Topic: A gambler's family action. - page 8. (Read 1498 times)

That was just an assumption from OP but what if that person, that gambler turned his life to nothing and committed huge debts? How could he face his family who wanted to change his gambling style? What I understand with the situation is that they wanted their brother to slow down his gambling habits and the only option they see is to urge casinos not to let him enter and gamble. But it never works and is helpless because the owner of the casinos has no right to decline someone if he never commits any trouble, in fact, they want more gamblers.

Is a simple question, for me I will come back and help my family especially my siblings because no matter any circumstance family is the only people that can stood by you in difficult times, so if I'm to be in his shoe I will come back and prove them wrong and also by empowering them.

But however listening to the whole story the family never did anything wrong because as a child they love so much they were only trying to stop him from going a wrong way which every parents will do the same to there children and however before the family send hs photographs to all the gambling shop to stop him from gambling was because he has become an addict already and has sold many properties, so the parents felt the only way for them to stop him is by doing what they did, so even if I'm the parents I will do the same.

Many people around me have made such mistakes when they win big. There is a case of a gambler who won about $50,000 and lost the entire money the same day because he lost control. But this doesn't erase the fact that many gamblers have maximized the money they won. One of my friends was able to achieve his lifelong dream of schooling at a European University after he won big. I suggest that every gambler should have a plan on how to use big wins and not waste them on luxury or lose them back. Big wins come a few times in a lifetime, hence we should be set to utilize these wins.

Assisting family members who have needs from a big win is not a bad idea.  Such support will make them know that gambling can sometimes be profitable. This might help to change the perception of some members of society that see gambling as immoral. I have an idea now to drill a water borehole in my rural community whenever I get a big win and I will inform the elders of the community that I got the money from gambling. It will help to reduce the negative view to hold against gamblers.

Indeed, what always happens to gamblers when they get big win is that they continue playing until they experience even bigger losses.
If gambler wins they should be able to make the best use of that win and when they continue gambling, win is meaningless or can be said to be vain.
When gamblers win it is return that we deserve and we should be able to enjoy it instead of returning it to the casino because when we lose we will definitely spend more money.

But when the gambler still thinks about his family and still makes family the most valuable thing, it is possible that he will definitely share the winnings with people he loves or buy some valuable things for them.
Even though these people reject the gambling they do, when they receive whatever they are given from the winnings, there is definitely feeling of gratitude and emotion because the gambler still cares about them and has forgotten what happened.

Due to lots of changes not only on things how they work but also into the community that we are living in on which its never been that the same anymore when it was a decade ago. Lots of changes specially on
the things that we are seeing now.Accessibility is also that too almost instant and information flied around instantly due to social media and advertisements could really be seen easily on the sites that you are hovering into on which means that exposure could really be that anywhere and everywhere on which means that our kids could really be able to make themselves be wary about those things
on which means that even on how strict we are when it comes to things should be followed, it would really be just that too easy to be bypassed.

On the time that we've seen that one of our family members had fell down into that verge of addiction then it would really be normal that we would be doing actions
which it would really be able to cut off that kind of engagement or involvement on which even if it means that they would really be needing
to step on someones right on doing so. Family doesnt care if it doesnt look ethical on other peoples views or not but still they would be continuing on doing that.

This is by far the most likely outcome, and if we are honest I think  everyone has made that mistake, however it is important that if at some point we get a big win, something that every single gambler would like to get at least once, that we do not waste that chance, as that is money that can be used to start something good on your life and allow you to skip a great deal of steps on the process of reaching the financial independence everyone is looking for.

These days adults are derailing from the ways they were being trained by their parents. Hence, the society gets even more difficult to control. I'd say that despite having greater possibilty of being effective, allowing kids above the age of 18 isn't a nice idea. Because not everyone of them are grown enough to take reasonable decisions against delaying the gravity of making easy money through gambling. Peer pressure still control these youths and only the strong or well trained can withstand the gravity that follows it. The worst part of gambling is playing or staking the money given to us by others, especially our parents. To stay on safe side, it's crucial to hand out spare cash to our kids, as pocket cash. Such that, whatever thing they do with the money won't affect the family financially. Whether they're adults or not. The world is becoming too wild and nobody can be trusted with huge sum of money, not even our kids. Most parents have been through countless heart breaks by their kids, who squander their hard earned money on gambling. However, it's good to test the loyalty and morality of our children, by giving them trust. But, when they begin to act strange, our punctured trust would lead parents to act the ways they do not expect. Hence, when investing money on our children, we have to be there because the money belongs to the parents of that child. Whenever, the child, begin to generate wealth for themselves they can spend their money, how it pleases them. Still it doesn't stop us from teaching them money management and laying strong financial or investment foundation for them to be responsible; money wise. As a bad financial behavior, affects the economic growth of not only the child's family, but the society too.

