found in lotions. However, since it may already be inflamed I would worry somewhat about developing a reaction to the lotion. Likewise with using conditioner on your hair. You can also try getting a water softening shower head.

I don't expect your problem is due to an actual parasite or anything like that, but on the outside chance it is you would be advised to do as BrightAnarchist says and go to an actual doctor. Really you should go to a doctor no matter what because it is clear you are having problems, whether psychological or not.
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