I get that, and I feel for you, their antics have to be disheartening. I don't have an answer.
I have become increasingly agnostic on blocksize in a purely philosophical sense. I recognize that there are bad actors on both sides with vested interests and I have been working to immunize myself against their propaganda and name calling.
This is NOT to say that I am in any way ready to throw in with either of the current train wreck forks, though I will now don my flamesuit prophylactically given the current venue.
One can only hope that the free market of ideas will allow a really workable solution to rise to the top.