I think I'm an outlier. If I have 100 merit in 30 days, I'll eat all my words and post a vid of me masturbating to a merit infographic
Hello, Alia, you sly
meretrix. When I first saw this thread, I thought to challenge you on a friendly wager for which of us would reach 100 merit first—or to make it interesting, on double stakes, for which of us would reach 200 first. Given the splash you made with a two-day-old account, I expected that surely, I would
see you here with us other “outliers” someday. Yet now, I must call on you to do your duty in making the forum great again. For unto you is the destiny of becoming an historic forum first: The first-ever and only user to perform public sexual favours after losing what was effectually a bet against her own posting prowess.
Alas, you’ve been slacking off. Though you made an earnest start, your rate of earning merit has dropped off sharply; and the days now fly by as we approach the 30-day deadline of
2018-03-01 00:52:43 UTC. Bad girl.
Now, as of the moment I post this, I have exactly 48 sMerit—all legitimately earned by me through meritorious posting, and as yet unspent (unlike the 145 merits I have already distributed to others). By astonishing coincidence, you have 52 merit. My current sMerit and your merit sum to exactly 100; thus, I
could force you to honour your word with a single click. The thought itself is less pleasing to me than my ability to tease you about it: For as a vocal defender of the merit system’s integrity, I shall do no such thing. I send
outlandish amounts of merit in one shot only to Core developers.
Wherefore I have spent several hours of my time combing your post history, searching for posts I deem
meritorious. From that list, I’ll be slowly dripping merit on you. It will total only a limited amount. You will get more from me if you make new meritorious posts. I’ll be watching.
I will not link to the posts I chose. Those who are curious may watch
my merit history page; but I don’t wish to set up any specific posts as “click here to send the hot girl merit” targets for less thoughtful readers. Rather, I will generally describe the types of Alia posts which merit my attention:
- Cogent posts of moderate length about Bitcoin, money, monetary policy, and the social-political implications of these things. I don’t agree with all your arguments, but they are well-made. These are the primary type of “new user” posts through which the merit system should divide the wheat from the tares. You made several—a few weeks ago. I encourage you to make more.
- Scam warnings for newbies. You made some of those as a newbie, which is impressive. Better still, in one case, you disposed of scammer pretenses with a sarcastic quip. Dry, withering contempt cracked as a one-line whip: That made me smile.
- More generally, posts which bared an exquisite wit. Alia, o Alia, whatever will entice you to expose that more, more oft? Words worthy of ogling: We need more of those.
- A post which mocked Quickseller, the Bitcoin Forum’s resident Iago. We definitely need more of those.
- A post which advertised your erotic services on the basis that you’re “a crypto enthusiast and expert—something rare for camgirls”. Though I doubt your expertise draws more customers than your other assets, I myself like your style.
- A post questioning how to teach children about Bitcoin—I presume, forward-looking. So, you are not a mere hedonist: You’re a real person, whatever unknowns may lie behind your forum persona; and you broach topics (plus raise concerns) people should contemplate. (You made a newbie mistake by creating a duplicate thread, not realizing you could move your original thread to the correct forum; but that’s no big deal, when you were a Newbie.)
- Miscellaneous other bits which made me think, We need more posts like this. We need more people like this.
Alia, the forum needs for you to lose your bet against yourself—and not simply for the promised payout. Foremost, it needs those posts. Moreover, it needs for this story to reach its climax. Let Legendaries a few years hence reminisce over the legend of the girl who bet she couldn’t earn 100 merit in a month, and thus wound up publicly demonstrating a merit infographic fetish. For you, such a unique forum achievement would also come with bragging rights (just as I boast being only member of this forum who has ever received
+50 for a flame, as a cry from the one being burnt). Put out, but don’t let yourself down here!
Finally, I must make clear that I contemplate the foregoing with a certain level of detachment: For I am not one of your potential clients. That’s nothing personal; I don’t doubt that you must grace your clients with delectations worth every satoshi. Whereas I myself have never paid for that which I’ve always had for free, whenever I wanted it.
As with the process of earning forum merit, the trick to that is no secret: All things come to those who are wanted.
Thus to your service offerings, I will make a counter-offer. Should you wish to experience hardcore literary cybersex, anatomically expressed at conversational speed in properly punctuated full sentences, then my special rate for you will be 0.005 BTC/hour. Given a counterparty who can keep up with me, my cyber sessions usually last an hour or two from foreplay through denoument. Also, should you desire an erotic pen pal, then my price for you is 0.01 BTC per letter—and I do mean
letter, in the old-fashioned sense. Some of my best erotic letters have taken many hours to compose; I consider them a form of art, and I take art seriously. If collected and published,
my secret epistolary relationships would make for genuine literature; but secrets wrapped in ciphers they shall remain, for I don’t kiss and tell.
My longstanding policy is to chat only via XMPP with OTR, though I may be willing to consider trying Tox; for correspondence, I require PGP mail—preferably with your elliptic curves, though I wouldn’t mind doing modular exponentiation with your pub
lic exponent. I expect that “a crypto enthusiast and expert” should be algorithmically aroused by the proposition of so much cryptography. Don’t just “trust the numbers”: Lust for the numbers! For my part, besides the thrill, I find that my reliance on old-school cypherpunk staples relieves me of certain concerns;
vide the Bitmessage vulnerability warning you currently see displayed at the top of this page.
This offer is open only to Alia, as identified by PGP and/or OTR fingerprints countersigned by
1Sexyb1p8byGxunfTfHvL9SXsWqHyEPVk. (If but only I touch your fingerprints, I’ll have your keys to new realms of passion.) For others, the
rates would be (much) higher; serious inquiries only, please.
For the record, I see reflected in your posts that there is more than meets the eye. But that’s not pertinent here. I am simply doing my own part to make the forum great sexier.