You're putting words in my mouth. Who says I have a carefree attitude? I care for other people the same as I would if I were religious. I just don't feel a need to compel them to believe what I believe. I won't respond to anything concerning heaven and hell and "what ifs" because those don't exist.
Just because you believe something is true doesn't make it true.
If you're getting wet, it doesn't matter what you say. You believe what is happening to you based on your observations. You can't convince yourself it's not raining when it is anymore you can convince me there is a god when there isn't. (See, I'm now dropping the pretense and responding with the same conviction in my truths as you are.)
You don't choose to believe. You choose to accept him as your god, but you don't choose to believe he exists for the same reason you don't believe it's not raining when it is. You can deny it's raining just as you can deny your god as your savior, but you can't force yourself to believe something you don't believe. You believe what you believe based on your life experiences. So you believe in your god, but you choose to accept him for all the reasons you've already stated about eternal punishment and so on. You have to accept him as your savior, otherwise you know you will be punished for all eternity, because that's what the church has taught you. That's your absolute truth, even though I know it's wrong.