Topic: My advice: A gambling addict brother. (Read 648 times)
It's nice to help people but it's also a thing to take care of yourself in order to still be happy to be able to help méritant/good people deserving it
Have taken time to read through your replies and almost all the comments are in support of the advise I gave out as being the right thing to do although there were mixed reactions, and some had to back their support with good reasons which am very fascinated with.
You know it's not that easy having someone run into you unexpectedly requesting for advise you really didn't prepare for. But am now cool, less worried after all you guys had said. And I really appreciate getting those responses. I believe it's time I lock the thread as earlier noted. .
cheers
You know it's not that easy having someone run into you unexpectedly requesting for advise you really didn't prepare for. But am now cool, less worried after all you guys had said. And I really appreciate getting those responses. I believe it's time I lock the thread as earlier noted. .
cheers
Quote
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved.
Which is exactly what the brother was doing: looking out for himself and his hard-earned money, trying to protect it from the relatives who have chosen to damage his life with gambling.Given such a person's money for whatever purpose they claim it's for, it is a complete waste of money, and it will not be put to good use if they have already proven to be reckless when it comes to gambling.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
Don't feel bad about that. If you have said the right thing to do for that guy, you don't have to blame yourself and think that you've given a bad tip to him. You said it right and you help him to knock himself into reality that he's not always there for his brother. Don't help his brother to catch more of his addiction through giving him money financiall because that's not going to work. It may look bad on the other side but you have to do what is a must. Besides, they can both talk to each other and have a heart to heart talk for them to give the real score of what the situation is all about. what do you guys think about this?
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
No any reasonable and well to do fellow who will love to give his money to any unserious fellow, even if it involves his brother or close relatives, they know what they are also doing to get that money they have, so nobody can come from nowhere in claiming right towards the money they earned from what they do, i can't give a person money when am not sure of what he is doing with the money in particular, in such case, i make sure that the money given was used to the intended purpose for requesting it.
I would suggest you tell your neighbor to personally set up the business for his younger brother by buying all the stuffs and goods rather than giving him the whole money for the business having known his addiction to gambling, after setting up the business for him your neighbor would have to monitor him on running the business on regular basis, possibly your neighbor might not have enough time to do the monitoring of course once in a while he should create time to do so, moreso counselling his addicted brother about the dangers of excessive gambling would also help in changing his behavior towards it by encouraging moderation in his gambling habits or quitting it totally.
The same thing would happen if he set up a business for himself. When he starts making sales, the habit inside him would push him to take money from the company and gamble. And after some time there will be no money left to run the business. 
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
The suggestion is really that on point or it is really just that right. If he do really find out that his brother is really that lying then he could simply tell his brother that he isnt really that making use of those funds into that business or investment purpose but rather its been used on gambling on which it isnt right. His brother cant do something if he would really be that refusing on giving up some funds or money, but just like on what everyone is really that saying on here is that its really that totally not an easy situation specially if your sibling is really that in need but this would be only considered if its really that truly on dealing up with something I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
which gives out that possible potential positive effect but for gambling? Nah. .. i would really be definitely be rather scolding him on dealing up too much with gambling.
There are really just that those individuals who doesnt really like on getting some conflicts with their siblings and this is why on the moment or time that they woul really be asking for some favor, specially in terms of money and they do know that they are financially capable then they wont really be that able to refuse but rather granting up such request. Actually it would really be just that depending on you whether you would really be giving out or not. If you dont really like for your brother to get involved with gambling anymore then better cut off that supply since it would really be that basically because of the money you had
let him borrowed is the reason on why he do still continue on dealing up such stuff. Dont wait up for your brother to be ending up with that extreme addiction or severe.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Don't feel bad about it, that was the best advice you gave him, as long as he doesn't discipline himself Amy money given to him will be channelled to gambling.. I'm sure no one likes the idea that their money is constantly thrown away and not used to do anything reasonable.. sometimes in life for things to change tough decisions must be made, it might not be comfortable to neglect his brothers need but he has to follow that advice cause it's the best solution
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Don't feel bad about it, that was the best advice you gave him, as long as he doesn't discipline himself Amy money given to him will be channelled to gambling.. I'm sure no one likes the idea that their money is constantly thrown away and not used to do anything reasonable.. sometimes in life for things to change tough decisions must be made, it might not be comfortable to neglect his brothers need but he has to follow that advice cause it's the best solution
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
No any reasonable and well to do fellow who will love to give his money to any unserious fellow, even if it involves his brother or close relatives, they know what they are also doing to get that money they have, so nobody can come from nowhere in claiming right towards the money they earned from what they do, i can't give a person money when am not sure of what he is doing with the money in particular, in such case, i make sure that the money given was used to the intended purpose for requesting it.
