Sep. Joke contest WIN up to 5$ - page 2.

raganius

sr. member

Activity: 308

Merit: 250

Quote from: libivan on September 26, 2014, 03:16:26 AM

By the way...

Batman and Robin were coming back from a party.

Both drunk, but Batman was much worse. Batman was so drunk that he decided to ask Robin to drive the Batmobile back home.

Excited to have this first opportunity to drive such a nice car, Robin sits in front of the steering wheel, puts his hand on the gear stick, puts the first gear and takes off smooth.

He shifts to the second gear, increases speed, shifts to the third, and to the forth gear, and drives through a curve at more than 70mph.

The car skids, so he reduces driving speed, stepping on the brakes, but regains control, he shifts back to the third gear, and so they went.

As soon as they arrived at the Batcave, Robin parks the car so proudly. Then, batman asks:

— Robin, give me a kiss?

— Hey Batman! Are you crazy? Who do you think I am?

— Oh, c'mon, don't complicate things! You know quite well that the Batmobile has got automatic transmission!

+1 nice one lol

libivan

full member

Activity: 210

Merit: 100

By the way...

Batman and Robin were coming back from a party.

Both drunk, but Batman was much worse. Batman was so drunk that he decided to ask Robin to drive the Batmobile back home.

Excited to have this first opportunity to drive such a nice car, Robin sits in front of the steering wheel, puts his hand on the gear stick, puts the first gear and takes off smooth.

He shifts to the second gear, increases speed, shifts to the third, and to the forth gear, and drives through a curve at more than 70mph.

The car skids, so he reduces driving speed, stepping on the brakes, but regains control, he shifts back to the third gear, and so they went.

As soon as they arrived at the Batcave, Robin parks the car so proudly. Then, batman asks:

— Robin, give me a kiss?

— Hey Batman! Are you crazy? Who do you think I am?

— Oh, c'mon, don't complicate things! You know quite well that the Batmobile has got automatic transmission!

1GdwGhHvkV8eXB1JGAubAHQJwpbtCgk7tD Grin

CripLib

full member

Activity: 175

Merit: 100

Crypto Liberty

Quote from: twister on September 25, 2014, 07:14:03 AM

Quote from: gordoh on September 25, 2014, 07:03:13 AM

Superman was flying over metropolis one day, horney as hell, and suddenly he saw wonder woman suntanning naked on top of a building, and he thought to himself "I'd love to get me some of that wonder P*ssy!"

Suddenly he realized, he's superman, he can go do a little quick pumping and get out of there before she even realizes what happened. So superman swoops down, pumps as fast as he can and flies away.

Wonder woman jumps up and shouts "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???" and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me!"

Wallet address: 1F3VYE7oGqdbYDkXFGDWkrmJuiPRbDZYv5

I don't get it Huh

lol

gordoh

sr. member

Activity: 350

Merit: 250

Quote from: twister on September 25, 2014, 07:14:03 AM

Quote from: gordoh on September 25, 2014, 07:03:13 AM

Superman was flying over metropolis one day, horney as hell, and suddenly he saw wonder woman suntanning naked on top of a building, and he thought to himself "I'd love to get me some of that wonder P*ssy!"

Suddenly he realized, he's superman, he can go do a little quick pumping and get out of there before she even realizes what happened. So superman swoops down, pumps as fast as he can and flies away.

Wonder woman jumps up and shouts "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???" and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me!"

Wallet address: 1F3VYE7oGqdbYDkXFGDWkrmJuiPRbDZYv5

I don't get it Huh

The invisible man was having sex with wonder woman... And obviously superman didn't see him cos hes invisible.

CaptainTE

newbie

Activity: 13

Merit: 0

How do you sell a deaf man a chicken?
Lean in close, take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs:
WANNA BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?

BTC: 137yedPK92TUsjPSAQAFUgaWog96QJdtT1

I'll show myself out...

twister

hero member

Activity: 672

Merit: 502

Quote from: gordoh on September 25, 2014, 07:03:13 AM

Superman was flying over metropolis one day, horney as hell, and suddenly he saw wonder woman suntanning naked on top of a building, and he thought to himself "I'd love to get me some of that wonder P*ssy!"

Suddenly he realized, he's superman, he can go do a little quick pumping and get out of there before she even realizes what happened. So superman swoops down, pumps as fast as he can and flies away.

Wonder woman jumps up and shouts "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???" and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me!"

