I don't know and I also don't think it is applicable to every country in this world, coz to be honest, here in my country, financial independence from the family is difficult. First and foremost, because of the tradionally filial piety we inherit, our parents become a liablity in a long run. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but it could be a wall that prevents us from financial independence.
From middle class to higher class families, we all follow the same set of traditions. This is why sometimes it will take almost double the amount of time to build up the career to become successful. In the end it really depends upon the person although you could think that it is really a hustle to achieve what you to become successful.
Topic: To cut financial ties with original family benefits you in the long run (Read 681 times)
March 09, 2023, 08:57:02 AM
March 09, 2023, 02:52:28 AM
Actually, for teenagers and children, this is still normal because we are still within the scope of parental responsibility and indeed such a thing is something that cannot be changed.
But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
It is an intricate scenario to be in - yearning for independence while simultaneously avoiding disappointing our parents. However, do you not agree that sometimes seeking assistance is acceptable? While we may believe that we possess the capability to handle everything autonomously, life has a habit of throwing us unforeseen challenges.But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
Maintaining equilibrium appears to be the most crucial aspect of this situation. We must neither be excessively reliant on our parents nor completely cut them off. As we progress through adulthood, we should bear in mind that we are all in this together. Life does not have to be faced alone, and that includes our parents.
Very good point and I can prove this. I have been financially independent from my parents for many years and we live separately. Yesterday was my father's birthday so I went to dinner with him in his apartment. Well, I did not officially buy a birthday present cause I have never done that before. I randomly bought some food that my father loves and went to dinner. A few minutes after I entered his apartment, I said to him that I had not prepared a present but I would simply send him an envelope of cash, which is very usual and popular in my culture. Usually he would refuse any money from me but to my surprise, he did accept that envelope last night. I suddenly reaize that our father-son relationship is not that simple but truly an intricate scenario that I had not realized before. To be honest, my father is living a very comfortable life and does not need my money at all. Last night's acceptance is a gusture of recognizing my independence from him and respecting me, his son, as a real man. I was so deeply moved and I am happy to be where I am now.
March 01, 2023, 02:12:21 AM
Actually, for teenagers and children, this is still normal because we are still within the scope of parental responsibility and indeed such a thing is something that cannot be changed.
But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
It is an intricate scenario to be in - yearning for independence while simultaneously avoiding disappointing our parents. However, do you not agree that sometimes seeking assistance is acceptable? While we may believe that we possess the capability to handle everything autonomously, life has a habit of throwing us unforeseen challenges.But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
Maintaining equilibrium appears to be the most crucial aspect of this situation. We must neither be excessively reliant on our parents nor completely cut them off. As we progress through adulthood, we should bear in mind that we are all in this together. Life does not have to be faced alone, and that includes our parents.
Maybe some of us have also felt this condition as well as me because sometimes there are problems that can come much bigger than imagined and we cannot withstand this problem alone.
March 01, 2023, 12:57:56 AM
Actually, for teenagers and children, this is still normal because we are still within the scope of parental responsibility and indeed such a thing is something that cannot be changed.
But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
It is an intricate scenario to be in - yearning for independence while simultaneously avoiding disappointing our parents. However, do you not agree that sometimes seeking assistance is acceptable? While we may believe that we possess the capability to handle everything autonomously, life has a habit of throwing us unforeseen challenges.But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
Maintaining equilibrium appears to be the most crucial aspect of this situation. We must neither be excessively reliant on our parents nor completely cut them off. As we progress through adulthood, we should bear in mind that we are all in this together. Life does not have to be faced alone, and that includes our parents.
February 28, 2023, 08:29:17 PM
That is why I salute those people who are not coming from a privileged family like they stand on their own two feet without inheriting the wealth of their parents. I respect those people who got into marriage without any financial support from their parents in their wedding, as most of my friends and what I saw online that they got married but were supported financially by their parents. Though it doesn't mean that we now refrain from asking for help from our parents, we do so only in emergencies and don't rely on them.
