Topic: To cut financial ties with original family benefits you in the long run - page 6. (Read 691 times)

I don't see it as simple as that. Ability to ask for help in the time of trouble is a skill not everyone has and is something should be abolished because of shaming that you are irresponsible if you are asking money from your parents.

If situation continues and child keeps on asking for more, parents should sit down with their children and have a talk. Maybe plan a budget with then and teach how to spend money more efficiently. Because someone who is depending their parents all the time clearly lack something, either it's not taking responsibility, some personal issues, addiction, or could be that they just lack the skills, or that they are on the spectrum and require different kind of solutions to their problems. But clearly they need help to change their situation. It doesn't have to be money the rest of their days but until the instant threat of getting rest of their lifes ruined by some stupid debts.

While the government has certain roles to play to make the life of its citizens more comfortable and generally increase their standard of living, the government is not to be blamed when a young adult, perhaps starting out on his own constantly relies on his parents to help him with some bailout money. This scenario happens all over the world and not just in some African countries where the government cannot be relied upon.

I know the government should at least provide the environment in which economic growth and development would grow and thrive and that in turn would increase the number of jobs. While the bulk of the problem rests on the government, we should note that there are individuals that, having been born with a silver spoon, haven’t had to work a day in their lives. When starting out on their own, they would be forced to rely on grants from their parents to survive. The government isn’t to blame for that. Right?

There are also real lazy folks out there that hate the idea of working and can’t hold a job for long. Those folks most times also fall back to their family and friends for bailout money.

We have to be realistic here, one will love to make such decision if he only thinks the family he had does not have good financial stand or bouyancy, if they were the rich caliber then it's not a common thing to see someone despise the family especially because of the financial responsibilities, individuals know very well that they've got alot of benefits to inherit from the family finances than when the family has nothing than to be a liability on them always demanding for money, but should money be the source or determinant of our love for the family, how will one feels when it happens that the family cut ties with him due to his lack of being concentrated in his financial circumstances.

Where I am, the culture is different. It is common here in my country for children not to leave their parents even when they already graduated and land on a job. As a matter of fact, it is common for a household to have an extended family. This has both good and bad consequences. Among the bad is that children can easily continue to depend on their parents even in adulthood.


I absolutely agree. However, it is unfortunate here in my country because the setup is more or less cultural. It is even very much acceptable for a young couple to have the grandparents take care of their children while they do their thing. That doesn't seem good to me, but such practice strongly persists until today.

Such dependency is mostly in a system where the government is not performing. The government is to be blamed in the scenario that you have made because if government was taking care of people's need then they would provide jobs or other means that the youths can be independent. I'm going to be thinking that you are referring to African countries and that is one of the reasons I'm yet blaming government. In African countries, no proper data capturing and biometrics are all forged, so you see old men who are suppose to have retired for younger brains to fill up those positions with progressive and innovative acumen but that is not done. This is the major reason for youth high unemployment rate and what choice do they have when they need to get married and take care of homes at a certain age.

This wouldn't work well for Nomads or mobile people who could be living with whoever they need to, at anytime, without depending on them. I would rather advise people to contribute or provide for the family  or community they live with more than they consume from them. Your contributions should be enough, good and useful for them and they will never be burdened by your staying or see you as a burden to them, even to the extent of not wanting you to leave.
The contributions don't necessarily have to be financial. Help them and your own family solve their problems properly without spending any money. People should be learning how to live comfortably without money.

And always make sure you are not staying with them because you have no other place to stay or people to help you. You should be with them because it' part of your role or job.

Even the prodigal son had to return to his father when he could no longer survive on his own, he would have prolly died if he didn't return, and i think we can all agree that ones parent would prefer their children return to them for help that to run into trouble, or to steal to survive or die whilst trying to make ends meet all on their own.

Having said that, there is a difference between completely depending on ones parent for survival and requesting for financial aid so you could stand on your own feet, whilst the former is bad because you would turn out to be dependent and lazy, i don't see anything wrong with the latter, if your parents are capable of 'bailing' you out, then by every means you should allow them do so, rather than you doing something evil to survive or pay off debts.

Multiple acquaintances of mine are stuck in these positions (mostly millennials). This is now slowly trickling down to Gen Z, and they seem to be even more incapable of living on their own as is, and I'm not talking here about providing for themselves, but just regular day-to-day stuff. It's a bit baffling, especially when information is at a reach of your fingertips.

Every person's life comes to a point when he must admit to himself that he has matured and that all the chores that his parents were doing should now be on him. It makes no difference whether you are a man or a woman; as long as you are a student, you can earn extra money. Young people are in high demand in fast food places, many courier jobs, and eventually online jobs.
The fact that parents constantly help their children is a disservice on their part.
When we bring up children, from childhood we must prepare them for such a way of life that if suddenly something happens to their parents, and a person is mortal, the children can take care of themselves.
Parents make a big mistake by keeping their children around and helping them regularly, making them defenseless and spoiled.

I am afraid you tried to generalize or conclude something but unfortunately failed. Let me explain. "Very tunnel vision...in a boarding", put my topic aside and let me try to explain your point in another way. Your point is exactly like saying" it is incorrect and biased to believe people who exercise on a daily basis are physically healthier than those who never take a walk". See what your problem is ? You are simply trying to disagree with some common sense by not providing any evidence.