I would suggest you tell your neighbor to personally set up the business for his younger brother by buying all the stuffs and goods rather than giving him the whole money for the business having known his addiction to gambling, after setting up the business for him your neighbor would have to monitor him on running the business on regular basis, possibly your neighbor might not have enough time to do the monitoring of course once in a while he should create time to do so, moreso counselling his addicted brother about the dangers of excessive gambling would also help in changing his behavior towards it by encouraging moderation in his gambling habits or quitting it totally.
what do you guys think about this?
You did a good thing on the other hand, and still you did a bad thing on the other hand. I know you will be curious to know why I say all this. There are some considerations about all these. Why I say that is because, in good perception, you are trying to help your neighbours so that he shouldn’t waste his money on his addicted brother. That is nice and accepted, but still, this money that the addicted brother needs can change his life because if, with luck, he stakes the game and wins, he will definitely bring the money to his brother (your neighbour) with interest so that he will tell him that this is the profit he got from his investment, and if he fails, he will just tell him that the business crashed, so you help matter, and still you didn’t help the matter.
The correct approach you will take there is simple: you already have a good relationship with both of them. All you need to do is tell your neighbour to give him a small amount but not all that he requested. then you will contact the brother and explain to him that gambling addiction will just ruin his life and the best solution to cancel that was to have a budget by reducing how frequently you play the gamble and then tell him that you discussed with his brother, and if he didn’t go with your rules to help him stop gambling, you will inform your neighbour not to give him any penny.
I don't understand why op felt remorse after giving his neighbor proper advice about his brother's situation. Was he supposed to direct him towards giving his brother more money to waste on gambling? I also don't understand why his neighbor asked him for advice on an obvious matter. Was he looking for support for his decision to stop giving money to his brother?
Gambling addicts who do not have sources of income resort to tricks and lies to obtain additional resources, and this is only to feed their addictive needs.
Those close to them must be aware of the right ways to help them so as not to further complicate their condition. Of course, there are approved scientific methods that can be used by specialists.
Gambling addicts who do not have sources of income resort to tricks and lies to obtain additional resources, and this is only to feed their addictive needs.
Those close to them must be aware of the right ways to help them so as not to further complicate their condition. Of course, there are approved scientific methods that can be used by specialists.
I guess you gave him the right advice cause if people didn't change after couple of mistakes then it's their decision to do that so helping again will do no good, meanwhile the brother can address the situation directly so he can give him the financial support if needed without handing him money on his hands.
Any kind of addiction need to be treated with medical experts or else 99% of people can't get out of it.
Any kind of addiction need to be treated with medical experts or else 99% of people can't get out of it.
I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst
But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gambling
There was a thread on this board were a gambler used all his life savings and gamble then he still lost the bet, which means he lose his life savings on gamble, I won't call that an addiction because from that op he didn't say that the gambler play often. I believed that tat gambler didn't understand anything in gamble because someone might have given him a wrong advise on gamble. The worse advise one can give to a gamble beginner is to tell him/her that gamble can make them become rich. Some gamblers are in serious dept because they borrowed to gamble and they couldn't pay back the dept. But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gambling
hero member
Activity: 770
Merit: 538
Leading Crypto Sports Betting & Casino Platform
Well, your neighbor's sibling is the reason why his brother doesn't have trust for him but just as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water, I would suggest that your neighbor should see through to all the business idea his brother has, if really it's a genuine idea, let him (your neighbor) sponsor it and give give a clear warning to that his addicted brother, telling him that if he uses the business capital to gamble and collapse the business, he shouldn't call him for help because most times, you need to discipline people, else they wouldn't learn.
So, like I said above, my opinion is that he should first of all find out if that business idea is genuine and if it's genuine, let him sponsor it but on a strict ground with his brother.
So, like I said above, my opinion is that he should first of all find out if that business idea is genuine and if it's genuine, let him sponsor it but on a strict ground with his brother.
It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved.