The truth is that it is becoming more difficult for the young to make their own path as the price of everything is always going up and the price of real estate is really high, so it makes sense that their families decide to help them to ease the transition from being completely dependent on them to becoming independent, but unfortunately many are failing during this process and they are not reaching the financial independence they are looking for.I thought about this as well and couldn't figure out why so many people were/are failing the being independent process. Many people blame external factors such as government, society and many other blame the parenting style and lack of education. Of course it is not appropriate to say any of these has led to the problem while it is a combination of factors. The primary reason, in my opinion, is anyone who can not realize the importance of independence and automatically avoid or abandon the awareness over their course of life. By the time all problems come at an elder age, there would be no chance of changes left. I have seen a lot of folks from my parents' generation end up in a miserable life. As we are relatively young now, this is definitely one of the things we should avoid.
February 28, 2023, 03:42:16 PM
That is why I salute those people who are not coming from a privileged family like they stand on their own two feet without inheriting the wealth of their parents. I respect those people who got into marriage without any financial support from their parents in their wedding, as most of my friends and what I saw online that they got married but were supported financially by their parents. Though it doesn't mean that we now refrain from asking for help from our parents, we do so only in emergencies and don't rely on them.
The truth is that it is becoming more difficult for the young to make their own path as the price of everything is always going up and the price of real estate is really high, so it makes sense that their families decide to help them to ease the transition from being completely dependent on them to becoming independent, but unfortunately many are failing during this process and they are not reaching the financial independence they are looking for. February 27, 2023, 02:08:01 PM
Actually, for teenagers and children, this is still normal because we are still within the scope of parental responsibility and indeed such a thing is something that cannot be changed.
But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
But the story is different when we are adults and still depend on our parents. Even though parents are not too demanding in some cases, on the other hand, we also have to have thoughts or feel a little embarrassed.
We can live independently, so we should try to be there for our parents, even though it's still far away, at least we don't have to burden them with our needs.
But that doesn't mean that when we are adults we can't be there and ask our parents for help because sometimes there are conditions where what we plan doesn't go well. Even though we really don't want to be too much of a hassle but when it's the only way I don't think it's too much of a problem if you don't do things like that too often.
February 27, 2023, 11:17:48 AM
As someone who still lives here with his family, I can write the following
First of all, absolutely every person after the age of 18 should try to take financial independence into his/her own hands (when he/she can achieve this depends on his/her business acumen or the path he/she follows), but of course some help can be received from the family when necessary, but one should not get used to it and act as if he/she will never receive any help.
Another way of looking at it is that joining forces financially with the family will always strengthen your hand and you will be able to generate more income. in short, you should always have financial independence, but you should not ignore the possibility of increasing your income and theirs by cooperating with your family.
First of all, absolutely every person after the age of 18 should try to take financial independence into his/her own hands (when he/she can achieve this depends on his/her business acumen or the path he/she follows), but of course some help can be received from the family when necessary, but one should not get used to it and act as if he/she will never receive any help.
Another way of looking at it is that joining forces financially with the family will always strengthen your hand and you will be able to generate more income. in short, you should always have financial independence, but you should not ignore the possibility of increasing your income and theirs by cooperating with your family.
February 26, 2023, 08:36:52 AM
Asking for help from parents when the need arises is normal. But staying financially dependent on them even in adulthood is simply irresponsible. The parents could also take part of the blame. Some parents cannot take it that their adult children are having a hard time. They willingly continue to support them. As a result, their children's behavior is reinforced. Parents instantly coming to their children's aid all the time may sound good, but it could also be dangerous as their children might not grow independent. They might not be able to try find ways to survive.
