Topic: Free Tradecoins (TDC) - Just Post Jokes - page 7. (Read 7293 times)

sent; I wasn't joking about the nerdy jokes you know

one for Luke Jr

Q: Whats the difference between acne and a priest?
A: Acne waits until you're 14 to cum on you're face


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nice

Please post a TDC address to receive payment

OK, one of my favorites

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes a sip, and then suddenly the most incredible piano music he's ever heard starts up. He looks around, but sees no piano, no speakers, no discernible source for the music.

Puzzled, he asks the barman, "Where is the music coming from?"

The barman answers, "Well I've got this little guy about one foot high, playing this little piano under the bar."

"No, seriously", says the guy, "where is it coming from?"

"Well, if you don't believe me, take a look and see for yourself", says the barman.

The guy gets up, walks around the bar and looks underneath. Sure enough, there's this tiny little man playing a tiny little piano. The little man waves and asks if he has any requests.

Amazed, he asks the barman, "Where in hell did you get that little guy?"

The barman answers, "Well, I was taking the trash out into the alley and saw this old dirty lamp. I rubbed the dirt off it, and suddenly this genie popped out and said 'I'll grant you one wish, but one wish only! So now I have this little man."

"Wow!", says the guy, "is that lamp still out there?"

"I guess so", says the barman, "go out and take a look."

The guy rushes out the back door and sure enough, there's this dirty old lamp. He picks it up and rubs it. Out pops the genie and says, "I'll grant you one wish, but one wish only!"

Beside himself with excitement, the guy yells, "I want a million bucks!"

The next instant the alley is filled with a million quacking ducks.

Disgusted, he walks back into the bar and says to the barman, "Man, this genie of yours has a real problem with his hearing!"

"No kidding", says the barman, "did you really think I asked him for a 12-inch pianist?"


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Here is one more:

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

"I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.

Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.

Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children."

Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."


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sent; extra TDC for star trek/programming/element/math/generally nerdy jokes - the above one was pretty funny though

Yeah, I'm a nerd

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The Joke:

A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
 ''You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."

Here is the Joke:
A grey goose walks into a bar and says" I'd like a scotch on the rocks." The bartender looks at the goose funny, but goes to get him his drink anyway. The bartender continues to look at the goose so the goose asks, " Hey, what's your deal? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" The bartender says, "Besides the fact that you are a talking goose? Well I actually have a drink named after you? The grey goose replies, "You have a drink named Ron?

Here is my Wallet: GJuxiqE5h85PS1B1xg8s158krVWToYwbma

STD Coin!

well, I'd rather only once to spread the coins around. If you really want to post twice then I suppose that is alright but then I ask you to try to spread some of your coins around

how many times we can post jokes and receive reward?

a boy told another
-why are you crying?
, is that even come blood test
- You scared?
- If because my brother told me you pricked your finger with a needle
  to hear that the other began to mourn, the other says
-ah also come to a blood test
  the other responds
  -no, I am even urine test




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My friend just tried posting the funniest joke in the history of the universe, but he died from uncontrollable laughter.
Please donate so I can buy him a nice funeral : GdcEKnhdmSxd3ocMSC2Z22Ebdy7EgMbHSo

Hehhe

I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar

nice jokes, keep em coming

Lmao, way to start it off.

I've a few.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

Satoshi is working in his basement when he hears a booming voice from above: "Satoshi, sell your BTC." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Satoshi, sell your BTC for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his BTC. The voice says ‘Satoshi, go to BitVegas." He asks why. "Satoshi, take the $3 million to BitVegas." He obeys, goes to the minecraft casino. Voice says, "Satoshi, go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Satoshi, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Satoshi gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Satoshi, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Satoshi, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Satoshi shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me, Satoshi says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

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Awww only 1 k.

Hmm how about this one : A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Following the recent announcement that all available humor has been used, and is now being recycled, a very unexpected reactionhas occurred in Congress. Responding to a flood of calls and letters,, members of both houses of Congress have come together to attempt to resolve the problem. In a rare show of bipartisan cooperation, a majority of Senators and Representatives signed a letter to the President asking him to release some of the US strategic reserves of humor.
It is a little known fact, but the United States keeps a large reserve of humor, in a manner similar to that in which oil reserves are stored. Located in abandoned salt caves buried deep in Louisiana, the humor is stored for times of national emergency and general unhappiness.
Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, in a statement made during a press conference to announce the letter stated: "The American people have spoken. The vas majority of the comments we have all received have been from people who are tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again. Granted, there are some that are true classics, and one never grows tired of hearing them, but too many are marginal the first time one hears them, and they do not get any better with time. I would urge Mr Clinton to act swiftly, and to release some of the humor that has been stored away for years. It is in the best interest of the country to do so."
Providing counter point, alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, responded: "Few know this, but one of my duties as Fed chairman is to be the honorary Commissioner of Comedy. It is my belief that there is sufficient humor in the economy, and that an infusion of additional humor could lead to comedy inflation. currently, we now enjoy the lowest rate of comedy inflation in 30 years, and the Humor Retention Index HRI) is at the lowest that it has ever been. Just look at Al Gore. His hRI is so low that after he hears a joke, he forgets it before it reaches his brain. Releasing humor reserves at this time is ill-advised."
When asked for comment, Al Gore responded: "What's a joke? What's a brain?"
all of the arguments were made moot when it was reported by the FBI that the humor reserves had all disappeared. During an unrelated investigation, the FBI had received information that there might be an attempt made to obtain American humor by the Chinese, and when a check was made of the vaults, they were empty. Addressing a Senate Investigating Committee, Attorney General Janet Reno stated: "Our investigation initially centered on the Chinese government, but we quickly exhonorated them. Our investigation found that the humor in the strategic reserves had been secretly removed by President Clinton, and sold to the Indonesians. For a donation of $25,000 and a pair of jogging shoes, Indonesian nationals were given a night in the Lincoln bedroom and all of the humor that they could remember. Evidently, this went on for some time. We finally got a break when one of our agents made the connection with large numbers of laughing Indonesians found in the vicinity of the White house, not wearing shoes, and carrying armloads of towels monogrammed with 'LB'."
A white House spokesman read a statement from Mr Clinton. "I don't see anything illegal or improper about telling a few jokes to the gardner or cook. If he wants to give me the shoes off his feet, who am I to turn down a friendly gesture like that. And if that same cook or gardner wants to donate $25,000 to my campaign, he has every right to do so. As for the Lincoln bedroom, these people have to sleep somewhere, and the Lincoln bedroom is not for sale. However, renting it for the night is not out of the question."

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Inflation#ixzz2XSiPEIxq

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