Because they love their loved ones families can sometimes to extremes that sometimes can be considered questionable, because all the other means failed to solve the issues of their loved ones, this may be wrong but they prefer it that way to protect one of their family to go astray further.


I will give them a portion to prove that I have no ill feelings about what they've done to me, if they accept the funds then all is good between us and I will stay away from them and be on my own since I have the money to manage myself and my gambling activity,

They don't want to see us in trouble because if a person doesn't have good self-control and decides to gamble, he may end up having problem after problem that will get him into trouble. The family doesn't want that to happen, so they are forced to do that to prevent us from having problems. In fact, we should be grateful to our families who are willing to help us avoid gambling in this way. Maybe the family is not perfect, but they want to provide help to us so that we avoid the problems caused by gambling.

We should be able to be responsible for our actions, especially if we want to gamble, so that we don't experience problems, let alone become addicted to gambling. If we can be responsible when playing gambling, maybe they won't do things like that because when we gamble, it makes them worry and anxious if we will gamble excessively or become addicted to gambling. They don't want us to experience something bad that could result in our lives falling apart, so they go to the extreme and threaten us.

Perhaps for us, it has gone too far because we don't know the real situation. But for those who experience this, maybe they also find it difficult to make such a decision, and they are forced to do it because they don't want to see their family members being irresponsible in gambling. Or it could be that the person has gotten too deep into gambling and has caused a lot of problems for their family, so they do this as a last resort. It can be considered normal because only in that way can the person realize that what he did was wrong and start to improve it.

I agree that families should be able to take a different approach and don't need to use methods like that because it will make the person embarrassed and uncomfortable to see. But whatever it is, they should discuss everything carefully and not use extreme things to stop the person from gambling.

Although gambling is not a bad thing but some society and religion sees it as odd and does not allow their people or congregation to partake in it so therefore some parents too do not wish for their child(ren) to also gamble as well. When a child is above 18 it is assumed that the child is matured enough to know what is right and what is wrong to some extent and would know what to do without supervision of the parents to take a decision on their own so therefore any child can take the best decision as it pleases them or seek the consent their parents or anybody they feel is okay to relate anything with in their life.

As for giving a child school fees to pay by themselves now, i think no parents does that for children below 18 who are still under their parents watch only those above that age and most of them are in the university so I believe they would be matured enough to know then right thing to do rather than gambling with their school fees.

I will quote this scriptures which I think is very much important to a child up bringing which says " Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

SOURCE

This story have to be judge by thinking if you have someone like that gambler in your family, because I won't allow such person to make decisions for the family, I am thinking that he is the head of the house that's why he was able to sell properties successfully,  I don't see a thing that wrong with what the family did, some people are behaving like they are possessed with gambling, they will get so closed to gambling as if it's a do or die thing.

Addiction with gambling has levels, some are top notched, they will even sell their wives and daughters to the brothel for some money to use in gambling, there are different stories like this around the world like those countries where poverty is the biggest problem, these set of people are very hard to control, nothing can work on them not even therapies can solve their addiction to gambling.

To me they don't went to far to help this man but it may not work, gambling addiction is something that you must break yourself, when your mind is made up nothing can hinder it again, and when you decide to stop gambling you will succeed, the only way this addiction can be won is if this man is ready to stop gambling himself.

Gambling is not a bad thing to allow your kids to do in the society but ensure they are above 18 years before you can allow them to do such a thing, but you need to guide them in some areas not to allow them to be addicted to it because once they are addicted that is were many kids use to do evil things to their parents by using their school fees to gamble and regret why they took such decision. I don't know Why some people don't use to start gambling with little money to see how it work to avoid anything that will make them to regret when they do not get the money back because, the more you gamble to recover your money back the more you are losing more  money.

I don't think the family can stop the young man not to gamble on this condition, but they should try their possible best to help the boy to get a good job that will be keeping him busy night and day, I believe it will make him to reduce the way he use to gamble.

This is not extreme, this is how casinos also worth, I have a cousin who is addicted to gambling way before. If he leaves the house at night and the wife knows that he will be gambling, he will call the casinos themselves and describe what the husband (my cousin), will look like and so he will be ban from entering the casinos. My casino will tell me he didn't know how it happened, but later on he understand that the wife called the casinos, describe what he is wearing and his looks and description and that's ti.