It’s normal for parents to extend help to their children whenever they see them hardly surviving, but taking advantage of their help would not be good at all. Instead, these children only end up still very dependent to their parents, not thinking that any time of the day their parents will be gone so they should have to start being independent by now and have their own source of income so they can provide for their family, with or without the help from parents or other people.That is why I salute those people who are not coming from a privileged family like they stand on their own two feet without inheriting the wealth of their parents. I respect those people who got into marriage without any financial support from their parents in their wedding, as most of my friends and what I saw online that they got married but were supported financially by their parents. Though it doesn't mean that we now refrain from asking for help from our parents, we do so only in emergencies and don't rely on them.
February 26, 2023, 07:57:42 AM
As an Asian, it's very hard to live alone given the facr that expenses are much higher here and living with relatives will almost always guarantee that you save up on rent too, which is why it's also a little hard to cut financial ties because you'd guilt yourself into thinking you owe them big time for letting you live. In any case, as long as it's something you can afford and they don't really extort you out of your salary to the point that they are already depending on your pay, you should be fine and dandy.
The standard of living in Asia is much lower than in Europe or countries like the US. Whether you want to live alone is up to you, don't blame the cost of living or the environment. Ask yourself why so many people do it and you can't. I'm also Asian and I've lived independently since I was a child, now I don't have too much money but I never have to think about lack of money.
family life is mutual assistance and it goes like there are unwritten rules in a relationship but everyone does it voluntarily.
So far I have never thought of breaking off financial ties with my family because I think it's like a debt of gratitude, before when I didn't earn I enjoyed the results of my family so now is the time for me to do the same.
Cutting financial ties here means that we should not be too dependent on our parents, we will earn money and take care of ourselves. When we earn money, it's time to return to take care of our parents. It is not a complete severance of ties and is no longer associated with the family. I was independent from a young age and when I earned money, my parents were the first people I had to take care of.
February 25, 2023, 12:55:38 AM
In my country (Germany) fathers have to pay a minimum of ~75.000 Euro child support (until the child is 27 years) to the mother/child. If the father cannot pay, the state is paying. But when the father is able to pay again, he has to pay back was the state was paying upfront.
Ok, two parents = 150.000 Euro to pay for the state, if both parents cannot provide money to the child (until age 27).
But the real deal is:
The state get a 814.000 Euro tax expectation, when the child is born. So if you take a bank credit and you expect 800.000 Euro for the next 20 years of work, maybe you get a 250.000 credit for buying a house.
But the state has a tax expectation of around 1.000.000 new born in the year in Germany. So 1.000.000 x 814.000 = 814.000.000.000 Euro tax expectation. Trust me, you get a much much bigger credit for that. And you can do good business with that to pay child support for your citizens.
Ok, two parents = 150.000 Euro to pay for the state, if both parents cannot provide money to the child (until age 27).
But the real deal is:
The state get a 814.000 Euro tax expectation, when the child is born. So if you take a bank credit and you expect 800.000 Euro for the next 20 years of work, maybe you get a 250.000 credit for buying a house.
But the state has a tax expectation of around 1.000.000 new born in the year in Germany. So 1.000.000 x 814.000 = 814.000.000.000 Euro tax expectation. Trust me, you get a much much bigger credit for that. And you can do good business with that to pay child support for your citizens.
February 25, 2023, 12:22:55 AM
As an Asian, it's very hard to live alone given the facr that expenses are much higher here and living with relatives will almost always guarantee that you save up on rent too, which is why it's also a little hard to cut financial ties because you'd guilt yourself into thinking you owe them big time for letting you live. In any case, as long as it's something you can afford and they don't really extort you out of your salary to the point that they are already depending on your pay, you should be fine and dandy.
The standard of living in Asia is much lower than in Europe or countries like the US. Whether you want to live alone is up to you, don't blame the cost of living or the environment. Ask yourself why so many people do it and you can't. I'm also Asian and I've lived independently since I was a child, now I don't have too much money but I never have to think about lack of money.
family life is mutual assistance and it goes like there are unwritten rules in a relationship but everyone does it voluntarily.
