An elderly man goes to the doctor and complains:
- Doctor, I'm eighty years old, but I still find myself chasing young girls.
The doctor laughs and says:
- Congratulations, sir!
The elderly man looks up at the doctor very seriously and says:
- I just can't remember why.
Topic: Totally Off-Topic! - page 8. (Read 104868 times)
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Anybody else enjoys tons of butter on their toasts 
Each slice of butter adds another mm to your butt.
Is it worth it?
alot butter
I am so beat, I need a vacation...
Anybody else enjoys tons of butter on their toasts
Each slice of butter adds another mm to your butt.
Is it worth it?
Anybody else enjoys tons of butter on their toasts
Not tons, but enough, then fold it, then dip it into a fresh cup of coffee. Come to think of it, that's exactly what I'm goin' do now. Thanks for the idea, bud. Dilemma! 2 or 4 slices?
EDIT: It was 4. Now, I'm enjoying the buttery coffee, having a smoke, and taking a shit.
Anybody else enjoys tons of butter on their toasts
A woman goes to a psychiatrist. She is very disturbed.
- She says, Doctor, what am I to do? My husband is acting very strangely.
The psychiatrist has the woman sit down. He asks her:
- What is your husband doing?
The woman says:
- Every time he drinks coffee, he eats the cup leaving only the handle.
The psychiatrist puts down his pen and rubs his beard. He looks her in the eye and says:
- Ihat is very strange indeed. The handle is the best part.
- She says, Doctor, what am I to do? My husband is acting very strangely.
The psychiatrist has the woman sit down. He asks her:
- What is your husband doing?
The woman says:
- Every time he drinks coffee, he eats the cup leaving only the handle.
The psychiatrist puts down his pen and rubs his beard. He looks her in the eye and says:
- Ihat is very strange indeed. The handle is the best part.
...
- What is your husband doing?
The woman says:
- Every time he eats my pussy, he doesn't lick my ass.
...
- ... Licking ass is the best part.
A woman goes to a psychiatrist. She is very disturbed.
- She says, Doctor, what am I to do? My husband is acting very strangely.
The psychiatrist has the woman sit down. He asks her:
- What is your husband doing?
The woman says:
- Every time he drinks coffee, he eats the cup leaving only the handle.
The psychiatrist puts down his pen and rubs his beard. He looks her in the eye and says:
- Ihat is very strange indeed. The handle is the best part.
- She says, Doctor, what am I to do? My husband is acting very strangely.
The psychiatrist has the woman sit down. He asks her:
- What is your husband doing?
The woman says:
- Every time he drinks coffee, he eats the cup leaving only the handle.
The psychiatrist puts down his pen and rubs his beard. He looks her in the eye and says:
- Ihat is very strange indeed. The handle is the best part.
Two German spies entering a London bar.
- Remember - not a word in German, - one says.
(to a barman)
- Brah, get us two Martini plz
- Dry Martini? - the barman asks.
- Warum drei? Zwei.
- Remember - not a word in German, - one says.
(to a barman)
- Brah, get us two Martini plz
- Dry Martini? - the barman asks.
- Warum drei? Zwei.
A band of British spies walk into a German bar.
- Remember - not a word in English, - one says.
(to a barman)
- (in German) Do you have a table large enough to accommodate our party?
- How many in your party and have you been here before? - the German barman asks.
- Nine and no... I mean neun and nein.
- Counterintelligence officers drink free. - said the barman. - To be frank, you nailed the British accent.
Two German spies entering a London bar.
- Remember - not a word in German, - one says.
(to a barman)
- Brah, get us two Martini plz
- Dry Martini? - the barman asks.
- Warum drei? Zwei.
- Remember - not a word in German, - one says.
(to a barman)
- Brah, get us two Martini plz
- Dry Martini? - the barman asks.
- Warum drei? Zwei.
As you dream your beautiful dreams
He is the one who turns them to nightmares:
Shadow of his minatory being
Haunts you like a neverending fear of dying
He is all there ever will be in the end
He is pain yet still desirable
He is the one who turns them to nightmares:
Shadow of his minatory being
Haunts you like a neverending fear of dying
He is all there ever will be in the end
He is pain yet still desirable
How long was you been in contract with my ex-wife?
As you dream your beautiful dreams
He is the one who turns them to nightmares:
Shadow of his minatory being
Haunts you like a neverending fear of dying
He is all there ever will be in the end
He is pain yet still desirable
He is the one who turns them to nightmares:
Shadow of his minatory being
Haunts you like a neverending fear of dying
He is all there ever will be in the end
He is pain yet still desirable
Samuel Shenton walks into a bar.
Bartender: What'll be, Mack?
Samuel: Flats for everybody!
Bartender: What'll be, Mack?
Samuel: Flats for everybody!
I guess I went off the deep end when I included the above in this thread.
In high school I learned about two oxides of carbon, CO (the locally bad one) and CO2 (the globally bad one). A third one, C3O2, was briefly mentioned in high school and in college. Only recently I learned that there are in fact infinitely many carbon oxides or oxocarbons, some of them just as stable as the common ones, many of them with beautiful symmetric molecules -- and some of them known since the 19th century. Many more relatively simple ones surely remain to be discovered. There are also many oxocarbon anions consisting only of carbon and oxygen -- besides carbonate CO32- and oxalate C2O42-, the only ones I knew until a few years ago. There is even one (mellitate) that forms a natural gemstone, honeystone, perhaps the only gemstone that has organic carbon (organic both in the sense of having a non-trivial carbon-carbon skeleton, and also in the sense of being derived from chemicals of biological origin in peat bogs). I haven't found any minimally stable oxocarbon cations, however; perhaps they could be construed using oxygen atoms in the +1 state, that are trivalent, if they could be buried inside an oxocarbon cage. (This trivalent O+ moiety does occur in carbon monoxide, which is better described as −C≡O+.)
Dude, I developed a mole reading your post.
In high school I learned about two oxides of carbon, CO (the locally bad one) and CO2 (the globally bad one). A third one, C3O2, was briefly mentioned in high school and in college. Only recently I learned that there are in fact infinitely many carbon oxides or oxocarbons, some of them just as stable as the common ones, many of them with beautiful symmetric molecules -- and some of them known since the 19th century. Many more relatively simple ones surely remain to be discovered. There are also many oxocarbon anions consisting only of carbon and oxygen -- besides carbonate CO32- and oxalate C2O42-, the only ones I knew until a few years ago. There is even one (mellitate) that forms a natural gemstone, honeystone, perhaps the only gemstone that has organic carbon (organic both in the sense of having a non-trivial carbon-carbon skeleton, and also in the sense of being derived from chemicals of biological origin in peat bogs). I haven't found any minimally stable oxocarbon cations, however; perhaps they could be construed using oxygen atoms in the +1 state, that are trivalent, if they could be buried inside an oxocarbon cage. (This trivalent O+ moiety does occur in carbon monoxide, which is better described as −C≡O+.)
Samuel Shenton walks into a bar.
Bartender: What'll be, Mack?
Samuel: Flats for everybody!
Bartender: What'll be, Mack?
Samuel: Flats for everybody!
I`m very sleepy, i think i`ll go sleeping soon 
Waiting for the customers to leave so I can close up...
Updates? What happened next! 
"Did somebody just say pancake?"
not only people use chicken and other feathered female birds to satisfy their sexual needs, but sometimes lions too. It is rare, but a hybrid may survive such
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