9 out 10, if a gambler won a lot of money, they will come back and play for more, resulting to a big lost. So I doubt that it will crossed his mind to share his winnings, but instead what in his mind is to continue to gamble again until he lose all that money.

  Not a lie you could be correct, family is everything and when family are all out for you they can take on unspecified action just to salvage you from any nest that is deteriorating your personality in as much as the end result is of a positive impact.


I concur with your reasons to share to share your money with them. There's an adage in my local parlance that says "all what we're struggling for in life in anyway to make money is fixated on making family proud and taking care of family". Therefore, if we now made money and not let your family benefits from it then it's an error. Although some persons wouldn't care.

It's funny to see a reaction close to mine, but contrarily a bit in the aspect that made your words funny; arresting your loved ones. Despite the action of these people or the damages they may have caused. We can't settle a fight with another fight. I think the best action is laying low and observing them from a distant. Because involving the police on this can add insult to the injury. Imagine it's a country where gambling is not legalized would that be an option? although this happened in a gambling friendly environment, yet the police still frown at gamblers. They're the society too, so it'll be disrespectful to embark on such a decision. The family will definitely face more difficulties, and no one would be glad to instigate double trouble in their home. What they did is very embarrassing no doubt and I see a future for the gambler as he may have a rethink. As nobody goes on without thinking of the bad treatment our loved ones has done to us. It's like an everlasting mark on the skin. Meeting a therapist is better than the police. A psycho therapist can swiftly handle the problem gradually. The best part of meeting a therapist is, at the end, the player can surprise his parents, by becoming a better citizen. Still, it baffles me you made this response, could you elaborate more on what may have led you to think this way? have you had any similar experience in your life? I've never seen this before and that doesn't mean I can't get angry to such extent if I were that gambler. But, paying back with love and care in a way that'll change me can be a better revenge. Thereby, helping me and the family instead of destroying the family or bringing more agony.

What do you mean by "extreme" ? Remember, family will go to lengths just to help their members get away from an activity that can also potentially endanger their situation. Personally, there exist no such extreme measure when it comes to solving the addiction of a person if the end result would be benefit to everyone.


I would definitely share it with them.

At the end of the day, my family members care about my life and livelihood as a whole. They will not attempt to stop my gambling activities if they know that I am being destructive in my lifestyle. Their intention is pure and good- they want me to stop and be responsible with my expenses, so it is natural for them to care.

I must say that your opinion is of utmost importance because I see no reason why such measures should be taken into consideration by the family members although they meant well as to stop the addiction but it is a measures taken too far because In the near future, he would be reminded by outsiders of his past and that would be a big stigma attached to him where ever he goes. In the other hand doing such can make him pretend that he has stopped gambling but believe me that would be the worse because they would not be able to keep track of his gambling lifestyle anymore which would be very dangerous than he used to be and when it gets to that point he might do the unthinkable with the mindset that his family does not matter to him since they could go a long way to expose and humiliate him publicly as an addicted gambler.

That's also a good way to do things right.
But I still believe the family didn't go extreme in what they did. How can we fight against large businesses like gambling platforms? What they did is just a step to avoid unnecessary spending of money by suing them which we all know could be a losing case because of their power.
The trouble will always end up with the gambler and not the business because he is the one who got addicted to gambling and I don't think the gambling business could be tried by that reasoning unless they are in the wrong space (near residential), illegal, don't pay taxes, and other means to close them down.
It's true that talking calmly is still the powerful approach to make the gambler change but sometimes it doesn't work that way anymore and those close to them must use extreme measures to help him out.

This is the first time that I would read of a family going this extreme length to try and stop their kid from gambling. There is no positive effect this would  have on the boy they had the option of being loving and kind but chose the cruel route because that is what it is. If I were the boy, I'll get the arrested and make them pay damages . At least he'll be able to recover all the monies he lost from gambling through this means and it would teach them a lesson that they should let him be so he can live his life.

In the case of the topic of discussion, I'm of the opinion that
Went too far in their bid to helping their brother. You can't help someone by destroying his name and reputation.  You don't cure an addiction by making it public, that's a wrong approach.

Do you know that even if such person manages to overcome his addiction after the family exposed his problem to the public without his consent, he will easily be reminded of his past by people at any little argument. This will immediately make him depressed and remorseful. 

While family help is important, the approach must be carefully chosen to avoid creating a bigger problem while solving a problem.