My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.
Nice story, I really enjoyed. I have also a friend who is regular gambler and I also visited with him for many times, but I just look out and never gamble because I have no experience of gambling. I have never seen him winning big money and took it to home, he always lost and not only he but all other gambler also lost money. Only the owner of the place collects money.
Topic: Life with a Gambler - Solution! - page 7. (Read 1235 times)
A real time torture. I remember far back in higher institution having a gambler as a roommate. He goes out in the night, comes back later drunk, tired and angry saying rubbish like he will never try to gamble in his life again, how he has lost all and so many other bull shit, only to go back in the next few days after getting hold of some money.
Good thing he eventually came around but it took a whole lot of work even on my own part to see that get done, most especially when he begged that he needed help. It is not an easy thing for them too even though it was their fault they let it get to that extent in the first place.
Good thing he eventually came around but it took a whole lot of work even on my own part to see that get done, most especially when he begged that he needed help. It is not an easy thing for them too even though it was their fault they let it get to that extent in the first place.
That's exactly the same as having a drunkard for a roommate. They are getting wasted, puking all over the place, waking up in the morning hungover and all sad and converted. They'll never drink again, not a drop! Then you casually ask them if they want a beer a couple days later, the answer is still the same - no, they're not drinking ever again. Then, a month later you find them sleeping wasted by the door. There's no moderation with those guys. It's either all or nothing. An addicted gambler will play like that. When he starts losing he'll take a loan, borrow from friends and bet his watch.
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
No family - no family meltdowns - no problem! You're right.
There's really no way to live with a compulsive gambler. He'll be throwing tantrums all the time and going from one extreme to another. One day he'll win and he'll take you to dinner with flowers, movies whatever and when he loses he'll either get enraged or will visit the bar and come back looking like a beggar. Living with an addict of any kind is like a torture.
Good thing he eventually came around but it took a whole lot of work even on my own part to see that get done, most especially when he begged that he needed help. It is not an easy thing for them too even though it was their fault they let it get to that extent in the first place.
My questions are:
Do you have the same problem at home?
If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?
If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?
Thank you!
I don't have any problem at home and I don't think that gambling is a "hidden disease" because as long as we can control ourselves in the gambling, we are not potential to be an addicting person. but if I have this problem, maybe I will find somebody in my family and I will tell that person that I have a problem with gambling and I really need his/her help to solve this. I am sure that if we really want to get out from gambling, he/she will give some help and always give a suggestion to us so we can solve our problem with gambling.
Yes, that's why there are many people afraid to gamble because once they start playing definitely they will start making money in the beginning, this makes them invest more money in gambling. So it is always good to stay away from the gambling once after losing in gambling.
I don't consider gambling can be addicting but yes there are people out there who are very much into gambling, not a single day will pass without gambling. If you consider your self as addicted to gambling, you need the help of your loved ones to support and help you not to gamble anymore. I have a relative who was banned in a casino as per request of her husband.
Gambling is also one of the most addictive thing next to drink,smoke and porn addictions so we need to be careful while gambling.As you said if someone can't pass a day without gambling then he should realize that he is getting addicted and he need to get out now to live the remaining future better,still it is not going to be an easy thing.SO prevention is better than cure in gambling too.The solution to this has a self-limitation if you are going to a casino or gambling site.
I don't consider gambling can be addicting but yes there are people out there who are very much into gambling, not a single day will pass without gambling. If you consider your self as addicted to gambling, you need the help of your loved ones to support and help you not to gamble anymore. I have a relative who was banned in a casino as per request of her husband.
Gambling is also one of the most addictive thing next to drink,smoke and porn addictions so we need to be careful while gambling.As you said if someone can't pass a day without gambling then he should realize that he is getting addicted and he need to get out now to live the remaining future better,still it is not going to be an easy thing.SO prevention is better than cure in gambling too. Actually when gambler start to get addicted, the religion and the family environment able to recover them for fast rather than using hospital because gambler's mental is difficult to recover !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
Life with a gambler is very difficult. You will try your best to protect him from regular gambling but he will not quit gambling and this act will get you angry. I have no gambler friend because I know that these people will never listen you and will do what they want. So it is better not to make friendship with such people otherwise you will also lose your respect. Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
Although it seems to you that there are no solutions, I assure you that your answer is within your reach. The answer to the question of what you should do cannot be given to you by your friends, families or even experts, but only by yourself.
