Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him - page 5. (Read 754 times)

i think it would be better for you if you don't interfere in his affairs, you should know that an old man will be very difficult to command or advise, or if you don't want to get involved further in his life, you can tell his child about the activities carried out by his father because only his son has the right to forbid his father from gambling.  Gambling is a person's choice, for those who have nothing to lose when gambling, the prohibition you say will only be considered a passing wind, it is better for you to just make him like a friend, and continue to promote moral support to him and convince him. to stop one day, but still with gentle words and without the impression of coercion.

This is a situation that should be handled with extreme caution. First you do not want to upset him and second you do not want to sound like you are poking your nose in his business because you are not his kid, nor a family member, nor an attorney and you literally have no right to advise him on whatever lifestyle/activity he has decided to adopt.

Loneliness maybe one of his reasons why he's always online and gambling. If you feel that he's getting addicted to gambling you should try and be his friend and rather than talking him out of his gambling habit look for an activity that the both of you can engage in that is not gambling-related. It would help reduce his time online.

And also on the other hand not everyone is able to take advice well, or I mean if they are one of those people who do not like to be criticized by others regarding whatever they do then maybe they will say something unpleasant to you, especially on the other hand it is a new person in your environment in the sense that your social relationship is still too early with them. Yes, I also understand that maybe you care about them with the aim of helping them get out of the gambling activity through some of the suggestions you put forward, but in my opinion don't immediately take action like that, it's better to approach first, find out first whether the person is addicted or not and also if you can invite the person to chat to make sure and ask whether the activity has a bad impact or not on his life, and now after that you can give some effective advice.

And also on the other hand you have to find the right time to socialize with them especially with the aim of interfering with the activities they do, lest you be labeled as a neighbor who likes to interfere in other people's affairs. On the other hand, I am sure that one of the people in the family must have the right mindset and they will definitely know what to do to help overcome the addiction problem of one of their family members if they are really addicted.

It was clear that the widow had no one to guide and accompany her in every activity she did, including gambling activities, For me, give him advice and understanding about the dangers of gambling, give him understanding and views on gambling addiction, if you are a close friend who he trusts.

Because he has children for responsibilities that he must carry out in the future, tell your friend that gambling is not the best solution to solve economic problems in his life, there is still a lot that can be done to be able to make money for his and his children's living expensesfuture.

For me, your intentions are good, do what you can to advise the widow and give her a good understanding, before she becomes addicted.

Yes I agree with you as sometimes giving an advice to a stranger like in this case, he is your new neighbour he may get offended and your relationship with your neighbour may get a bit awkward.

I hope his family know about it and they know what is good or bad for him and there is no need to interfere in his life. It's better that you leave him on his own and let his family decide what is best for him. These days people do not like interference in the life specially when they are not your friends and not in your family.

How do you know he is getting addicted? Are you sure you are not mistaken being active for addiction? You already said he is retired, a pensioner and all his children are professionals... in my opinion, he is having fun. You don't need to advice him because he does not need the advice.

If you must advice him, you first ask question to know if there is anyway the gambling is impacting on him negatively. If there is no way he is feeling the effect, then there will be no need advising him.

You should at least be sure if he's getting addicted first. Because at such age just as you've mentioned he probably will be enjoying his alone time playing games on casinos. In my country, men of his are mostly found playing games of that sort and I don't find it addictive but rather as a means for them to exercise their body and brains for them not to be inactive. He's kids might also be aware of his gambling habit. so the best thing you might want to do for him is to spend more time with him when you are less busy and keep him company. that's if you truly care about him not being alone.

Usually I adivce people to gamble within limits but if I were a senior citizen and if I were widowed then I would enjoy the damn life however it is.
So in this case, you should let him be himself because there's nothing he can do by saving that money.
Now is the time to enjoy it and he is doing exactly that.

The first thing you should ask him is how long he has been active in online casinos and other gambling activities.?
You can only advise him depending on how long he has been actively engaging in gambling activities. Every elderly person certainly has a different past, maybe when they were young they were addicted to gambling so this habit is very difficult to break even when they are old.

You have to take a closer approach to protect his feelings when giving him advice. You can give advice when you are joking or in a good mood, usually the person being advised is more likely to accept advice from other people when they are in a happy mood.

I hope you know that elderly people get bored easily and most often missed their children, who knows playing casino is what he enjoyed and use in killing time since you said he is a widowed meaning he doesn't have a partner to share time with, playing that will definitely be one thing he loves doing the most just to be out of boredom, not thinking about life or been alone.

Something is also not clear, you need to know how he fund this casino because he will definitely have a way he fund it and if it's from money the children send for him, then I think it's better you inform the children or somebody closer to him. It might sound disrespectful as a neighbor to intrude into another person privacy and want to advice him on what to do and how to live his life.

How sure are you that he is getting addicted to gambling? I don't know if you can talk about things that you notice about the man that make you think he is getting addicted to gambling. You said he gambles only during the weekend, I don't see anything bad in that, but if he is really addicted to gambling, he should be gambling maybe every day or almost every day.

