I never blamed god for the things that happened. I blamed him for sitting idly by and letting them happen, despite being supposedly omnipotent, just, and loving. There was nothing just or loving about letting what was happening to continue to happen.
I can understand that. I felt like that with the guy that abused me. Why would God just allow it to happen and not intervene at the time? You will probably disagree with my reasoning, but I do think it comes down to the whole "free will" debate. We are allowed to hurt each other. We are allowed to make our own choices. God does choose to intervene at times. He did for me, but it took much longer than I wanted for sure.
Ok, but let's examine what happens when he doesn't intervene:
The claim is that god is omnipotent - he can see everything, do anything, and know everything that has happened or will ever happen.
The claim is that suicide is a cardinal sin - it goes directly against "Thou shalt not kill," results in a murder before one can ask forgiveness, and throws the gift of life right back into god's face.
So, god creates a girl, who is born into an abusive family. She is generally a nice and caring girl, polite and friendly to everyone. But as she grows up, the abuse continues. Good sees it, but does nothing. The abuse slowly increases to where the young girl can't handle it any more, all while god still does nothing. At this point god knows exactly what will happen if he doesn't intervene, yet he still just sits and watches. And, as expected, the girl (I think she was 12 or 14 at the time?) takes her own life, just as god knew she would, and ends up going straight to hell. So, in short, god created an innocent girl, for the sole purpose of putting her through eternity of living and post-living hell. And he does this over and over again with hundreds, maybe thousands of kids over centuries - creating innocent life for the sole purpose of sending them to hell before they are even old enough to make rational decisions about life.
Why?Ask your god that, and let me know if he gives you an answer.
I think you are right. There is a sense of fairness in each of us and when something does not seem "fair" we can't help but question. Because I believe God is just and fair, then something does not work with the entire "Suicide is a cardinal sin" idea. And I agree that if God was not fair, then why should we serve him?
So, it might surprise you, but I don't believe that suicide is a cardinal sin.
This is where I differ from most Christians. I struggled with the whole idea of how a loving God could send people to hell who like the girl were suffering from such horrid things they took their own life. Or what about the people who never got a chance to even hear about Jesus and make that choice? Talk about unfair? Just because you are born into a family that is not Christian, and you never have the chance to even accept Jesus you go to hell? That is unfair too. Hence why I did some soul searching on this.
Christians get so dogmatic in the simplistic interpretation of hell and it leads to all kinds of problems. I had a professor in college that mentioned that the English bible has taken places in the afterlife such as "Sheol and Hades" and simplified the places with "hell" instead. The problem with this is "hell" has become what we all think of eternal flames and eternal punishment. Once you are there, you have no chance but to suffer there forever.
In Catholicism purgatory is believed to be a temporary place the dead go to. The word "purgatory" is not mentioned in scripture though. However, Sheol and Hades are mentioned. I think that perhaps there is some hidden truth in the idea of purgatory however. Although the idea of praying for people in Sheol or Hades or paying for indulgences I don't agree with. But it is something that I think the Protestant churches have ignored.
Basically I believe that when Jesus was in the grave for the 3 days before he rose again he was speaking to the "dead" in a timeless place. I believe that all people who never had a chance to accept him, or who had a horrible life like that girl, will get a chance there. Just like here, people will have the chance to accept or reject him though. Perhaps Jesus is even more merciful to those knowing what they had to endure? I would say knowing Jesus like I do, that he would certainly reach out with love and compassion and comfort those who had to suffer so much! It says that Jesus holds the keys to death and the grave in Revelation; "I am the living one. I died, but look--I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave." Also in 1 Peter 18-19 it says "Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit. 19 So he went and preached to the spirits in prison"— I believe that means he spoke to spirits that never got the chance to accept him, for all of time.
In discussing this with other Christians many argue with me. They have been taught that everything is so "black and white" and it is really hard for them to see beyond that. Also, there is the concern that in accepting that there is a way for people to accept Jesus after death we may not be as "evangelical". There is often a desperation among Christians thinking that if they don't force others to believe like they do they will instantly go to hell after death. I guess I have become more "relaxed" than I used to be in that. However, that said, I do have a greater trust that God is fair. I suppose the reason I still feel compelled to share with others is that life without Jesus is not easy. It can be a lonely dark place. Life with Jesus, although not easy, is filled with hope, joy and love. I am thankful that I can believe and trust in a God that is truly good, loving and kind.