for me, when a gambler still has good awareness and control then it is a responsible gambler. This case is not only about the money spent in gambling, but about the impact of the actions you take and when you can keep them well then of course, you are still a responsible gambler.
There must be tons of different definitions available for finding responsible gamblers because there needs to be multiple things a gambler must take care to achieve the level of responsibly gambling. Still I agree, not only how you are gambling will not define you as a responsible gambler but how effectively you are handling the consequence of gambling also should be considered to call you a responsible gambler.
If we use money from a loan or selling important items at home, it is no longer healthy gambling. This will lead to losing everything.
All those unhealthy things happening around the gambling should be easy indications for a gambler is going irresponsible with respect to their gambling activities. Unfortunately when we are into gambling excitements (later same turns as addictions), we definitely fail to distinguish what are good and what are unhealthy.
I believe that not everyone who gambles can become a responsible gambler.
For example, I know many people who were going to make money on exchanges by reselling their currencies or cryptocurrencies. But there is a colossal difference between those who nevertheless became a professional trader, and those who just tried to trade, lost everything and did not care about this occupation. According to my observations, only 1 in 20-30 people can become a professional trader.
The same applies to when we define as a responsible player. Not everyone can become one. It depends on character, patience, stable psyche and, of course, on the analytical mindset.