It's all good.
This really bright hot round thing started to rise up from the horizon. At the same time the land started getting hotter. And I calculate that it's really going to get really hot. Then there will be heat waves and droughts and hurricanes and storms and flooding and ice and no ice and scary bad stuff like drowned puppies.
Okay, so I've studied this curious bright hot round thing some more. You're not going to believe this, but here it is. Every day this thing arcs up in the sky from east to west. I've checked. It does not take days off, but for about half of every day it disappears. It gets much hotter when it can be seen. It's going higher and higher in that arc each day. And some quick calcs show that means it's going to get hotter and hotter. So don't let any one tell you this stuff is garbage. Don't listen to those stupid Deniers. The Big Round Hot Thing is going to get hotter and hotter. So the ice caps will melt and you won't have any snowballs and Eskimos will have to get skinny to look right in binkinis.
There must be a way to control that round thing... But how?
"And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day." -- Joshua 10:13
Looks like the good book says it's possible.
Too bad the believers won't touch that book. We are the deniers, remember...