My mate just said to me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"
I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death,
the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."
ty: 152a6RyGsGnhxYSrZZyaJr99GvhvPkpF6j
Topic: Make me laugh for a bitcent - page 5. (Read 36201 times)
My mate just said to me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"
I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death,
the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."
ty: 152a6RyGsGnhxYSrZZyaJr99GvhvPkpF6j
It's ez to lol
A blonde, wanting to earn some Bitcoins, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 Bitcoins?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had
paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his
pocket for the 50 BTC's. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch,
it's a Ferrari."
Address: 17ud8nDvkQcTVWYXeN72Jurn48WiqYHFcr
A blonde, wanting to earn some Bitcoins, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 Bitcoins?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had
paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his
pocket for the 50 BTC's. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch,
it's a Ferrari."
Address: 17ud8nDvkQcTVWYXeN72Jurn48WiqYHFcr
Ok, I know this is a long one, but believe me, it will be worth your time. Just whatever you do,
DO NOT SKIP TO THE END OR IT WILL RUIN THE WHOLE JOKE
Anyways, here goes....
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
DO NOT SKIP TO THE END OR IT WILL RUIN THE WHOLE JOKE
Anyways, here goes....
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
wow, this is the story that gave birth to "tl;dr".
The joke is on anyone silly enough to spend 30 minutes reading the joke, like I did.
There is a video version of that joke at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuU612EcB64&feature=related
Ok, I know this is a long one, but believe me, it will be worth your time. Just whatever you do,
DO NOT SKIP TO THE END OR IT WILL RUIN THE WHOLE JOKE
Anyways, here goes....
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
DO NOT SKIP TO THE END OR IT WILL RUIN THE WHOLE JOKE
Anyways, here goes....
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[...]
wow, this is the story that gave birth to "tl;dr".
Why did the hipster burn his lip on a poptart
He ate it before it was cool
He ate it before it was cool
Why did the cow roll down the hill?
Because it had no legs.
---
1GW7wcK6SJo9JCyiHxQmbsaKPuFYgyJTCT
total lol 
I don't have a joke but, have you heard of unicycle hockey?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCjuszJmK2Q&feature=channel_video_title
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCjuszJmK2Q&feature=channel_video_title
I don't know how many of you shop at Costco, but if you do, please pay attention. I became a victim of a this scam while shopping there.
This happened to me and it could happen to you, too.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are putting your packages in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts practically falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then they take turns climbing over into the front seat and performing oral sex on you, and in the process one of them steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Friday, and also yesterday and if all goes well - tomorrow............
If you appreciate this warning, please shoot me some BTC at 13d8rZRsqDgdYNHeyLFaxiSUJmMJyVmZVW
This happened to me and it could happen to you, too.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are putting your packages in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts practically falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then they take turns climbing over into the front seat and performing oral sex on you, and in the process one of them steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Friday, and also yesterday and if all goes well - tomorrow............
If you appreciate this warning, please shoot me some BTC at 13d8rZRsqDgdYNHeyLFaxiSUJmMJyVmZVW
What is the difference between a garage with a corvette in it and a garage full of dead babies?
A) I dont have a corvette.
1FekH1LvStVB4dpDpXELPR68RRGLCjrZDL
A) I dont have a corvette.
1FekH1LvStVB4dpDpXELPR68RRGLCjrZDL
My sig:
Just gona leave this here for ya...
Make sure to read the OP in the pic before you scroll down!
http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/9823/vyegi.jpg
Make sure to read the OP in the pic before you scroll down!
http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/9823/vyegi.jpg
First photos of the Bitcoin Conference start to hit the web...
And the assigned seating chart can finally be revealed...
Bitcents sent. By the way, I don't currently have the time to read all of these. Tomorrow, I'll be reading every post from page 12 on, so if you have something good, try and post it by tomorrow.
True story from a Novell System Support Representative
caller: "Hello, Is this technical support ?"
Tech: "Yes, It is. How may I help you ?"
caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed ?"
Tech: "Did you say a cup-holder ? "
caller: "Yes! it is attached to the front of my computer tower"
Tech: "Did you receive this as part of a promotion or at a trade show?"
caller: "No, it came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotion, It just has 4X on it."
At this point the tech rep had to mute the caller because he was laughing too high. The caller had been using the drawer of CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
Bitcents sent. caller: "Hello, Is this technical support ?"
Tech: "Yes, It is. How may I help you ?"
caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed ?"
Tech: "Did you say a cup-holder ? "
caller: "Yes! it is attached to the front of my computer tower"
Tech: "Did you receive this as part of a promotion or at a trade show?"
caller: "No, it came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotion, It just has 4X on it."
At this point the tech rep had to mute the caller because he was laughing too high. The caller had been using the drawer of CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
Some jokes I remember from school, just in case you have not heard them. These are pretty gross.
What's black and white and red all over?
A news paper.
What else is black and white and red all over?
A Nun on a meat-hook.
What goes from red to green at the touch of a button?
A frog in a blender.
What's red, screams, and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What's green, quiet, and sits in a corner?
The same baby 2 months later.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Tall glass of cola and two scoops of dead baby.
17RRBHvpfGBAqoSmPCfpHM44rgavyMoB2H
What is yellow and has a B on it? A smiley with sun glasses B) 
1KC9JHYzdPFqZASRyKjEifUzsZzwHUKSQr
1KC9JHYzdPFqZASRyKjEifUzsZzwHUKSQr
How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the butter.
Footprints in the butter.
Jump to: