so i guess my question is about if bisq is safe to use? got quite a big stack of moneros i really dont want to risk losing
The base currency in Bisq is BTC, so there is no "home currency" acting as fuel (unlike other Decentralized EXchanges). I like this solution. When you buy BTC with XMR, the seller sends you BTC to a BTC wallet within Bisq (from which you control the private key, so it's really yours). Funds are locked in a multisig wallet until both parties confirm they received the funds. You can get more info at https://bisq.network/faq/ or make a small transaction to better understand the process.
It's not the perfect solution though as volume is low, it's slow and quite expensive. But I didn't find a good DEX for Monero. Of course, there are also Shapeshift and xmr.to which are private but still centralized.
Are you guys really trading XMR on centralized exchanges?? If not, what system are you using?
I don't really trade much anymore, I used to margin as it was fun but polo boned me one to many times and I don't trust Bitfinex and Kraken is in USD only and won't take my CC casue I'm not in the right country apparently. So all I usually do now is get BTC and buy XMR with it and try to hit the lows. I use polo until they demand KYC (I'm small potatoes) and Binance now and am looking forward to their decentralized Exchange.