My advice: A gambling addict brother. - page 2.

Kemarit

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.

There is no right or wrong with your advise, in the end it is still his decision to follow you or not. And what you have been given is true though, it could be that his brother is just faking it and that he could be really into gambling we will really never know.

So don't feel guilty or anything, at the end of the day, you based everything on your experience and I will say the same as well if someone ask me what to do in that circumstances. And who knows, maybe because of your advise, the brother might change for the better regardless if he is a addict or not. So just calm down and let this things passed and not be a burden to you mentally.

Weawant

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It's really sad having an addict around your corner as managing them at times could literally be really challenging, I understand the fact that you were trying to look at for the brother and at some point the emotional prick that makes you feel you s re stopping him from doing his younger sibling a favour is normal but then I don't think you should for any reason regret at this point because we all know how it could be with gamblers and money especially when they are in possession of huge amounts.

Just like you suggested, it's very possible he needs that money to go get his gambling activities funded. so the most ideal thing to do is to get to know about t he exact business he says he wants to venture I to and possibly set it up for him and not hand over all the funds to him as he may be tempted to use part of the money to try out some games hoping to be lucky.

CroverNo01

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Quote from: lovesmayfamilis on July 24, 2024, 02:19:19 AM

Everything is obvious. A person with an unstable psyche will never be able to start a new business if he has bad habits behind him. In the best case, he will open a business, but at the first instance of any failure, all his money will fly away to “extract” additional cash in gambling. This is a pattern that happens to many gamblers when observed closely. His brother needs to hone his ability to say “no” and also not be shy about explaining the reason for his mistrust. The fact that he refuses his brother may be an incentive for change, or, on the contrary, a further fall down. But as adults, each person makes his own choice of how to live.

It's very compulsory we look out for ourselves in the space because gambling have been designated to liquidate our gambling accounts and if we're not strong enough, we tend to face more challenges. Gambling addicts are the worst set of people to mingle with in the space. They're aways keen on gambling even with their last cards, they've have faced quite more problems than they could easily solved.

CryptoHeadlineNews

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?

That's the exact advice I would have also give if I was to be in your shoe, but the only different is that if this your friend whose brother is asking for money is actually buoyant enough to support financially, what I would have suggest is for him to tell his brother to go bring a "Business Plan" on the very business he is claiming he wants to start, and when he brings, he single-handedly open the business for him with conditions to stop gambling, because if he doesn't, the opening of business will still be waste of time, as he will squander the money if he is not been monitored.
Hence, the best advice will be to ensure that he is no longer addicted to gambling, while you monitor the business, so that he can also be financially buayant too, because gambling is not bad, but excess of gambling is what is bad.

hahay

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When they borrow money and/or have financial problems because of gambling, then of course we have no right to give them money. It doesn't matter whether there will be a dispute or not because after all, when someone dares to borrow money frequently just to gamble,then that person has become an addict who finds it difficult to control himself. But, if you care about him, then of course you can give advice so that the person realizes that borrowing money to gamble is a big mistake.

Or maybe, try to take him on a holiday or something that can let him see the wider world and maybe get away from his gambling habit. Because however, I also realize that it would be difficult to deal with a person like this or difficult to make him aware of his mistakes, and therefore not giving him money I believe would be the best way for him to come to his senses.

Ruttoshi

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Your Neighbor's brother needs to deal with his addiction first to enable him no use his business money to gamble, because he might set up the business for real but if he have not overcome addiction he might use the money from the business to continue gambling since he already have what gives him money.

Hie elder brother should look for a way to meet experts on how he can help his brother out from addiction if not he will always be a pain on his brother's ass.

khiholangkang

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.

it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.

He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?

I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.

You gave the right advice to that person because it should be like that, where we know that his brother has a serious illness about gambling addiction, and by not giving him money is the right choice, for whatever his brother said he needed the money.

