Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him (Read 741 times)

He may still be fine and doesn't gamble as much even though he has more free time. You can watch him from a distance to see if there are any changes in his health. If something has changed and his house helper asks you for help, you can help him and contact his children. Maybe he felt lonely because he didn't have his children or grandchildren visiting often, so when he saw gambling, he found something entertaining. But you can visit more often so he can chat with you. He can also reduce his gambling time. I think an older person needs other people he can chat with so that he doesn't feel bored living in his old days rather than just gambling all day.

Right. even though for example we already have good intentions to help them but basically if they don't show signs of needing help then yes we can't do anything, and if we force them to follow some advice from us maybe they will think of us as people who like to interfere with other people's business. Therefore, a better first step is if indeed your socialization relationship with that person is not too close then do whatever it takes to make your relationship closer and one of them might be by always greeting them. I think this method is quite effective to do, with that I think then you will be able to find out whether they need help or not.

The impact  of gambling is huge and casinos never see who their target is, young or old it doesn't matter because of course the control is on the gambler himself, if he can't impose any limits on his gambling then obviously they will enter a worrying addiction, and I hope the old widow realizes soon that this activity does not have a positive impact on her life,  but will only cause a lot of problems, that's clear.

I wouldn't interfere.

There's a lot of these situations where you feel like you should do something but don't know if it's the right thing to do and if that person really wants it.
Just look at the state of that person. Don't try to protect someone you don't know from bad things that aren't happening but could.

Old guy is having fun. I bet he's doing it for longer than you so you'll only make a fool of yourself trying to give advice to an old gambler.

I agree with your opinion, we can only give advice if he asks for it but if your relationship is very close to the old widow then you can communicate the gambling problem to suggest gambling with limits and avoid the effects of gambling addiction. I feel sorry for the old widow who earns a monthly pension but her children don't necessarily send her funds every month. If he doesn't have other income then it won't be enough to use to gamble every day because he also depends on buying other necessities using those funds.

First, we first look at and investigate what the case is. if he can afford to lose because of his gambling, why should I forbid him. That doesn't mean I don't care at all, but I also have to look at several other aspects. Based on the first story, this old mother was lonely and was only accompanied by a servant. Maybe, that's why he's looking for entertainment without having to do activities outside the home or visit somewhere.
At this point, we don't know for sure why the old mother loves gambling so much. there are many factors, and I have already mentioned one of them.

Secondly, if it turns out that the old man has stable finances, plus gets other income from the share given by his child, for example. That means, this old lady doesn't feel worried about the activities she carries out in her gambling. Maybe, he understands better than us and is able to manage the expenses he has to incur. in particular, those related to gambling. as I said at the beginning, basically we don't know what the real situation is. and most importantly, if he gets pleasure from his gambling activities, why should we prohibit it, after all he has the right to his own pleasure.
So, before you give advice or provide education, you can first get to know it more closely. so that you know how far he is in his gambling. besides, if it doesn't harm him, it means he's fine. If, however, the situation is not like what I said, a persuasive approach is a better first step before we judge someone. After that, especially if you know what happened, then you can act according to the situation and your conscience.

Is gambling interfering with his other activities? Probably not.
If this was a situation where a man doesn't take care of his children, wastes all the money he works for and there's not much left for the family, can't afford to buy stuff and has to ask others for help, yet he still gambles, it would be a good idea to talk to him. In case of your neighbor, he's bored. He doesn't work anymore, doesn't need many things. He's trying to win to get some emotions into his boring life, maybe he wants to leave some money to his children and thinks he hasn't got enough time to earn that, but might get lucky and win it? I wouldn't say anything to him. Maybe casually ask him how he's doing and if he recently won anything.

Considering the situation in question, it wouldn't be wrong to state that the person is addicted to gambling but how actively he gambles is also a criterion that needs to be analyzed well to determine at what stage this addiction is. I don't think there is a need to warn someone who has turned to gambling probably out of boredom because he lives alone if he gambles in a way that doesn't put a strain on his own budget. However, if this person is negatively affected financially and psychologically due to gambling I think he needs advice and warnings regarding this.

Also, I think this person may need advice on this depending on his age and his level of gambling addiction. As I mentioned, if he isn't negatively affected financially and psychologically by this addiction there will be no harm in him continuing gambling. However, if gambling negatively affects this person's psychology and financial situation I definitely think he should be adviced about it.

You can always make suggestions to someone, however it sounds like the guy is a bit older and by that point in life is less likely to take onboard the opinions of others in matters like this. You might find that he is doing it out of sheer boredom and to pass away some time, but you also don't necessarily know his financial situation to make certain judgements. Maybe he's playing for cents at a time and keeps within sensible boundaries every day. Even if his children were to find out, there may be no influence that they can have over his activities because they cannot be looking after him at all hours of the day. You're unlikely to change his habits, maybe you can steer him towards less expensive gambling or even free pursuits instead.

Maybe for now, let him do what he wants to do with his life. Anyway, he's a pensioner and his games are like his companion these days.
Try giving such piece of advice if he asks for it or give hints that he needs help about his gambling habits.
But without showing any indication that he needs help, don't offer it. As you said, he will just ignore those words.
He is enjoying his senior years, and maybe this activity is helping him to stay sane and active with life.

