Topic: Too much pressure on the male child - page 4. (Read 769 times)

I think the big problem is that too many young boys grow up without a father figure in their lives to show them how to act like a man. Instead they learn what their friends laugh at or think is cool and they try to be that person. The destruction of the family unit seems to be happening as fast as ever these days, which won’t lead to good things for society down the road.

I think you have to understand that your life is first, your responsibility, and whatever comes from the outside is a help you should be grateful for. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get rid of that sense of entitlement that the government owes you anything - it will help you a lot.

As for the pressure on the first child, I chose to use it to my advantage. It encourages me to work hard knowing the responsibility i carry on my shoulder.

Because every culture, tradition and everything kept told them to do be the man of their family, if that is wrong then I am okay to be wrong my entire life.

OP never expect someone to bear your burden, you have to figure it out in one way or another. It's a personal journey of responsibility and self-discovery, and while societal expectations may play a role, ultimately, the choices and decisions we make are our own. Embracing those responsibilities, whether it's providing for a family, paying taxes, or making choices about family size, is a part of growing and navigating life's challenges.

A typical African male child is expected to be strong and brave. He is expected to protect his family, ensure no hurt comes close to his women. He is expected to provide his basic needs and that of those around him. He is not expected to weep or complain because he will be tagged a weakling.  An African male must be a problem solver. Where he cannot  solve problems,  then he is of no use. An African male child should have money ....plenty money or else he will not be regarded in the gatherings of men.

Let the male child breath! Enough of all this pressure on the male child.
The society is all about survival...survival of the fittest and only those who can survive the pressure will scale through. Those who cannot meet up fall out.

Basically, if we look at boys now from a general perspective, when they grow up they will definitely become leaders. Whether it's as a family leader or a leader in another field. Therefore, boys will experience a more stressful life journey than girls. Because one day they will become family leaders and must be able to support their children and wives well. So like it or not, they (men) have to fight extra hard to become truly great adult men.

But if I look at the story you describe. All these problems exist in the government sector. Because it is certain and clear that the reason many young people in a country commit crimes is because of poverty. Meanwhile, what regulates and can alleviate poverty in a country is a good government system. Because the government's task is to regulate and manage society and the country, so that it becomes a prosperous and developed country. Including making the young generation in their country have good morals and morals.

However, in reality, there are quite a few governments in a country that are more selfish and only enrich themselves. They also forget their obligations and they also close their eyes and close their ears to the suffering experienced by their people. So many people are destitute and do not have a good future.
Although not everyone who works in government is like that, but I'm sure many people in government are like that.

Why you want to blame? Nobody force you to be responsible, nobody force you to pay taxes too, nobody force you must have two kids, you do it at your own discretion, and you even knowingly agree to it to the point you willing to be bond in a contract for many years. You want to blame me for you wanna kys??? Despite there is enough warning all over the internet to warn you about the danger of modern setup, school didn't mention it, ohhhhhh, I can see dozen of my friends are still haven't wake up and they are still taking jew jabs and trying to save the job market, that is lmao, there isn't even a pension or retirement plan or big fat salary to be expected but being wage earner do not really have much choice but to work at minima wage while risking their life to pay taxes and take obligations, I am enjoying every last minute seeing them being as gullible as stock investors.

Yes, so many people are beginning to have a different perspective on things and beginning to also start thinking out of the box,  this is most important if really we want to realise our individual part in prosperity and self-discovery,  because, in the past,  a lot of people believe is a line and pattern of thoughts,  believes and acts that have really not been fair on some set of the gender of species of human,  which some time degenerates into discrimination and pressure from the society.

But in the contemporary society,  people are beginning to know their rights and also giving their observations on matters that concern their well-being be it as a male child or a female child,  the parents also have a significant role also to play in the role allocation to the kids and at the same time teach them values instead of prejudice.

Here in ours, it's not just all about the male child but it is about being the firstborn. When you're family and life aren't as fortunate as the others, as firstborn, it's like you're carrying the burden of your parents that you need to do the best. Yes, the best and not better. Like being successful in your career at a young age when the opportunities are very limited and you should have a house, a car, a good savings all those stuff that can say someone's well in life. It's like part of being in a sandwich generation and just as what your society tells you there, this should end from us.
Luckily, we understand things better as we're in the middle of these two generations where adults and young adults are collaborating and we understand the past, present and the future scenarios of family matters and societal issues and taboos.

They say we face the millennial problem where people who are in their 30s can't afford their own apartment or a house, while their parents were often able to do that in their 20s. I know that because my parents had their own homes before 30, but I've managed to get one only because my partner had it. I wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.

I also agree that males have more on their heads because they're expected to provide for the family. You have to be much smarter than you needed to be 30 years ago to achieve the same position at work and have the same wage.