So far I have never thought of breaking off financial ties with my family because I think it's like a debt of gratitude, before when I didn't earn I enjoyed the results of my family so now is the time for me to do the same.
February 24, 2023, 10:53:07 PM
As an Asian, it's very hard to live alone given the facr that expenses are much higher here and living with relatives will almost always guarantee that you save up on rent too, which is why it's also a little hard to cut financial ties because you'd guilt yourself into thinking you owe them big time for letting you live. In any case, as long as it's something you can afford and they don't really extort you out of your salary to the point that they are already depending on your pay, you should be fine and dandy.
The standard of living in Asia is much lower than in Europe or countries like the US. Whether you want to live alone is up to you, don't blame the cost of living or the environment. Ask yourself why so many people do it and you can't. I'm also Asian and I've lived independently since I was a child, now I don't have too much money but I never have to think about lack of money.
February 24, 2023, 05:55:03 PM
As an Asian, it's very hard to live alone given the facr that expenses are much higher here and living with relatives will almost always guarantee that you save up on rent too, which is why it's also a little hard to cut financial ties because you'd guilt yourself into thinking you owe them big time for letting you live. In any case, as long as it's something you can afford and they don't really extort you out of your salary to the point that they are already depending on your pay, you should be fine and dandy.
Only a few would really be having this kind of condition or situation of someone who wont really be that sued out or been asked out to have some contributions at least specially if you do live with relatives.If not, then its impossible that you wont really be feeling out some guilt and wont really be making out some contributions and this is why you should really be that sensible in towards on whats happening around.
If we do speak about financial ties with original family then we do know that not forever we would really be relying into them on which time would come that you would really be needing
to stand on your own.
February 24, 2023, 04:00:24 PM
As an Asian, it's very hard to live alone given the facr that expenses are much higher here and living with relatives will almost always guarantee that you save up on rent too, which is why it's also a little hard to cut financial ties because you'd guilt yourself into thinking you owe them big time for letting you live. In any case, as long as it's something you can afford and they don't really extort you out of your salary to the point that they are already depending on your pay, you should be fine and dandy.
February 24, 2023, 03:54:14 PM
Asking for help from parents when the need arises is normal. But staying financially dependent on them even in adulthood is simply irresponsible. The parents could also take part of the blame. Some parents cannot take it that their adult children are having a hard time. They willingly continue to support them. As a result, their children's behavior is reinforced. Parents instantly coming to their children's aid all the time may sound good, but it could also be dangerous as their children might not grow independent. They might not be able to try find ways to survive.
It’s normal for parents to extend help to their children whenever they see them hardly surviving, but taking advantage of their help would not be good at all. Instead, these children only end up still very dependent to their parents, not thinking that any time of the day their parents will be gone so they should have to start being independent by now and have their own source of income so they can provide for their family, with or without the help from parents or other people. February 24, 2023, 03:22:38 PM
In economics, we really have to be independent since we graduated from school, whether it's school or college education. we are forced to have to work and save in preparation for our mature future, especially at the age of 25-27. Not a few also start their own business with the hope of success at the age of 30-40.
But that's all just theory, in practice in the real world it sometimes doesn't work out like that because sometimes there are boy who are already independent at the age of 20 or even 17 years, sometimes there are also those who are late by the age of 30 and are only independent. And our parents also don't force us to do it all, even though we are already successful, our parents will still want to give us because it is instinct.
But sometimes it will depends to the culture they are born as well, for example here in Asia we value strong family ties that's why most of the people here even though they will get in that age they still live with their parents but then the only thing that I can see that will be the problem is in terms of finances, it is good if their parents doesn't make them like atm or investment in the future. But that's all just theory, in practice in the real world it sometimes doesn't work out like that because sometimes there are boy who are already independent at the age of 20 or even 17 years, sometimes there are also those who are late by the age of 30 and are only independent. And our parents also don't force us to do it all, even though we are already successful, our parents will still want to give us because it is instinct.
