Topic: To cut financial ties with original family benefits you in the long run - page 3. (Read 629 times)

It's good to be financially independent as much as possible, but there can always be hard times around the corner. What if we become sick, get fried from our job, or face a lot of maintenance repairs in our apartment? From my point of view family is there to help each other in times of need. This doesn't mean that we should always rely on our parents to provide for us, but if we really need the help they will be there. Only when I got older I realised how hard the life for my parents was and they needed a lot of help from my grand parents. Without their support we could have never went on summer vacation, or get Christmas gifts. So if things are getting bad I am glad I can get at least some help from my parents. Who else would be there for us if we really need it?

If you're still single and you struggle financially, your parents will want you to be there. But if you're married and you are still under the roof with your parents and your spouse, that's something else.
However, there are parents that don't want to see their children suffer and they want to be of help as much as they can no matter what is the situation that you're dealing with. And that's why they are the ones that wanting their children to stay on their wing even if they're old enough.

There was a time I had to fall back on my parents for help and this was when I was not paid a salary for six months. I had to do so many odd jobs to survive until I couldn't cope anymore. And that was the first and last time it ever happened.
Parents are always willing to help but taking advantage of this privilege is a sign of irresponsibility. Based on our culture, Immediately you leave school and get a job, your parents expect you to be independent and even support them.

Parents should also learn to allow their children to face the world no matter how tough the situation might be. If these children always get the financial support they need, if their parents become broke or die, they might end up becoming beggars or even criminals. Children must be raised to embrace hard work, patience, and endurance.

It's not a bad idea to fall back to your folks when you are financially constrained as a man, because no one can expect some curve balls life throws but where it becomes questionable is when it becomes a norm.
 As humans, there's always the tendency to slack when we notice that our needs are being provided for us and just like a poster observed, it makes the individual (especially the man) lose focus on his role to play as a provider and can become a liability as he has lost sight of what he ought to do simply because he has gotten used to finances being handed to him.
 Also, one would want to fault such a behavior on the parents but I think life places one with choices, so if such an individual wants to carry on, it's his choice.

Asking for help from parents when the need arises is normal. But staying financially dependent on them even in adulthood is simply irresponsible. The parents could also take part of the blame. Some parents cannot take it that their adult children are having a hard time. They willingly continue to support them. As a result, their children's behavior is reinforced. Parents instantly coming to their children's aid all the time may sound good, but it could also be dangerous as their children might not grow independent. They might not be able to try find ways to survive.

To sustain yourself should always be the goal, it is true there could be moments in which this is not possible, as it could be the case if you suffer an accident and you require some financial help to pay for the hospital bills.

But this should be the exception, however for what I can see around me it seems this ideal is not pursued with the same kind of enthusiasm as in the past, as I see many young adults and even couples which depend financially on their parents.

We can seek help but we can't rely on them forever. Some people don't want to get out of their comfort zones and are contented with having complete meals under the same roof as their parents. Lacking motivation could affect us in the long run. Our parents will not live forever and we must also give them time to relax and enjoy their lives by also giving them a comfortable life.
Relying on them only makes them suffer though we might not hear them complaining. We should also need to grind and live our own lives and be sure to have our own permanent incomes.

It's not a bad idea to fall back to your folks when you are financially constrained as a man, because no one can expect some curve balls life throws but where it becomes questionable is when it becomes a norm.
 As humans, there's always the tendency to slack when we notice that our needs are being provided for us and just like a poster observed, it makes the individual (especially the man) lose focus on his role to play as a provider and can become a liability as he has lost sight of what he ought to do simply because he has gotten used to finances being handed to him.
 Also, one would want to fault such a behavior on the parents but I think life places one with choices, so if such an individual wants to carry on, it's his choice.

Most of us are born in a normal family. By normal, I mean we are nurtured and raised by healthy parents and they are still active when we graduate from college and start working. In many countries where economy has been hit by the COVID and affliated incidents, life has been harder than before and many have to choose to live with or at least ask help from their parents. From parents pespective, I believe as long as they are able to help, most likely they will be willing to help, because they love you. From children's perspective, I think this may solve some realistic problems in the short term, but in the long run, this will damage the creativity and motivation to face life challenges and harm the ability to manage finances, especially if you are a man. I say this because a lot of the friends from my generation are struggling financially now because they have been dependent on their parents and even after getting married and establishing a new family, they took a regular amount of money from their parents to pay off mortgages or cover other expenses. They've never thought about having another stream of income or one day their parents may not be making money and instead need money and care from them. A lof of hidden problems are there but just ignored. In my opinion, the earlier you become independent financially, the more likely you will be living a comfortable life with your finances. Better to know this and be prepared, if you are young.

It's good to be financially independent as much as possible, but there can always be hard times around the corner. What if we become sick, get fried from our job, or face a lot of maintenance repairs in our apartment? From my point of view family is there to help each other in times of need. This doesn't mean that we should always rely on our parents to provide for us, but if we really need the help they will be there. Only when I got older I realised how hard the life for my parents was and they needed a lot of help from my grand parents. Without their support we could have never went on summer vacation, or get Christmas gifts. So if things are getting bad I am glad I can get at least some help from my parents. Who else would be there for us if we really need it?

They've never thought about having another stream of income or one day their parents may not be making money and instead need money and care from them. A lof of hidden problems are there but just ignored. In my opinion, the earlier you become independent financially, the more likely you will be living a comfortable life with your finances. Better to know this and be prepared, if you are young.

But it is still better that you have your own emergency savings when this happens. The best goal really is that you can now help your parents financially, and for sure you'll be independent. I also noticed right now that there are people who have already had a child at a young age and are still living with their parents, and their parents are buying those needs of the child, like milk and diapers, as well as their food. It is like their parents are starting over again as they struggle to make a living as they need to feed those young couples as well as their child. I am hoping that those kinds of people will strive more, find a job, and be independent, as they already have families.

To sustain yourself should always be the goal, it is true there could be moments in which this is not possible, as it could be the case if you suffer an accident and you require some financial help to pay for the hospital bills.

But this should be the exception, however for what I can see around me it seems this ideal is not pursued with the same kind of enthusiasm as in the past, as I see many young adults and even couples which depend financially on their parents.

Agreed, it is our responsibility to keep ourselves independent in finance. When we want to do what we prefer after certain age, but looking for the money from the parents for the same is unfair. At some circumstances requesting parents for help is quite Ok, but the same shouldn't continue forever. Inheriting what belongs to them after their life is our sole right. Before that depending on them for financial needs is kind of downgrading ourselves. As suggested, we need to make ourselves motivated and move on facing the challenges.

I think this is almost a self-realization.  Obviously as you get older - Parents get older.  I see some friends who have formed the habit of relying on their Parents whenever financial difficulties even though it is a small amount.  At the very least, each person has to find the positive, motivate themselves to change their dependence on their own conditions.  When you have a family, that angle is even bigger.  Being independent is a good way to get motivated, hard work.  change yourself every day.  After all, I think when I separate myself from my parents' financial dependence/dependence, that's a good thing, I'm not sure in all other people's circumstances, but for me, I figured  early independence.