It makes sense to limit spanking as a deterrent anyway. I never questioned that. What I'm saying is that the use of corporeal punishment as a parenting tool is not criminal, not automaticly abuse, not a violation of their human rights, and between myself & my wife (and the state, in the case of foster care children). Neither Myrkul, nor anyone else, has any say in that, no matter what he might think of it.
Yeah, I'm not disagreeing with you there. I'm just encouraging you not to spank your children because I don't think it is a good idea.
Consider me encouraged. Again, spanking is a very rarely used method in my household. Particularly these days, since the only three children in the household that are still younger than the age of reason are foster kids, two of whom are in the foster care system because of severe physical abuse (which, at a minimum, renders spanking ineffective) and the third is an infant who is physically incapable of getting into any trouble, since she can't even crawl yet. My two blood children are 10 and 12, and neither has been spanked in many years; although they still occasionally end up in the corner for fighting with one another. When the older of the two abused brothers first came to our house, at about 2 years old, he only had two emotional states, indifference and abject rage. My son, 8 at the time; was entirely unprepared for a little boy half his body weight to attack him like a pit bull. Yet, that is exactly what happened! In the first week, this two year old had bloodied and bruised an 8 year old boy who didn't believe that fighting back was kosher, because the boy was (less than, really) half his size. The two year old had finally bit my 8 year old son so hard, through a pair of jeans, there was a pretty fine image of his teeth in a blood blister. We had to explain to my son that we could not spank him, because we had made that agreement to the state, but that he had made no such agreement; and that he needed to defend himself. It took a few more good brawls before the 2 year old caught on to how things would go for him, but he got the message. Don't attack his new brother,
because he would get hurt doing it. This ended the reign of terror for my 8 year old, but things remain more difficult regarding that same kid and his own little brother. He is starting to toughen up, now days, and can give his older brother tis for tat, so I don't expect that to persist much longer; but at the time the little brother was barely one year old, and still crawling, and we were literally prohibited from excersising justice on his little brother's behalf by contract. I'm still not sure that it would have made much difference, considering that the 2 year old had experienced so much pain for no cause whatsoever, that he might not have been able to associate a spanking to his own behavior at all. (He actually has
physical scars, some on his face. I'm talking about
real abuse here) After all, that would imply an ability to reason at a very young age; too much to expect.