That is the best choice that can be made in such a position, I know the feelings of your friend who is complaining about his brother, and I also do the same thing as your advice to your friend to people who are addicted to gambling, however your friend's brother needs to learn to earn his own money and show himself that he is indeed building a business and when his business progresses, if he asks for help again to his brother then trust will return as before.

nara1892

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Quote from: Findingnemo on July 24, 2024, 12:35:14 PM

What if the actually turned around his life and now he is struggling with his business or career then it's the time to support him right or else he will go back to what he was doing?

The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.

Yes, that is something that may be true, but things will not be easy to believe if basically the person has previously disappointed his brother or sister several times by misusing the money for gambling, meaning that what his brother did was a choice. which is quite normal by not giving any money at all because of concerns regarding the same thing happening again.

I don't see anything wrong with what the advice giver and his brother did who didn't give money, but in fact, before taking this action, the two of them, especially the brother, should first make sure whether their brother has really recovered from addiction or not, because even if, for example, His younger brother really wants to open a business while he still can't recover from his addiction, so in my opinion the business idea will ultimately not work, because it is very likely that he will use the business money to fulfill his gambling habit which has already entered the addiction phase. The method as you suggest is to take the person to a rehabilitation center to determine whether he is still addicted or has recovered.

Findingnemo

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What if the actually turned around his life and now he is struggling with his business or career then it's the time to support him right or else he will go back to what he was doing?

The brother may have better idea whether he actually made any effort to deal the gambling addiction or not and the answer highly depends on it, my suggestion will be instead of providing financial support better make him to go for rehabilitation where he actually can better and make better lifestyle. Deal with addiction is not easy so efforts also needed from others to go through the journey.

dansus021

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I mean to be honest when people get addicted there is a small possibility to move on. They will get addicted play more deposit more and sometimes can do the worst

But if you get a big problem and involved with crypto then there is w chanhe you gonna stop playing it or when you have problem with the police in a country that illegalized gwmbling

Dickiy

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

~snip~
what do you guys think about this?

It's not entirely your fault, you gave the right advice, and of course everyone who really experiences something like this will also do the same thing, in the sense that they will give good advice that can change the gambling addict and reflect on their mistakes in taking advantage. . from his brother. only for gambling activities, if the addict really intends to change then he will try on his own with the desire that arises within him. and his brother can help him financially if he feels that the addict has truly recovered

Each person has their own level of gambling addiction depending on the person's personality. If the addiction is serious, it would be better to go to a special hospital to cure it. because if you leave it alone it will cause problems in the future.

Majestic-milf

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The economy is hard and no matter how well to do you are, it's still doesn't mean you have to waste your funds. It's hard to trust someone who's got gambling issues with money and no matter how changed they may seem, the real test will be if they can handle funds. Personally, if I were to give an advice, I'd suggest this neighbor of yours to give his brother a little money, not all of it and ask him to go look for the remaining else where because you mentioned that he has been giving him money in the past but this brother keeps wasting it, so if he assists him with some, he can keep a close eye on him or better yet follow the business this said brother has and if it ends up being another sham, then he can stop lending a helping hand.

retreat

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

There is no need to feel bad, because you only give advice that is in accordance with what you believe is right and I also feel that the advice you give is quite reasonable because no matter how much money the man gives to his younger brother it will be useless - and he also needed to think about himself, so not giving his brother the money was the best choice. And again, whether he wants to accept your advice or not is his business, because from the start he asked you for advice, not you who gave him advice, so no need to feel bad.

HelliumZ

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Quote from: satscraper on July 24, 2024, 12:49:13 AM

I would gradually convince brother to make money in crypto trading for his gambling needs. The side effect of such trading activity might be the gambling abstinence, and, for the beginning, I would present him a crypto wallet with "couple" of satoshes. The size of this "couple" would depend on his brother.

