Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him - page 2. (Read 741 times)

At old age, our bad habit gets worse while our good habits get better. I don't believe people pick a habit at old age. It's always a habit that's there but suppressed somehow. The widower didn't pick that gambling habit at old age. He merely found solace in it since the wife who probably was checkmating him had transited to the great beyond. The old man is possibly thinking that he's catching fun of whatever is left of his life now and thinking he's enjoying himself by that past indulgence.

I think you just leave him alone. He does not need your advice because we all know that senior citizens needs to enjoy the remaining days of their lives with what they have either they were pensioners or not. Since that old guy you are talking about is a pensioner and has stable source of funds or income, I think there is no problem with that.

I think for me, the better approach would be to ask him first if how long he is been gambling because it seems you didn't know this yet. You shouldn't jump to a conclusion of giving an advice without investigating things first. If his response is he already been gambling for a long time now, then you shouldn't worry about him because he already knows what he is doing. He might be even better than you, and it looks like he is the ones that should give you advices .

Another thing is, he is already old and he has a pension plus a successful children. I'm sure his children will also let him enjoy his small time left on the earth. Money is not a problem here.

Op has provided a pretty good place for us to exchange ideas in terms of finding solutions to stop or avoid gambling. Although we have good intentions to help them but on the other hand basically it is quite difficult for us to know whether they experience problems as a result of this gambling or not at all because they come only to seek pleasure. Of course for this problem only the gamblers themselves know because they feel the impact, and maybe we can also find out a little by approaching the person and asking whether this activity causes a lot of problems in his life or not.

And also yes as you said there are also some of them who come because they are lonely and just looking for fun. Of course that is true, if you are lonely there are basically many other alternatives that you can choose if it is just for fun, rather than gambling and having a lot of financial problems. I think your first step should be to socialize with your neighbors before you interfere in their personal affairs including their gambling activities, lest you be called a person who likes to interfere with other people's affairs, and also on the other hand it is better at least your relationship with them can also be more harmonious.

That's exactly what I thought, feels like his neighbor is having a hard time and feeling lonely because he's the only one left in his house together with his caretaker. Maybe gambling is one of the reason so that he can't feel the loneliness that he felt.  If i were OP, I will talk to him at first and I'll never give him an advice as long as he didn't request for it. Also OP may consider of inviting his neighbor to do some other physical activities so that his neighbor's attention will focus on other activities rather than gambling, also to lessen the use of mobile devices which affects his neighbor's health knowing that he is a senior citizen.

I don't expect the old man to listen to you, I mean how old are you? Who are you to advice someone who have take responsibility on his family through the days of his life before he get to this final stage of his life? It's in old men to not listen to anyone younger than them, so good luck in advicing such person.

And how did you get to know that he is suffering from addiction? I won't care much about becoming a responsible gambler at such age after doing my best on my kids and family, it's time I don't need to worry about the future anymore, so let me be an addict.

That man can be going through the best days of his life with gambling, something he might not be doing when he was young, mind your own business OP because there is nothing left for this man to lose, and also there is nothing left for him desire for, he might sleep and not wake up tomorrow,  I pray he live more longer though, but at such age there isn't anything left worth chasing.

Let him have the fun while he still can.

The OP's thinking may be a good one in wanting to help others, but in this case, I'm not sure whether the man is a gambling addict or simply lonely, so they seek help for the fun of gambling games. Because I also came into contact with a similar case, but on the contrary, the person I came into contact with taught me that I should not be exposed to gambling games much but spend more time with people around.

And going back to the OP's story, I just want to suggest that you regularly discuss understanding better with your neighbor, to know better and why he likes to gamble, and definitely need advice if he's deep into gambling.

You can give her advice about managing her gambling activities. After all, she had already retired and should no longer need to gamble. She can enjoy her old age well and doing other things will be more beneficial for her.

Maybe the lottery still seems safer than other gambling games. But if this is not managed, she could spend all her savings to buy lottery tickets. You could teach her to allocate some funds to buy her lottery tickets every week or month. It would be better for her not to spend so much money buying lottery tickets.

Or you can talk to the children about their mother's habit of buying lotteries and cockfights. This is so that the children know and can give other suggestions to their mother. Indeed, advising older people requires caution because they are more sensitive. So it looks like you need help from his children because you are his neighbor. Or you could leave it like that because you're afraid to offend him by giving him advice.

I agree with many of users are saying here:
1. It's not your business.
2. Old people always think they're better than the young generation.

For users who are saying @OP need to warn @OP's neighbor because he might addicted to gambling, I just want to say "anything that you think good for you is not always good for the other people, because life is a choice"

So it's she or he? there's only one person in this discussion.

If he is your neighbor then it is your duty to give him proper advice he has no one to help him maybe he is struggling to make ends meet with pension money so he tries to solve his financial problems by gambling. As you said he is very active in cock fighting so he may have a lot of knowledge about this sport so he chose this sport. If you can control yourself it is better if you don't become an addict You can talk to him and educate him little by little about the pros and cons of gambling. It is difficult to master everything in old age given the right advice he may find some other way than gambling.

Even myself wont really be that confident on telling someone on what they should gonna do, its their money then its their full rights on what they should gonna do with it. Just like on what i have
said earlier is that we should really that minding on our own business and wont really be touching up others. Yes, we do have that kind of in concern towards others but we should really know about the boundaries or limitation because there are things which are supposed to be left alone and wont really be that ideal that you should really make some involvement.
If he decided to spend up his money on gambling then let him be, you arent the ones who would really be wrecked up on the end but it seems that he could be able to sustain his gambling leisure
then its really just that right that he does have that capacity on doing so and since he's senior and he do have that monthly allotment then it is really just that fine.