Yeah quite alot have changed in societies and countries because the only thing that is permanent is change and because change is transient, the forces of change must act upon it and modernity as one of the agent has really changed the gender and even duties based on sex. These days women are bread winners and even feeding the men or supporting them to take care of the home front. We don't need to be stagnant and gnash our teach on the hardship from the government, we need to give equal opportunity to both the boy child and the girl child because roles have really been altered and a female can turn out to be a bread winner. In the past in Africa, you only see male that are professionals in career like engineering, medicine, law etc but today the female are even more in all those professional fields of life . So the only thing that is constant is change, we can change our lives to the angle we want it to be driven to if we believe and make effort towards it.

This pressure on the male child is prevalent in poor nations where their are high rates of unemployment. Most unemployed family members depend on employed male relatives. They don't want to know what such an individual is going through as they put him under unnecessary pressure. It is common to see relatives forcing employed members of the family to give them money to meet their basic needs.

I have faced such kind of pressure that nearly resulted in depression but I have also learned some good lessons. Nobody in this world can make me engage in any kind of criminal activity because I want to assist or render help. I have seen criminals claim that the reason they engage in crime is because of pressure from the family. I see it as a high level of stupidity. If they go to jail or get killed the same family members will be okay. They will look for other means to solve their problems.

The government is to blame for not providing jobs and enabling an environment for businesses to strive this should not deter citizens from putting effort to survive. You can only do your best and won't kill yourself because of people's bills. If you think I am useless because I don't have money to waste or spend on you, that's your own business because I don't need anybody's approval to be content, proud and enjoy what I am privileged to earn.

Hey mate brace up develop a thick skin about life pressure and move on,  regardless of your gender be it male or female the fact is that,  as a human, your chances of escaping life pressure are limited regardless of your gender,  there is no doubt that in some society the male child I made the breadwinner meaning he has to earn a living for both himself and the family respectfully and the inability to meet that demand makes you irresponsible.

That is not how it ought to have been but the older generations have set this limitation,  but now is left for us the new generation to change the societal norms that give and train the male child to bear all the loads of the family by providing the basic needs of every other member of the family.

Now the training in the home has shifted to both genders,  now you see a boy child doing so well in the kitchen while handling other tasks allocated to them by the parent, The same goes for the female child whose father gives her all the training needed to survive life pressure where she need to play the role of a man because we have some single mothers who are 100% responsible for the kids so the financial burden falls on the woman who is a girl child,  so society is changing and the world is beginning to view things in a different dimension.

Unfortunately the government has worsened the ordeal of being a male because right there in the bible was the genesis of it all for man hehe. It was the punishment that God gave to the male through Adam for allowing Eve to deceive him. If you read the bible from genesis then you can trace some other punishment according to bible account, both the serpent, the woman and man.

Looking at KJV, Genesis 3:14/15, God caused serpent for deceiving Eve " And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed: it shall bruise thy head, and thou shall bruise his heel.

The woman through Eve was given the punishment of child bearing in Genesis 3:16 " Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception: in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children: and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Genesis 3:17, And unto Adam he said, ...... cursed is the ground for thy sake: in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.

So the government only intensified the punishment of a male child by not creating enabling environment for survival and taking care of the family as the head. It is unfortunate indeed.

Yes, that's how men are made, they have to withstand the pressures of the world, we are made like that, we have to accept, we are loved for what we have. and we are thrown away we lose what we have, life is hard so get used to it.

Not only in your country, friends, even in one world the government cannot provide jobs for all of its citizens. It's true that not having money doesn't feel good, I've felt that too. In my country there are also many teenagers who have finished school and are determined to steal car and motorbike mirrors, etc., to fulfill their stomach needs. I understand what they feel but this is not good, if you are caught by the police at a young age you will be wasted in prison. It's better to avoid things like this, do work that doesn't involve a criminal act, for example picking up plastic bottles or cardboard and then reselling them, or working as a market worker, for example carrying fruit or vegetables and rice at the market, this job is much better. Don't pay attention to what other people say, just ignore them, after all they can't help our lives, do whatever you can to earn money in your country, even though the work is dirty, but the results you get are clean and blessed.

Nobody will put pressure on you, the pressure comes with age and responsibilities that follow it. Men are meant to be providers for themselves first, siblings, parents, friends and others as it is believed in the community, so when a man cannot provide even for himself first the basic needs, it puts a lot of pressure on him, when he then has a lot of people who look up to him, the pressure doubles. Men are not easily giving money freely by people because they are not women who people can assist. A man is expected to be tough and have all the solutions to his problem. Men should also learn to help their fellow men as much as they help women.

Our expectations from the male child is killing them gradually, a man without money is not just a problem to others, but to himself.

when I see young men engaging into things they ought not to due to lack of money, my heart bleeds.
Our society today have made the male child without money useless, and that have push them to their early grave and most of them engaging into criminal or fraudulent activities just to make a living which have brought them to their untimely end.

I am a proud African, I know how blessed we are with different mineral resources but our government is not helping matters by providing good jobs.

We should stop putting too much pressure on the male child, because they also feel pain.
 
The male child without money is not useless, they also deserve to live without being pressured!