Wallet address: 1F3VYE7oGqdbYDkXFGDWkrmJuiPRbDZYv5

I don't get it Huh

gordoh

sr. member

Activity: 350

Merit: 250

Superman was flying over metropolis one day, horney as hell, and suddenly he saw wonder woman suntanning naked on top of a building, and he thought to himself "I'd love to get me some of that wonder P*ssy!"

Suddenly he realized, he's superman, he can go do a little quick pumping and get out of there before she even realizes what happened. So superman swoops down, pumps as fast as he can and flies away.

Wonder woman jumps up and shouts "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???" and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole is killing me!"

Wallet address: 1F3VYE7oGqdbYDkXFGDWkrmJuiPRbDZYv5

rivoke

legendary

Activity: 924

Merit: 1006

The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.

14sArAJ7UJcZ1yfit16yogcCex2hjDy2hy

Swordsoffreedom

legendary

Activity: 2884

Merit: 1115

Leading Crypto Sports Betting & Casino Platform

What's the difference between a blind man using a map and a truckload of BFL Jalapeños?

The blind man has a chance of finding a block.

PM me in 2 weeks^TM

twister

hero member

Activity: 672

Merit: 502

The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday. If the student got it right they would not have to go to school on Monday. Little Johnny Was determined to answer correctly. So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet. All of a sudden she Shouted out, "Who's the comedian with the black balls?". Johnny shouted out, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday suckas!".

1FeWC9i1riDXeQMqf2MJGf1k1MwNCak36B

CripLib

full member

Activity: 175

Merit: 100

Crypto Liberty

Aren't we supposed to vote?

Of course my joke was the best Grin

but I am not allowed to vote on my own joke Cry

So, my vote goes to:

Quote from: llanillo on September 17, 2014, 11:28:15 AM

+1

Fiiasco

full member

Activity: 224

Merit: 100

Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. (finish this joke in your head)

171e1ivvbNhxykmDRhUN6XxgMtdXwsmBbg

sir.humus

hero member

Activity: 700

Merit: 500

I save contacts on my phone in Memento style:

David - Don't believe his lies
Robert - Cheated you in the past
Monic - Will sleep with you out of compassion

address:122LJenypFR1XTsuQjrycds8nyuXdkLwGa

prodigy8

hero member

Activity: 532

Merit: 500

THE DOCTOR

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’ Cheesy

roadbits

legendary

Activity: 1092

Merit: 1000

THE BIGGEST LIE

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Thekool1s

legendary

Activity: 1512

Merit: 1218

Change is in your hands

I hope 18+ Jokes are allowed too:

Here is a translation of a joke which i know.

A wife is doing sex with her boyfriend. Suddenly her Husband Comes, She hides her boyfriend in the freezer and closes it but the ball of her boyfriend gets stuck in the door. Husband Sees the balls and asks what are those? Wife says its just a bell! Grin

. The Husband goes there and touches the ball nothing happens. Then he punches the balls Grin

again nothing happens. Then he brings a hammer and smashes the balls. Then a Voice from Freezer comes "Tring(Bell sound) MotherFucker! Tring"! Grin

I hope the joke is funny in english too as it is funny in our local language.

my btc addy: 1A9H6pMR1V1ZagYvDKDCpSBueRaNvP6BHv

cookiemonsterwhat

sr. member

Activity: 252

Merit: 250

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment.

19LXAEKq7dXf55noccsvigCUwkSxCMwx1h

ndnh

legendary

Activity: 1302

Merit: 1005

New Decentralized Nuclear Hobbit

One Irish potato said to the other: i am going to change my nationality.
The other one: How?
First potato: I am going to be French fries Cheesy

_owowo_

newbie

Activity: 9

Merit: 0

What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?

The pessimist says: "Everything is so bad! It can not get any worse!"

The optimist says: "Yes. It can!"

1HgPJmHLWiKEtD8Xyka9E8ZZm47xfAXauS

TheButterZone

legendary

Activity: 3038

Merit: 1032

RIP Mommy

In the year 2016, a gun control advocate and his machine gun-wielding "bodyguards" walk into a bar.

Everyone else runs out the back door, except the bartender, who unlocks the cash register and safe, then eats his own gun before he can be executed.

The gun control advocate sneers "thanks for paying your taxes" as he bags the cash, then waves his hand, so the "bodyguards" machine gun the wall of liquor, after which they all turn to leave, the bar erupts into flames, and burns down shortly thereafter.

In 2024, that gun control advocate is "elected" president of the United States.

1BUTRZ85L1JuoX5y2XRjxJaYcjcMLhPJcY

Topic: Sep. Joke contest WIN up to 5$ - page 2. (Read 4050 times)