"Taking mortgages in such young age would..." OMG, late thirties and early forties is such young age ? Where does it come from for saying that ?  In your comment, you are sending a message very strongly: that a child(actually an adult) is not doing fine is because his/her parents are not teaching them well. Yet, when you say "Parents often teach children on how to face problems and challenges", then later you also mention that "Also setting up a family....it will differ how they face it individually." Execuse me, they are contradictory.

"Truly financial independence is a myth though...out of question." This is even worse. How come you cut all reaons and logic and say "truly financial independence is a myth"?  Whether this is a generalized or an individual expression, it is inappropriate. I feel like you are trying to dismiss something that can be concrete while trying to judge something that is supposed to be subject and personal.

Do you know what? it's a mistake from their parents because they're willing to help anything when their kids ask for money, even though they're already matured and getting married or in short their parents spoiled them too much.

Any parents need to know when your kids already graduated from high school, you're not responsible to cover and pay the whole expenses from your kids, you can kick him from your house and force them to live alone. They will learn how hard this life, increase their critical thinking, know how to manage money etc which not been taught in their school.

Parents will always do whatever we need, as long as they are able they will definitely help. But here is our duty to get out of that zone and try to solve problems on our own, especially in financial matters. We cannot forever rely on help from parents or anyone. Maybe things like this will be fine when our parents still have the ability to help us, but life is not always there, sometimes we have to experience difficulties.
I see this kind of thing in my surroundings, yes I have acquaintances who can be said to be good because their parents are still capable and tell them whatever they want, but when their parents are no longer able to do that, people I know tell me how sorry they are for not being able to grow independently and not taking advantage of opportunities to do business when he still had the money to do so.

Sometimes the correct thing to do may seem to go against our common sense but you are right, parents on their desire to help their children offer them financial help, and while this could be fine if there is a justification for it, we also know this could become a pattern unless an effort is made to break it.

And in many occasions this starts and ends with the parents, which need to stop giving to their kids so much assistance as this will help them understand they cannot keep pushing their economic problem to their parents all the time.

Very tunnel vision sort of thinking there. Parents often teach their children on how to face problems and challenges. It is incorrect and biased to assume to that home grown children are in any way inferior to the ones living on their own or in a boarding.

Taking mortgages in such young age would mean that there were financial problems in the family and they have had to take the money in dire situations. If a child does not know to manage the finance then they have not be taught properly. Also setting up a family is a new thing for every person, it will differ how they face it individually.

Truly financial independence is a myth though and even if bitcoin brings us close to it, most countries in this world does not have the technical infrastructure to allow quick and easy bitcoin use. They are all stuck with fiat and hence the point does out of question.

There was a time I had to fall back on my parents for help and this was when I was not paid a salary for six months. I had to do so many odd jobs to survive until I couldn't cope anymore. And that was the first and last time it ever happened.
Parents are always willing to help but taking advantage of this privilege is a sign of irresponsibility. Based on our culture, Immediately you leave school and get a job, your parents expect you to be independent and even support them.

Parents should also learn to allow their children to face the world no matter how tough the situation might be. If these children always get the financial support they need, if their parents become broke or die, they might end up becoming beggars or even criminals. Children must be raised to embrace hard work, patience, and endurance.

Asking for help from parents when the need arises is normal. But staying financially dependent on them even in adulthood is simply irresponsible. The parents could also take part of the blame. Some parents cannot take it that their adult children are having a hard time. They willingly continue to support them. As a result, their children's behavior is reinforced. Parents instantly coming to their children's aid all the time may sound good, but it could also be dangerous as their children might not grow independent. They might not be able to try find ways to survive.

In economics, we really have to be independent since we graduated from school, whether it's school or college education. we are forced to have to work and save in preparation for our mature future, especially at the age of 25-27. Not a few also start their own business with the hope of success at the age of 30-40.

But that's all just theory, in practice in the real world it sometimes doesn't work out like that because sometimes there are boy who are already independent at the age of 20 or even 17 years, sometimes there are also those who are late by the age of 30 and are only independent. And our parents also don't force us to do it all, even though we are already successful, our parents will still want to give us because it is instinct.

Most of us are born in a normal family. By normal, I mean we are nurtured and raised by healthy parents and they are still active when we graduate from college and start working. In many countries where economy has been hit by the COVID and affliated incidents, life has been harder than before and many have to choose to live with or at least ask help from their parents. From parents pespective, I believe as long as they are able to help, most likely they will be willing to help, because they love you. From children's perspective, I think this may solve some realistic problems in the short term, but in the long run, this will damage the creativity and motivation to face life challenges and harm the ability to manage finances, especially if you are a man. I say this because a lot of the friends from my generation are struggling financially now because they have been dependent on their parents and even after getting married and establishing a new family, they took a regular amount of money from their parents to pay off mortgages or cover other expenses. They've never thought about having another stream of income or one day their parents may not be making money and instead need money and care from them. A lof of hidden problems are there but just ignored. In my opinion, the earlier you become independent financially, the more likely you will be living a comfortable life with your finances. Better to know this and be prepared, if you are young.