Lastly, I deposit 1800$ to have a better bankroll again, This time I’m betting like a high roller and lucky manage to recover my losses and bag 150$ profit.
You are indeed lucky, because this is just the way people start to gamble with small amount of money and later go for bigger amount like your savings or all the money that you have with you. What will later end it is the person finding himself that he got no money again as all has been used to gamble. Just quit gambling for now to have a better mindset. Do not go more than your gambling budget anymore, because you are lucky today, tomorrow may be very different.
I feel the real intensity of my mistake after I withdraw my funds. My hand is shaking and I think my flu come back again due to intense game. I just recently received my yearly bonus and other incentives at work that’s why I’m very confident on playing huge amount.
I can’t imagine what will I deposit when I still lose my 1800$ because I still have remaining balance on my bank account this time. I learned a lot of lesson today. Even a casual gambler can still commit a mistake like addicted gambler does when in dire situation.
Yes although we basically if we are adrift and have a sense of revenge or ambition to want back what we have lost in the casino it will make ourselves further in to continue playing, and consciously unconsciously it will make us lose control of ourselves sir, everything you have ever built principles in your gambling, and I am quite sure that you have been in the position of being a responsible gambler before, but certain situations you lose that principle that makes you lose more in gambling.
I think this is a normal thing to happen, inconsistency in your own mindset will make you lose so much money, but I am grateful that you feel you can get a lesson on this issue, and I think it will be your hardest blow this year, I hope you can really be more mature in deciding something especially in gambling, you must be really wise sir.
Stop gambling for a while, if you want to survive, and stop having thoughts that you want to get the $1800 that you have lost in gambling today, you should also be less active with the internet and focus more on your health.