The problem with most of the older gamblers is that since they have better experiences in gambling, so they know more how to deal with gambling than those who are only starting to gambling. With that, it’s really impossible that your advices will be heard. However, it also depends on how you are going to deliver your advice. If you advise like a close friend, probably he will try to listen and consider your advice especially if he knows he is going far with his gambling habit. But if you advise him like you know better than him in gambling, you are only wasting your time because once he feels offended and sense that you are already over interfering on his own gambling business, then your advice will be useless and will only be taken for granted.

As long as it doesn't affect his finances and his supply or income, I'll say you let him be but its wise to have his children know about his gambling nature so they can route a different approach to the way they take care of him.

Most advanced people don't have much concerns about things that generate money and materials anymore as they consider themselves successful, having trained their children to become professionals and all that, what those millenials now require is peace of mind and joy. If gambling gives him that joy without any form of damage to his finances then he can be allowed to enjoy the years of his life with it.

Giving him some piece of advice will not make him feel bad as long as you do it not on an offensive way. Just tell him that he might be losing a lot from gambling and that his health might be affected in the end. While we know that gambling is part of entertainment, but if you know you are heading into gambling addiction, you are not only putting your money into waste but you are also putting your own emotional and mental state into danger. So never gamble more than you can afford to lose, and always see to it that when you gamble, never expect for huge profits but face the fact that when you gamble, you are going to lose your money. While it’s okay to lose, but only lose the amount that you will never regret in the end.

Well, I don't remember op mentioning that he has contact of his children, he only said that they all have grown and become professionals. You might want to ask how then did op know that he man's children have grown and become professionals if he doesn't have their contacts, my answer is, perhaps, the man told him(op), cus op did not also mention that the children stays with their father, he(op) said that the man stays alone with a house help.

But on a generally terms though, you are right, if the op did have the contact of the man's children, he can indeed contact them and tell them to caution their father, that their father is wasting too much money on gambling.
But also think about this, what if the man's children doesn't know that their father is gambling, and the man himself doesn't want his children to know that he gambles, don't you think op calling his children to report to them that their father is wasting to much money on gambling, will be op invading the man's privacy, which could result in the man becoming seriously angry with op, and possibly consider op to be a too loose a person to trust and share secret with?

Perhaps if is something that he has been doing for many years even when he was young, that means he is fully aware of the possible risk involves while gambling, perhaps if he was not affected by gambling during his youth age I believe that it will not affect him in anyway because is not his first time of gambling.

Or perhaps just like you said, he could be doing it to have some fun and also as a reminder of how he was doing it when he was young, but however if you feel that he is becoming an addict in the gambling were as he is spending all his money on gambling perhaps you could advise him or instead bring the notice to his children in other for them to guide there father.

I do not think that the person is struggling in meeting his daily needs.  He has kids that can help him anytime plus his pension.  I think the person have surplus of fund, possibly the reason why the guy does not mind losing his money on a gambling activity to have fun.

It is not our duty to give our neighbor a proper advice if the person is not asking about it.  It will often end up in misunderstanding if we give them advice when they feel they don't need it.  Besides the person just move in, so the chance of being a close friend is far from possible.



I highly agree with you, worst case scenario the person might feel that the person giving an unsolicited opinion is trying to meddle with his life.

Well, if both of you are getting along really fine as you said, I don't see any reason why you should hold your advice back if you really think that he needs it, atleast, the advice will not only help him (if he did listen and do as you advised him), but this also will help you learn more about the type of person he truly is, since he is a man only got to meet recently. If he takes your advice well and didn't pick any offence or whatsoever, then, that is a sign that, he is indeed someone that you are freely communicate with. But if he picks offence or tries to act defensive, then you know that you will have to be careful of what and what you should say to him whenever you both are discussing, to avoid him getting angry with you or so.

So yeah, I personally advice you to go ahead and advice him, as long as you are very sure he needs the advice, a simple advice doest harm anybody after all, but if he actually did find your advice offensive and possibly got angry, or acts defensive, then just apologize to him and leave him alone to himself and his decisions.

That's right, I think there is a misunderstanding here. OP immediately assumed that the senior citizen was becoming addicted to gambling when he noticed that the senior citizen was active in gambling.
The person is retired and and has a pension. For me it's clear that this is just entertainment because his/her children have finished school and are also professionals as well.

In my opinion you should approach talking about gambling and asking him what is his take regards it. So you share your personal experience as well, what your family think about, talk about losses and winnings, so at some point he will start about his as well, what can give you a better picture of how gambling is affecting his life.

If your conclusion is that gambling is being potentially harmful to him and that his family has really no clue of what he is doing with the money, then you can go ahead and start advising him to talk to his sons and to be find alternative activities to spend his time and money.

Of course, there is always some chance he won't like a stranger telling what he should do, but I guess you will have done your part to help him and should feel proud of yourself for that.

According to OP's story, it looks like the widowed senior citizen is already enjoying his pension, so gambling is obviously just a hobby for him. And in my opinion, it is not in his condition that he has an addiction to gambling.

So, maybe OP is just misunderstanding what he sees in that senior citizen. So it's better for him to keep to himself what he thinks about the old man, and besides, Niot's condition seems to be fine in my opinion as well, if we base it on the op's story.

Senior citizens are like that, they do the things they missed doing and enjoyed doing when they were young, and most of the time they overdo them, in the case of your neighbor this is not something new, since there's nothing to worry about anymore, there's money in, his children are all professionals so since he has nothing to worry about where to get the money he just pours everything and live life to the fullest.

We all going to get old and we want to remember the things that we enjoy and want to keep doing them until we are old enough to do this, so I recommend to OP to just guide him, the most important thing is he will not neglect his health and his health will not deteriorate because of gambling.