Topic: BiPolarBob's Tell-A-Joke Round #1 (Prize: 0.12345 btc) (Read 3562 times)

Thanks for the great jokes everyone! There were lots of great ones

This round's prize goes to Wendigo. I also really, really hate hipsters. 

Extra thanks to everyone who posted on-topic jokes

What do Women Want

That's all Women want....


...normal simple ring





screen shot pc







...small wedding party







...honeymoon at any place





...small house for the kids to run around




...lovely children





...husband is a family man





...but work hard







...small car for shopping





...another car for kids






...some collections






...shoes for each occasion






...some nice outfits






...a bit of cosmetics





...a bit of makeup







...overseas trip once a year




...more often on domestic trips






...dinners






... Presents occasionally





...finally, some securities and bitcoins (about 1000 BTC).







Excellent wishes !!!! What about the Climax...
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Final Stage of Husband after fulfilling those things !!

[

Bitcoin obviously rules



Haha Right rules

What did the dollar tell the bitcoin?

Take over the world, son? Why, you can't even get into a stripper's pants!

Apparently he is "Working on new MtGox features" too

says his personal text.

the thief just don't know well about bitcoin and give a cash to bitcoiner 

Husband : sweety, why are you crying...?
Wife : im reading book, has a very sad ending..
Husband : what book?
Wife : your bank book.

There's no blacker humor than this
Mark Karpeles still has Exchange "bitcoins on mtgox!" in his signature

https://bitcointalksearch.org/user/magicaltux-2134

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

Critic : Ah! And what is this ? It is superb! What soul! What expression!

Artist : Yeah ? That's where I clear the paint off my brushes.

I always like quickseller but at times he seems too rude too.

Q : Have you ever heard of a baby who is able to drink all the elephant’s milk in a day?

A : I’ve never heard of it. That is impossible. Whose baby?

Q : baby elephant 

no , only the hair on the face of the many uprooted

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

Why would bitcoin be awesome DJ (deejay) ?
Because it can do massive drops  

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"