What I can tell you is that you can not influence the will of your loved one to solve the problem if he/her ever thinks he has it. The behavior of the loved one can certainly indicate that he/her is a gambling-dependent person. Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as - "hidden disease" because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms such as drug dependence or alcohol dependence. Compulsive gamblers usually deny or alleviate the problem, and they do everything that is in their power to hide their problem.
The gambling addiction is the type of impulse control disorders and because of that, the compulsive gamblers cannot control gambling impulse, even when they know how bad and harmful they are. The gambling problem can burden relationships, hinder responsibility at home and at work, and lead to a financial disaster. Although gambling addiction can be cured, every treatment is the key readiness of a person to admit to having a problem and wanting help.
In most cases, the relationship is burdened to such an extent that it also affects the health of the non-gambler in a relationship, and ultimately determines the further course of life that does not go in the desired direction. Blackmailing the loved one to terminate the addiction will not lead to the desired effect, nor the "forced" treatment will. If a loved one is not aware of at the moment that he/her has a problem that needs to be resolved, none of the above solutions will result in improvement.
It is important that you realize what you want and how well you are willing to neglect your own needs, wishes and priorities until your loved one feels he/her has a problem.
I suggest an honest conversation with the loved one, without condemnation and blackmail, which will show you in what way is he/her looking at his/her own problem, and then comes your decision about the further course of the relationship: the willingness to fight with the uncertain end, or the decision to continue your life course in the other direction.
To all of you with the same problem, I wish a lot of luck and courage!
My questions are:
Do you have the same problem at home?
If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?
If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?
Thank you!
What I can tell you is that you can not influence the will of your loved one to solve the problem if he/her ever thinks he has it. The behavior of the loved one can certainly indicate that he/her is a gambling-dependent person. Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as - "hidden disease" because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms such as drug dependence or alcohol dependence. Compulsive gamblers usually deny or alleviate the problem, and they do everything that is in their power to hide their problem.
The gambling addiction is the type of impulse control disorders and because of that, the compulsive gamblers cannot control gambling impulse, even when they know how bad and harmful they are. The gambling problem can burden relationships, hinder responsibility at home and at work, and lead to a financial disaster. Although gambling addiction can be cured, every treatment is the key readiness of a person to admit to having a problem and wanting help.
In most cases, the relationship is burdened to such an extent that it also affects the health of the non-gambler in a relationship, and ultimately determines the further course of life that does not go in the desired direction. Blackmailing the loved one to terminate the addiction will not lead to the desired effect, nor the "forced" treatment will. If a loved one is not aware of at the moment that he/her has a problem that needs to be resolved, none of the above solutions will result in improvement.
It is important that you realize what you want and how well you are willing to neglect your own needs, wishes and priorities until your loved one feels he/her has a problem.
I suggest an honest conversation with the loved one, without condemnation and blackmail, which will show you in what way is he/her looking at his/her own problem, and then comes your decision about the further course of the relationship: the willingness to fight with the uncertain end, or the decision to continue your life course in the other direction.
To all of you with the same problem, I wish a lot of luck and courage!
My questions are:
Do you have the same problem at home?
If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?
If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?
Thank you!
some of them are not problems at all. they happen.
let him have fun. it's not a huge deal
I don't consider gambling can be addicting but yes there are people out there who are very much into gambling, not a single day will pass without gambling. If you consider your self as addicted to gambling, you need the help of your loved ones to support and help you not to gamble anymore. I have a relative who was banned in a casino as per request of her husband.
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
As many gambler I have seen in my life have been disrespected even by their families. They cannot fulfill their needs because they lose all their money in gambling and have nothing left for their families. I hate gamblers therefore I have no gambler friend. If you continue friendship with gamblers you will also start gambling one day. Better to leave their society.I don't know why gambling is portrayed negatively everywhere. There are people who made big fortunes from casinos. It's all about patience, control and mainly the ability to control our greed. Someone who gamble his/her life savings is an idiot anyway. Always play with what we can afford to lose. We are paying to watch movies, play games and for other entertainment purposes. So, see it as an entertainment platform. Have the mindset to accept your losses.
