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Topic: Free Tradecoins (TDC) - Just Post Jokes - page 4. (Read 7284 times)

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Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey, what're you in for?"

 "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little worried," said Tim.

 "Oh, don't worry about it," Sammy said. "I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!"

 "Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. "That's not half-bad. So, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?"

 "I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," Sammy answered.

 "Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!"



Here is my Wallet: GJuxiqE5h85PS1B1xg8s158krVWToYwbma
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How do men sort their lundry?

Two bundles: "dirty" and "dirty but wearable".




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Why did the chicken cross the road?

James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.
Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I'm a doctor not an farmer!
Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.
Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?
Worf: For the honor of all chickens.
Counselor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. I could sense it.
Computer: Insufficient information.

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Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar.  The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink.  He replied, "I think not."  And he vanished.

The bartender asked Georg Ohm what had happened, but Ohm resisted giving any answer.

Meanwhile, Gustav Hertz was having such a great time, that he promised to return in the future at a much greater frequency.

Robert Boyle commented that he thought everyone was under too much pressure to come up with an answer to what was happening.

Erwin Schroedinger tried to explain that in the absence of an observer, Decartes left but at the same time did not leave.

But Alexander Volta disagreed stating there was a potential difference between his staying or going.

James Watt had had a bad day and said he had come in just to let off a little steam.

Charles Darwin refused to take a stand on the days events as he was waiting to see what would evolve.

Thomas Edison stated that he found the whole thing illuminating.

Andre Ampere helped the bartender ascertain that all the statements were kept current.

Heisenberg, when asked his opinion, replied, "I can't be certain."

Einstein just shrugged and said, "It's all relative."

Then the bartender noticed that Carl Sagan was there.  He walked over to him and asked, "Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?"  Sagan replied, "No.  Why there must be BILLIONS and BILLIONS of bars out there."

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I was gonna tell you a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen. But, NaH.

I tried to find a good chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Chemistry jokes are Boron but physics jokes have potential.

So I told a chemistry joke in class one time, but I got no reaction.

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium then you are going to have to barium.

A photon walks into an inn. The innkeeper asks, "Hey, do you need help with your luggage?" to which the proton responds, "No, it's okay. I'm travelling light."

I was once told that I should never trust an atom, because they make up everything.

So the past, the future, and the present all walked into a room at the same time. It was tense.

A Neutron walked into a bar and asked how much it was for a beer. The bartender replied, "Oh, for you sir, no charge"

I don't actually know any electricity jokes... isn't that shocking?

So a Higgs Boson particle walks into a church, and the priest asks "why are you here?" The Boson replies "You kiddin'? You can't have mass without me!"

If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

You know, if Iron Man and the Silver Surfer team up, they would be Alloys...

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sent
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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion?

I cry when I cut an onion.

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all sent Smiley
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Eating Grass

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine
when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver
to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass," he asked one man?
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house", instructed the lawyer.
"But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!"
"Bring them along!" said the lawyer.
He turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too."
But, sir, I have a wife and six children!" he answered. "Bring them as
well! " answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows says," Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass is
almost a foot high!"

 Grin Grin Grin

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I only said one sentence

Jim's nostrils large, because every day he was digging booger

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NO JOKE

but i like TDC

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THS more  more more
sr. member
Activity: 415
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This topic is brilliant! Very creative way of donating!

Here's one I came up with myself:

A database visits the doctor. Doctor says: "I see what you're here for already; relational problems."

I don't have a TDC address so donate this one to yourself ^_^
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Merit: 500
 Grin A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound’ and another sign that says ‘Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.’
So he asks the man behind the cashregister, “how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?”
The man replies, “do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?”  Grin

Here is my wallet: GJuxiqE5h85PS1B1xg8s158krVWToYwbma
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milkin'' him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.

As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!


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Want some pi with that?
oh and sent Smiley
full member
Activity: 168
Merit: 100
Want some pi with that?
I haven't downloaded the tradecoin client, but when I do can I get some tradecoins?
Anyway, here's my joke:

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

Yup, just post your address when you download it
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How do you tell if a black bitch is pregnant?

 Stick a banana up her snatch, if it comes out half eaten, you know theres another monkey in there!
sr. member
Activity: 476
Merit: 250
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh!
I haven't downloaded the tradecoin client, but when I do can I get some tradecoins?
Anyway, here's my joke:

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
full member
Activity: 167
Merit: 100
What does a macho say to HER after SHE sucks his dick?

"And ..., how was I?


Ok, that was a macho. But what does a super macho say when SHE sucks his dick but he doesn't get it up?

Does it happens to you frequently?




Is translated from german. hope it works.


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