February 24, 2023, 02:08:29 PM
With all due respect, the sentimental mindset you mentioned seems like good to children but this is the exact cause why a lot of children can never be truly independent. "It's not bad to support but set out a limit line or border on how far you could only go", in reality, this never works and will make things worse. The reason is very simple that we are all humans and for spoilled childrens, if you have done a million good things to satisfy their needs but only one thing you can not do for them, they will remember this one thing and "hate" you. You may call this greed, selfish or anything but the point is that there is no way to set out a limit line or border for your children because they have taken things you have done for granted for so many years and they won't change their mindset. I myself am also a parent and the sentimental part of me fully understands your point but the rational part of me stands out to speak this out.
I do not understand why there is a need to be independent to begin with. I always supported that if you want to help people, help them, and if they can't make it their own without your help, then keep helping as long as you want to or able to. If you ever fail to do that, they will have to learn the hard way to become independent anyway, and if they can, that's great, if they can't then they will be forced to live a worse life. Your job for your children is to give them a great 22 year preferably, 18 years in some nations, but after that if you can keep supporting them, it would be still fine. As a person who is old enough, I would support my children as long as I possibly can. Thanks to bitcoin, possibly all their life.
February 24, 2023, 01:47:50 PM
It's not a bad idea to fall back to your folks when you are financially constrained as a man, because no one can expect some curve balls life throws but where it becomes questionable is when it becomes a norm.
As humans, there's always the tendency to slack when we notice that our needs are being provided for us and just like a poster observed, it makes the individual (especially the man) lose focus on his role to play as a provider and can become a liability as he has lost sight of what he ought to do simply because he has gotten used to finances being handed to him.
Also, one would want to fault such a behavior on the parents but I think life places one with choices, so if such an individual wants to carry on, it's his choice.
Blaming the parents for one’s behavior may be somehow valid too, but definitely since we are adults already, it’s probably we did it because it’s our choice, to become more dependent and forget the reality that we should also work on our own and make a living so that we can be responsible providers especially for breadwinners or family man. Otherwise, if we keep relying on our parents or from other people, our lives will not improve, and when they eventually die, we would end up struggling for survival as we are not used on working to provide our own needs or to provide for the family needs. As humans, there's always the tendency to slack when we notice that our needs are being provided for us and just like a poster observed, it makes the individual (especially the man) lose focus on his role to play as a provider and can become a liability as he has lost sight of what he ought to do simply because he has gotten used to finances being handed to him.
Also, one would want to fault such a behavior on the parents but I think life places one with choices, so if such an individual wants to carry on, it's his choice.
February 24, 2023, 01:09:09 PM
With all due respect, the sentimental mindset you mentioned seems like good to children but this is the exact cause why a lot of children can never be truly independent. "It's not bad to support but set out a limit line or border on how far you could only go", in reality, this never works and will make things worse. The reason is very simple that we are all humans and for spoilled childrens, if you have done a million good things to satisfy their needs but only one thing you can not do for them, they will remember this one thing and "hate" you. You may call this greed, selfish or anything but the point is that there is no way to set out a limit line or border for your children because they have taken things you have done for granted for so many years and they won't change their mindset. I myself am also a parent and the sentimental part of me fully understands your point but the rational part of me stands out to speak this out.
I do not understand why there is a need to be independent to begin with. I always supported that if you want to help people, help them, and if they can't make it their own without your help, then keep helping as long as you want to or able to. If you ever fail to do that, they will have to learn the hard way to become independent anyway, and if they can, that's great, if they can't then they will be forced to live a worse life. Your job for your children is to give them a great 22 year preferably, 18 years in some nations, but after that if you can keep supporting them, it would be still fine. As a person who is old enough, I would support my children as long as I possibly can. Thanks to bitcoin, possibly all their life.
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