Topic: Choosing between your relationship and gambling. - page 4. (Read 329 times)

First, I will say that this is a very small issue, and it boils down to understanding, because in as much as most people gambles irresponsibly to the point of selling personal belongings just to satisfy their gambling urge, we have got few others who only gambles for pleasure & fun, and most especially sport lovers, as that's the only way through which they derive their joy.
So what I will personally advise is for your cousin to sit his girlfriend down and try to make her understand that in as much as he gambles once in a while, that it's equally been an extra source of income for him, and he is a responsible gamble who loves her and values there relationship, and as such will always place her first before any other gambling needs.
Because gambling shouldn't be a reason why a man let go of his relationship with someone he love, as every issue can always be settled through meaningful conversation.

Both make good points actually, but are innately wrong at their own right as well. For instance, your cousin doesn't have to gamble religiously, even if he's what you can consider as someone who's a responsible gambler. Dishing out hundreds of dollars on a regular basis all for gambling is a little detrimental especially when it stockpiles, so I can see why the girl is concerned that your cousin might've been addicted already. In any case, the woman is also making a valid point here, although It is worth noting that for instance, the girl is actively controlling your cousin's life. This is not a good sign of a woman that you'd want to stay with for the rest of your life, as you'd find yourself eventually wrapped around her finger controlled by her every directive with no active motivation of your own. Also, she's speaking from a previous experience, which is not to say that she could be right, but is something that's giving the idea of someone who's traumatized in one way or another.

All in all, I'd have the two people discuss this matter clear-headed and with no biases involved. If they wish to carry on with the relationship, few compromises must be made by both parties. If they decided to part ways, that works too.

After thinking about it for a while I think the same, she is overreacting about the whole situation, if the cousin of the OP had a gambling problem this kind of ultimatum could make sense, but it seems that he is just like us, a person that enjoys gambling once in a while and nothing more, the fiance could have dealt with this in a more adult manner by talking to the cousin about it and discuss about the possibility of dropping his gambling hobby as a way to save money for the wedding or the kids they may have, but instead she immediately tried to leverage their relationship against the cousin and use it on her favor, and in my experience relationships like that never last, as the person making use of blackmail will keep doing so over and over again.

Why does she care so much? A year sounds like a very quick engagement too but what does she want him to do with the money instead?

If he had no other use for the money, gambling with it might not be too bad a thing if he's got a good paying job anyway. Taking himself away from gambling too would be much healthier than having someone else make him do it.

It sounds like she's in it mostly for the money (that could just be how you've worded it but it does sounds like she's a problem).

Tell your cousin to stay away from that girl. 
They are not married yet but she acts like she lost everything. If she had not discovered those emails, she wouldn't be overreacting though.

However, she already wants your cousin to choose which. It gets worse if she could successfully makes your cousin choose her. This is capitalizing on your cousin's feeling over her. It's not gonna be surprising one day you might not be able to hang out with your cousin anymore because she says so.

There's currently a heated issue between an older cousin of mine and his fiancee, it's a gambling related issue that's now looking like a threat to their relationship. Here's what happened;

My cousin as I know has been an active gambler for as long as I could remember and he's one person that gamble responsibly as he takes it as something that's part of a side hustling and nothing more and he added that the winning streaks he has been getting has really been supportive to him financially too. I get to know this cause that's what he told me when I asked him why does he have to engage in online gambling when he has a good paying job. The disturbing issue here is that a day ago his fiancee whom both have been dating for about a year now, she for the first time had access into his mail and discovered lots of email messages both previous and current from the particular gambling sites he has a gambling account with and her awareness of this has made her to ask my cousin to either chose between quiting from engaging in any form of gambling or ending their relationship.
Her reasons is because she has this brother that's into gambling and his gambling habit has led to him selling off important properties of his and some that belongs to the whole family just to meet up with his uncontrollable gambling urge. And this experience scares her to death having anything to do with anyone she notice that engages in gambles activities especially for someone she's in a serious relationship with, that she can't deal with such reality.

I'll really appreciate to have you share some advise on what decision to take if you were to find yourself in this my cousin shoe. For It's been a difficult moment for him this past two days as he has  been thinking of the financial support he at times get from the gambling wins and at same time his fiancee too.