Leave the person alone, at least in his old age. )) He dedicated his whole life to someone, family, children, work, and so on, and now he just wants to play the lotto and play the slots, there’s nothing wrong with that, and you don’t know what his gaming budget is, maybe he’s in spends the day on 5 bucks per game, many retirees spend more on beer and cigarettes, so I don’t see any problem in this...

I would prefer not to interfere in his business, namely regarding his gambling activities, unless he is the one asking for advice or has a very close relationship so that the approach and advice given can be well received because usually advice from people who are not close can actually damage the relationship because they don't have closeness. so you understand that advice has a good purpose.

However, if you still want to give advice then start by having a good relationship and opening up a conversation about the gambling he is doing until finally you will have the opportunity to tell him the importance of continuing to gamble carefully so he doesn't get caught up in addiction, but because he is a pensionary, gambling is his activity which can provide pleasure because he has very few other activities

Not sure if you are the best person to approach him on the subject. Since you only know him for a very short time he might become defensive and this could ruin the relationship between you two forever. I worked in the past with elderly people and I can tell you that they can be very stubborn and once there is an issue they will rarely change their view and try to make peace. You won't believe how much drama there is in retirement homes and that even people who are above 80 will stop talking to each other because of very minor things. My best advice would be to try and get some contact information to his children and have a chat with them first before talking to your neighbor directly. Since the children are already old, they should know how long their dad has been gambling and if there was an issue before. If his children think there is an issue it should be also them that talk to their dad directlly. It's much better to have a serious talk with your own family than with a stranger.

I dont really know how old he is because you did not mention it but judging from your topic it seems like he is quite old and it seems like you dont need to do that.

firstly he is old enough to have income from his pension and on the one hand his son is well established and can always give money to his parents so you dont need to worry about addiction because even if he gets addicted he is old enough to get worse I mean even if he is addicted he will not do things that are beyond reasonable limits so you dont need to worry and just let him be because he just wants to enjoy his old age by having the pleasure of placing bets at home, sitting back and relaxing while waiting for his old age to run out.

and what you have to do is just monitor him. If he might be addicted to doing things that cross the line, its better if you give him good advice, but that rarely happens to elderly gamblers.

Old people barely take advice from people who are younger than them because they have the believe sometimes that they are more experienced and have seen more of life than the young person giving them advice. So, if this senior citizen is a stubborn person and one of those kinds of old people, your advice will not be considered, and you will just be wasting your time. Instead of advising him to stop, try to introduce him to other kinds of activities that can be fun for him at his age.

It is important that you investigate whether his children really do not know that he is playing in online casinos. Once you know this, you will need to talk to him to find out what his sources of income are and how much money he earns. Once you have done these investigations, the next step is for you to tell him that you also play and ask him to show you how he plays, this will allow you to know how often he plays, how many hours he plays and how much money he spends playing. after you finish all the investigation and have proof that his children really don't know that he gambles in casinos, knowing that he earns little retirement money, knowing that he keeps putting all his retirement money in the casino

So the next step will be to get in touch with the children and tell them everything, it doesn't matter if the children and elderly people get angry or hate you, the most important thing is that you were honest and told them what you saw and showed them proof. Then whether or not they believe it is up to them. You did your part as a friend or as a neighbor of the old man. a true friend is one who takes harsh measures when necessary to save his friend, a good person, does everything to save other people, even if it means hating him. good luck with this case

NB: elderly people should not get involved in gambling, because they are more likely to get heart disease, any strong emotion could lead to their death. take this into consideration

In my country, we are not used to communicating with our neighbors too deeply, besides, it will be difficult to advise someone who is older than us. I know your intentions are good, but you just need to pay attention to developments. If you are a good neighbor, you should not interfere too much in other people's privacy and pleasure. , as long as he can still control it and within reasonable limits just to have fun.

We will never know why he gambles, there must be a reason that we may never know in detail, so I think it's enough to pay attention to him, after all there are still his children who might be able to help him if he ends up addicted, if he just lives alone without his children maybe we can help him as neighbors until he really needs our help, sometimes in life you have to have manners for older people, at least just respect them. 

He already made it this far, what is there to be worried about? He is getting money in his old age and even his children are doing their part, this old man is probably making more money than I am  so leave him be, he can look like an addict, I mean every gamblers are always a straight up addict to those who don't like gambling until they reveal their gambling strategy.

You should only feel concerned if you start noticing a change of mood, if he is always happy and friendly like he used to then things are going fine, old men likes doing math in their heads, he must have know how much he is getting every month and how much he can keep risking with gambling, at that older age what else will he even use money for? So I don't expect such person to be taking unnecessary risks.

You stated that he is gambling every weekend, that's even better than those gambling almost everyday, I don't see how you know that he is an addicted gambler, you noticing him to be an active gambler every weekend doesn't make him a addicted gambler, you need to move closer to him as a gambler for you to know if he is becoming an addict or not, as of right now, all you have is guessing.

This is about the concern of someone who sees his neighbor often gambling and wants to remind him about the dangers of gambling, especially since he is a widow and a retiree. The approaches may vary, but what is clear is that you can invite him to do other things that have nothing to do with gambling, such as sports, gardening or cooking so that he has other activities that keep him active throughout the day. I think her children will also agree if they see that their mother can do things that are more useful for her old age than just spending time gambling.

Maybe it's not a criticism but a suggestion so that he wants to do other more useful things. There must be something that can attract his attention so he wants to start trying to do it. You can ask someone else to help you and if he has started doing it, make sure he keeps doing it regularly so he can divert his attention from gambling.