In that case, why are you here? After reading your post, I hear the wrong opinion about people. Yes, there are people who have a gambling addiction, and there are also those who like to have fun with gambling. They can equally be called gamers, but I wouldn’t be so categorical about simple communication.
Also, the OP's question was about his neighbor and the neighbor's brother. Should loved ones turn away from the sick? Giving a loan is one thing, but withdrawing a helping hand in all other cases is quite another.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
Maybe you gave this advice out of similar experience in your family? Because you sound like one, I had a brother who was also addicted to gambling, he can't even hold a business without the business folding up, friends and family have tried to set three businesses for him and he always failed, later on we all had to turn a blind eye.
One day he came back and started crying painfully, I've never seen him like that before, I completely believed that he has learned his lesson, and today he is not even close to gambling again, so my dear I think an addicted gambler who is destined to break those addiction chains will think twice after his loved ones turn their back on him.
All he have to do is have a change of heart and families will see through that he have changed for real, until then do not fuel the gambling addiction, he needs to take some steps himself.
I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst
Yes, that true, but when they have done everything to the point of really overdoing it and spending lot more money until they experience breakdown then there is big possibility that this condition will change, an addict will think about improving it and they will definitely think about trying to stop.It not guaranteed to be able to stop patently, but at least they have the experience to act as an alarm so they don't make the same mistake, of course the people closest to them who always monitor and help provide direction can be very helpful.
Quote
But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gwmbling
I think it will be the same, whether with crypto or gambling there is certainly no significant difference, everything is related to money and also mental because for those who cannot solve it well there is big chance of experiencing disorders such as depression.It just that it comes back to each person attitude and mindset, human thinking power is basically different and limited.
Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
As harsh as that May be , it's the best solution, giving him money will not produce any results cause he's obviously not utilizing those money rightly, it's like throwing someone's effort in a dustbin, he needs to control himself first or perhaps he's account needs to be managed by someone else, this may be a silly idea considering the fact that he's an adult but it's a very good solution, if he has anything to purchase with money it should be done by someone else, in that way he wouldn't be able to make careless decisions
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.
it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.
He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.
what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.
As harsh as that May be , it's the best solution, giving him money will not produce any results cause he's obviously not utilizing those money rightly, it's like throwing someone's effort in a dustbin, he needs to control himself first or perhaps he's account needs to be managed by someone else, this may be a silly idea considering the fact that he's an adult but it's a very good solution, if he has anything to purchase with money it should be done by someone else, in that way he wouldn't be able to make careless decisions
Your Neighbor's brother needs to deal with his addiction first to enable him no use his business money to gamble, because he might set up the business for real but if he have not overcome addiction he might use the money from the business to continue gambling since he already have what gives him money.
Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
Yes, that's what I think, so even if for example the person really has the intention and plan to build a business while on the other hand he is still trapped in a gambling addiction situation then of course in the end I am sure that the finances in his business will definitely be messy, because Of course, as we know, when gamblers become addicted, they do not hesitate to carry out various aggressive actions without considering the impact of the actions they will take.Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.
So I have almost the same concerns as you in dealing with this situation, so the only best way is to solve the problem that is happening first, in the sense of curing the person from the addiction he or she has in any way that feels reasonable or can help, and after that do whatever is your dream or desire.
You told him the right advice about not giving any penny anymore. Most of the addicted gamblers will do everything they can just to get more money to keep on gambling if they don't have genine source of income to fund their gambling activities. Even to lie, they're going to do it because they don't have an option but to say what they have to say even if it will cost them their trust from the people that are helping them. On that case, he's his brother and that's why it's easier to lie and he'll just forgiven upon finding out that he don't have a real business when he's asking for a money.
Real businessmen can actually borrow money to anyone because they have proof of capacity to pay. But on this one, if the gambling brother insists of asking money, the good brother might just suggest to show some proof of capacity that he's able to pay that loan. If not, then that only says one thing and that brother is lying and just want to get money easily, freely to lose it back to the casino that he's gambling without any return. Also, you may suggest to give help to his brother through looking for a professional help to check and counsel him.
Real businessmen can actually borrow money to anyone because they have proof of capacity to pay. But on this one, if the gambling brother insists of asking money, the good brother might just suggest to show some proof of capacity that he's able to pay that loan. If not, then that only says one thing and that brother is lying and just want to get money easily, freely to lose it back to the casino that he's gambling without any return. Also, you may suggest to give help to his brother through looking for a professional help to check and counsel him.
Jump to: