Topic: To cut financial ties with original family benefits you in the long run - page 4. (Read 691 times)

I just might fall into your categorisation of normalcy for a family or not but, one thing I would like to point out is that, its all about the training. The ability of a parent to instill in there children through which ever means, perhaps home taught morals or through the institutions they are enrolled in, a ward might just be able to learn what's the essence of what they are been given and how to survive.

In fact, its more dangerous for those in struggling g family than those from rich or the normal family like you've tagged it. Children from poor homes ought to be smart as they put there situation before whatever they are doing and always check back to see where they are coming from with a hope to change that. U fortunately, most don't follow that lane for a change. They succumb to peer or societal pressure and become a menace to society.

It's really about the up bringing.

That’s the reason why most adults never know how to value their work or jobs because they know that even if they don’t have the jobs, they can still rely financial aid from their parents even if they have their own family already. I feel pity for those women who have husbands who never know how to make their own living, and everything they need they just ask them from their parents. Parents also who always tolerate their sons, are not really helping but they are pushing their sons to become more lazy and dependent when it comes to their financial needs.

It can also be the other way around. Some parents are of the opinion that the more you bleed, the better because the more are you going to thrive for success. But that is just not correct. Both the children and the parents have some responsibility to make the best out of it. Too much from one thing is never good as the saying goes. I can tell from my own experience that some parents can be incredibly demanding, thereby putting a burden onto your shoulders that gives a disadvantage in the every day competition with those who do not have to carry that burden.

As a second-generation Asian that is borderline forced by my relatives and family members to stay together whatever the situation may be, I found the appeal in the western approach of child-rearing and raising, especially in the aspect of forcing your kid to be independent by the time they can have jobs legally, which I think is one of the reasons why a lot of westerners are a little on the independent side and are most definitely self-made. In any case, it's been noted that the less people you have to feed, the more money you can save, thus the logic behind leaving your family behind to focus on growing your personal financial stability is a concept that has been looked upon and observed in a lot of cultures, particularly the westerners as I mentioned.

At an early age, I became independent already, as we came from a poor family. I would say there is nothing wrong if you ask for help from your parents if there is a problem (lucky on you if you can ask for help mostly financially as we are poor so still my parents can't support me also) as they will be going to help you, but the best example for me is getting into marriage and all of the expenses are coming to your both parents even if both of you don't have any money, then I think it was a bad move. Though I understand they are here to help, marriage is the first step to get independence, if you are still relying on your parents for it, which is not good. It is really best if you have your own house or rent to be more independent because your parents have not unlimited lives. How would you take care of yourself if they had left you?

parenting in some countries is getting weaker and weaker, even many children are indirectly taught by their parents to depend on them for life. I know how parents really love their children because I personally have felt that, if I could give my child the moon then I would give them that but I realized that it was not good, every child must be independent in everything so that in old age not burden their parents.


my parents taught me to be financially independent when I got my first job, they said don't be wasteful and buy important things, and to be honest, what did they teach me, I always remember until now, it's been many years I never ask them for money, even I send them $70 per month, as my responsibility to them in old age, and my partner agrees with what I do.

What if you grow in a budget oriented family? If yes then I don't think they spend so much money on raising you but whatever the total amount it cost, we must still be thankful for them for their effort. This is why many kids are now returning the favour to their parents by the time they graduated from school and find a decent job.

Our parents is the first one that we approach once we have a problem, if they can't help us in terms of finances then that is the time we seek for others. Our parents is responsible for us because they created us but there are some parents who are forcing their children to repay them. This looks inappropriate but I won't be totally agree with them. I will still do it even though they won't remind me.

It's true that in some extent we depart from parents and also help our self, we don't need to rely on parents every day or in every occasions, what i see that we have to do during when we are with parents is that, to be loyal and and grab whatever we want to explore, and it's understandable that a child theirs a time it will reach a child will sponsoring the the parents, that's what we fruit of their labour, a child will began to make provisions to the parents.

Parents have spent a lot of money to raise us, it is appropriate for us as children to make them happy when we are financially able. Everyone has experienced difficult times in their life, when it is difficult to get loans from close friends, relatives or other third parties, parents are always the last destination for help.
Parents never take into account how much money has been spent on their children, as a child they have an obligation to pay for it in their own way. One of them like you have done.

You can't help it parents love their kids too much that they are willing to support them even with their last coin.  I won't blame parents for the love they have for their kids.  It is the kids err of taking advantage of their parent's love to be irresponsible.


True at the end when the parents gone old and not capable of feeding themselves, they will be sent to an institution for the aged, instead of taking good care of them because they did not set an example of taking good care when their kids are starting out.

This is commonly seen in my place, children and parents are still living together even though the childrens are already married.  They share financial responsibilities and are helping each other in time of need.  Parents never abandoned their children during hardship, in return when the parents don't have the capability to feed themselves, the children take care of them until the the last day of their parents.  That is what we called a family bond.

I think there is always pros and cons to everything.  Parents abandon their child when they turned to legal age to teach them how to be independent, in return children does not care when the parents gone old and often sent to home for the aged.


I agree, I am still living with my parents too, and I take care of all the expenses in our house. Yes, when I am in financial trouble, I often ask them for assistance but when I am financially capable, I make sure that they won't spend a single dime from their savings and even return the money they gave me in my troubled times.