You have made a great contribution by introducing your brother to crypto trading as he will definitely consider crypto trading to manage his gambling money. Thus sometime your brother will stop himself from gambling and focus on crypto trading. I was able to stop this cousin of mine from gambling completely like you. He used to regularly steal money from his father's pocket to manage his gambling money, but he is now trading bitcoins with the idea of bitcoin, so he is not addicted to gambling as before.

ethereumhunter

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You do the right thing by giving that advice to your friend. Maybe you can tell to your friend to discuss with his brother about what business he wants to create so he can helps his brother and not just giving the money. It is risks to gives his brother the money without knowing what his brother will do so he must ensure that his brother really use that money for his new business. But if his brother don't wants to tell much about his new business, he doesn't have to gives the money and lets his brother search for the other people to gets the money.

We can helps our brother who needs money but we must know what is the purposes so that money will not be used for something that can harm him. Using the money for playing gambling and makes his brother gets deeper in gambling addiction is not a good thing so he must talk privately with his brother. You don't have to be deeper in that relation because you are not one of his family.

lovesmayfamilis

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Everything is obvious. A person with an unstable psyche will never be able to start a new business if he has bad habits behind him. In the best case, he will open a business, but at the first instance of any failure, all his money will fly away to “extract” additional cash in gambling. This is a pattern that happens to many gamblers when observed closely. His brother needs to hone his ability to say “no” and also not be shy about explaining the reason for his mistrust. The fact that he refuses his brother may be an incentive for change, or, on the contrary, a further fall down. But as adults, each person makes his own choice of how to live.

SmartGold01

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Anyone who is so passionate about business wouldn't keep eating up the little money that they have been giving him for support because he would have to make all possible majors for the business to grow and of course, should be very prepared to work hard to start up the business himself instead of keep depending on people to assist him. Okay, now his brother has assisted him and yet he still don't have the feelings to grow up the business neither is he willing to start instead keep eating up the money for gambling.

To me, I won't really give out money to him to start up business anymore after knowing he is routed into gambling even though thousands is being given to him he would still end up wasting them, therefore for any further assistance he has to sign an undertaking or a kind of agreement that he must used that money to start up a business and for that I will be the one to go make payment directly to hire a shop then I will also go with him to stock up the shop after which he can start making sales. Maybe any further downfall of the business will have me out from him because I already tried to establish the business for him and he squandered the money.

In all, what you did is the right advise.

junder

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Quote from: Lida93 on July 23, 2024, 07:49:18 AM

what do you guys think about this?

providing financial support for something that is clearly positive is certainly a good thing, even though the person should try to find a way other than borrowing money or asking for financial support and not doing this because basically when running a business you have to work hard, However, if I have often asked for financial support with the reason that business is a question, I myself would consider that I have a relative who has often asked for financial support for business reasons even though the business is not visible at all. Of course that is a question.

Moreover, if it is clear that the person likes to waste money, of course I myself will not provide financial support or lend it. I'd better support him with words that might motivate him. with what you feel is not good with what you have done, I don't think it's a mistake, because apart from saving his brother, it is also to make his brother aware.

Darker45

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I think you don't just stop giving money to a gambling addict. A person addicted to gambling has to be treated by a professional. There must be a proper process for it.

If a person is addicted to gambling and he/she can't get money from the one he/she depends on, he/she will attempt to get money from somebody else. Worse, he/she could resort into pawning or selling properties, committing crimes, and so on.

I think the best way is for your neighbor to talk to his brother and seek professional intervention. That's certainly more responsible of him rather than just halt his support.

Kelward

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Gambling addicts are always a problem to their loved ones, they're always broke and in need of more money to gamble. So far your neighbor has been given his brother money before and the guy kept squandering them on irresponsible gambling, I think that you did the right thing by advising him not to give him money. Although as his family, he shouldn't abandon his brother, instead he should support the addicted brother to get help first. The addicted brother can get professional help or from individuals like you that have experience in gambling. After the period of rehab, if your neighbor is convinced that his brother has changed, then he can monitor the payments of what his brother needs to start a business. Gambling addicted family members needs help not abandonment.

Topic: My advice: A gambling addict brother. - page 2. (Read 635 times)