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
As many gambler I have seen in my life have been disrespected even by their families. They cannot fulfill their needs because they lose all their money in gambling and have nothing left for their families. I hate gamblers therefore I have no gambler friend. If you continue friendship with gamblers you will also start gambling one day. Better to leave their society.I don't know why gambling is portrayed negatively everywhere. There are people who made big fortunes from casinos. It's all about patience, control and mainly the ability to control our greed. Someone who gamble his/her life savings is an idiot anyway. Always play with what we can afford to lose. We are paying to watch movies, play games and for other entertainment purposes. So, see it as an entertainment platform. Have the mindset to accept your losses.
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
As many gambler I have seen in my life have been disrespected even by their families. They cannot fulfill their needs because they lose all their money in gambling and have nothing left for their families. I hate gamblers therefore I have no gambler friend. If you continue friendship with gamblers you will also start gambling one day. Better to leave their society. I use to tell most people who want to join gambling that 'if you are not psychological stable or strong, don't bother going into gambling. It's painful and frustrating to drag your love ones into the mess you create for yourself when gambling. Like OP has said, it's really a silent killer and you care about should not suffer because of your greed.
Yeah that's right, I have a friend and he has an unstable psychology, I mean he always focuses on something he wants even if he really likes what he wants then everything he has done before just a moment will he forgeten. Until now he gambled without time and even he forgot the needs of his family. This is the worst situation experienced by a gambler, and I am concerned about it.
Actually when gambler start to get addicted, the religion and the family environment able to recover them for fast rather than using hospital because gambler's mental is difficult to recover !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
The gambling is addiction to most of the people but if we realize our family situation and our future then we may don't get too much interested in the gambling the only people who hate life or just alone or have money which has no purpose for now will attract attention towards the gambling.Even though we didn't win any big rewards we will hope to win that on someday.Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
I use to tell most people who want to join gambling that 'if you are not psychological stable or strong, don't bother going into gambling. It's painful and frustrating to drag your love ones into the mess you create for yourself when gambling. Like OP has said, it's really a silent killer and you care about should not suffer because of your greed.
Yeah that's right, I have a friend and he has an unstable psychology, I mean he always focuses on something he wants even if he really likes what he wants then everything he has done before just a moment will he forgeten. Until now he gambled without time and even he forgot the needs of his family. This is the worst situation experienced by a gambler, and I am concerned about it.Actually when gambler start to get addicted, the religion and the family environment able to recover them for fast rather than using hospital because gambler's mental is difficult to recover !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
The gambling is addiction to most of the people but if we realize our family situation and our future then we may don't get too much interested in the gambling the only people who hate life or just alone or have money which has no purpose for now will attract attention towards the gambling.Even though we didn't win any big rewards we will hope to win that on someday.Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
No family - no family meltdowns - no problem! You're right.
There's really no way to live with a compulsive gambler. He'll be throwing tantrums all the time and going from one extreme to another. One day he'll win and he'll take you to dinner with flowers, movies whatever and when he loses he'll either get enraged or will visit the bar and come back looking like a beggar. Living with an addict of any kind is like a torture.
Usually when a gambler gets to gamble a lot and start to lose all his money to gambling and if he has a family than there the problems start. I have never seen someone gamble away their life savings and not have a family meltdown, mostly ending up in divorce. Gambling is the sport of single people. You can't have a family and gamble recklessly, there is no way. You have to be careful, even if you want to gamble, just gamble the money you are willing to lose and can afford to lose.
Actually when gambler start to get addicted, the religion and the family environment able to recover them for fast rather than using hospital because gambler's mental is difficult to recover !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
The gambling is addiction to most of the people but if we realize our family situation and our future then we may don't get too much interested in the gambling the only people who hate life or just alone or have money which has no purpose for now will attract attention towards the gambling.Even though we didn't win any big rewards we will hope to win that on someday. Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
Actually when gambler start to get addicted, the religion and the family environment able to recover them for fast rather than using hospital because gambler's mental is difficult to recover !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
Luckily, I'm never got addicted too much although I'm ever experience huge winning on the single bet on last world cup match final !
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