You said his children don't know about gambling addiction, it's better you keep it away from them. If the children don't notice it by themselves, they shouldn't hear it from you that their father is addicted to gambling. You shouldn't try to cause some problems in the family. If you are close to the person, you can just caution him about his gambling activities if he is going to listen to you, but if you are not close to him, then it's better you mind your business, don't involve yourself in things that will end up causing problems for yourself.

Gambling addiction among elderly people is much more common than we think.
But see, this is not a very serious problem.

Adults (not elderly) usually play because they want to make money and get rich, that's a fact!

An elderly person certainly does not have the intention of making money and becoming rich, because after reaching a certain age and physically depending on other people, a lot of money will not change their life. So why do elderly people gamble? For fun!
The problem is if your neighbor ends up committing his entire retirement to gambling or if he owes money to the bank, this could even affect his heirs' income in the future.

Other than that, I don't see many problems for him.

the damage I am pertaining here is the emotion, the possibility of ruining a relationship with your kids can be extremely hard for someone, especially for an old person, believe it or not, old people are pretty emotional when it comes to their relationship with their kids or grandkids, old people are also far more at risk at being depressed.  

having a lot of experience doesn't mean they'll be able to battle gambling addiction. also, as I said before, OP should think carefully about how he is going to do it.

I would say just let him be, since it's just new to you but probably he is doing that for a very long time, and if addiction becomes a cause for concern then eventually will run out of funds based on the assumption that he is living from his pensions. Another fact is, it is quite an impossible task to change the habits of a senior citizen all of a sudden and probably that is one of the few things he can enjoy now.

This person cannot get addicted to gambling anymore as he’s not a small child or teenager. This person is already exposed to and has experienced many things in his life already, which I believe people who get addicted to gambling or easily get addicted to gambling are those who gamble to get money, which this person you're talking about doesn’t need because he already has children. When he needs money, they will support him, so I’m sure he is not doing it for anything but to have fun.


I don’t think it is necessary because you know how old people behave, and this person has been doing this even before he met you, so don’t you think advising him may, of course, solve your problem? He will be thinking about something that he is doing even before he knows you, and suddenly you came and told me to stop. Which I believe he will see as bad; however, why don’t you just free him and let him continue his gaming activities as he has been doing since he is only doing it for fun and he has money already, even though he has already retired, but there is a pensioner monthly and also children to support him when he needs financial assistance, which is why I said you should just leave him.

From his explanation, one can clearly see that the man is likely engaging in gambling as a result boredom or just trying to keep himself busy since he's the only one at home and mostly do not have anyone to talk to.
I think the best thing to do in other to help the man is to try and introduce him to other gaming activities that an old man can engage in his leisure time which will help reduce his gambling activities. Gambling I know might be one thing he enjoys doing but getting addicted to it isn't good for an aged man

I understand your point here if the subject is not a senior citizen. What kind of damage to the family which a senior citizen can be done while he is just gambling on his own assuming you remove financial loss here? I assume that he is living on his own since this is the typical setup of senior citizen in my country so I’m not sure what kind of damage you are pertaining.

The subject here is an old guy probably has a lot of experience than us. Interfering others life might cause you a consequence which you can avoid if you just ignore unless you are a person who really want to dip on other personal problem then go on.


This is the right approach bro, Just observe first because I knew a lot of senior citizen that just using gambling as source of entertainment since most of their family is busy on their own life. Just help him if you knew that he is already showing sign of extreme addiction like what you said. But according to your description, He is just having fun since he have the money and I knew a lot of oldies playing gambling most of the time since they hangout with other senior citizens in there like the weekends bingo at mall.  

Well if you say he has children who are doing well and it's an advance man, I personally think he is just trying not be bored because so many folks out there see gambling as a event we can use to ease the mind and take it as our fun activity so maybe your neighbor is trying not to be bored and besides if he has the money and the one he is using isn't going to be of any damages to him them I see no problem with him finding out time to please himself.

He is retiree and has monthly income plus being a widow which makes him have relatively smaller expenses for living necessities so it is natural for him to carry out various gambling activities.
I'm sure he did it also to entertain himself and make gambling comfortable place to have fun without having to think about anything else.

If you want to give advice, it is better to give advice on how to manage finances in gambling and also remind to always have limits and also control emotions because woman will be more easily provoked by emotions when she experiences bad luck such as losing.
But you also have to approach this advice in way that the children know about so that there are no bad prejudices about what you are doing.

Its not about telling him to stop is a good thing or let him is a bad thing for you as his friendly neighboor.

You must know his background first, lets say he gamble $100 daily while he has $1M in his bank account or his sons send him $10k monthly.
It will be useless and after that he will keep the distance from you.
Different story when he cant pay the bills, food and he is poor.
That is the time for you as a friendly neighboorhood coin-investorman telling him to stop and yes with a soft approach.