Parents' love for their children is boundless, no parent abandons us even though we have families. But if we keep thinking shallowly and relying on our parents, our life will never improve. What if our parents are gone? They can't stay with us forever.
We should be independent as soon as possible and think that our parents can raise us, and get married for us. Then we can do the same thing without the help of our parents. Moreover, only when we are independent, we have enough experience to teach our children the same things.

I think being financially independent doesn't mean needing to leave the home of your parents. I mean I'm still living in mine, the only thing different is that I have my own set of responsibilities now that I take when it comes to, but not limited to finances, though I guess it differs from the cultures of family in each country, at least in mine (Asian), there's no absolute need to.

I guess for people having a really hard time, as long as you were able to graduate I reckon you'd be able to find a pretty good job to stabilize yourself, if not then there are a few online courses afaik that could probably help you land a job, maybe ask some help temporarily, maybe even make it a loan if needed.

I have also seen the life of a family where parents live with their children and maybe their grandchildren and they all take care of each other. This illustrates that communication between all goes well and can manage a large family in one house.

But it all depends on each person because many young people want to live alone outside their parents' house. They want to experience independent living while working and managing their own expenses. But many of them have difficulty living independently because they still need to manage their own lives so that they will be better later.

it is true that when we decide to be independent from an early age life will be much better, it does not mean there are no problems, but we become used to dealing with existing problems.  I have not asked my parents for help for more than 2 years because while I can do it myself I abstain from asking, even with life as a young generation there are times when I want to give something valuable or memorable to my parents and those around me.  prepare financially mature while still able to work to make money, because dependence makes us forget about the obligations we have.

Most rich people in this planet has been used to difficult things and independently since childhood, when they can finance themselves and even help parents, they will be easier to succeed, but most people are too comfortable with the conditions they have, all costs are sufficient Old even when working they are still assisted by parents and the salary they get is used for their pleasure.

Being financially independent at a young age is everyone's dream, not only men but also women, I think many people think of success at a young age, including myself, but every time you do business there is no guarantee of success in it unless you do it seriously and with discipline. even doing it doesn't necessarily guarantee success, sometimes there's still a lot that we don't know about what we're doing right now, especially when we just graduated from school or college, in this case, there are people who can get success quickly, and there are also people who may achieve success longer. depending on how he develops his business and the capacity he has.

Asking parents for help is sometimes a prestige in my opinion especially men who have a greater sense of responsibility they will always feel awkward asking, but that is not a prohibition, on the other hand when parents hear their children asking for help they will always help if they are as capable as you say because for them as great as you are now, how mature now and how successful you are now they are and however your current condition will always think you are a child who often cries and asks for chocolate when he comes home from work.

Yup, makes lot of sense when we start earning way early than the normal life cycle. I can relate this to my own situation. I started my part time job as early as I was 17 yrs old! This made me realize how important it is to be surrounded by financial goals and do your own chores. My parents are well settled at the current age (obvious thing) but when I was very young they used to be struggling with various A to Z stuff. Whether it is my school fees, bus passes, or my clothing everything was their responsibility.

It made me realize how they might be splitting lot of money in between their children and their own expenses. Let us not forget they did have bill expenses and much more to take care of in day to day life.

One thing is sure, in your life chasing your own dreams and surviving the whole family has got different expenses that you need to take care of! Compromising is not an option here because you live once in your life and it has to be fullest.

I usually work 2-3 jobs at the same time. Whether it is the forum income, my real job and odd jobs that I keep doing elsewhere based on my skill set, I am trying to increase that number in my bank account all the time. In addition to this learning "accounting" is vital and its good sign of financial management. With the time it can really help you prosper since you would not spending your money just anything that you see.

Giving heads up to important things like: Having your own office, business space or having better promotions at your job is something as much important.



That is entirely true. However, what we should be focusing on is, how to increase the whole family income and thus take care of each other. I am not much experienced but one of the documentary from Indian and Chinese culture shows that, they live in joint families. By that I mean, all brothers and their wives, parents everyone live under the same roof and manage the entire house with their combined income.

Just imagine how excellent management they might be doing. The kitchen must be running almost 12 hours a day to feed everyone and have all the personal space even after that much crowd.

I think it is lot to learn from different cultures and countries on how to manage yourself financial. Some may be living at low wages and be happy while some of them might be earning lot more but may not be happy.

It is just how you manage it

Every parent would be happy if their children could live independently without depending on them anymore. But this is clearly not intended for children who are still in school or who are still learning many things and are still attached to their campus.

Because independent things are always aimed at children who have grown up and it is also time to build their own future in this world. So everyone must also look at this based on the child's age to become independent, because it is not very good if parents force a child who is still in school to become independent in his life.

It's okay if you still depend on your parents, even after you get married because your parents will understand it and be able to accept it because some parents also experienced the same thing. Parents understand how someone starts a household life where people who get married need adjustments because their lives have changed. But as young people who still depend on their parents, we shouldn't just depend on our parents without doing anything but instead, we have to try our hardest so that we can be independent and can even help our parents in their old days. Maybe they can't do anything later and we as children, have to help them in return for our services to those who have cared for us.

You are right but sometimes, Some of our parents can not bear to see their children in that position, and if they are in a position to help will always want to do so until the child gets back on their feet however this does not mean the child shouldn't find a way to sustain his or herself cos we know some will take advantage of that too. I don't think most children would want to rely on their parents but sometimes if situations can become tough then both parties have no choice.