I could not agree more. You just have to trust me that this gift is an exception.
But you're right, it's giving too much off the bat. Maybe I'll still do it, but give her a little more time first. Like you said, "walk the line".
Easier said than done though sometimes... discipline... discipline...
Gifts are a way of saying someone "Thank you so much!". That's why we give gifts to significant others in our lifes. Giving a gift with nothing yet to thank for, changes the nature of that gift. It becomes an "offering to appease the gods", and looks like you are tying to "buy" affection, trying to take a shortcut, or trying to compensate something. Win her first by
talking, they you can decide to "thank her" (give her a gift) for being part of your life or not.
If you already had some time together, that's great. It shows that her initial interest level in you is not zero!
It was during work, so she was right in her comfort zone. That's also good at the start because she won't feel the pressure of anything and will be more open.
Use baby steps. After getting to know her better during work hours, at least a few times,
only then you ask her for a coffee
before or after work (the
next comfort zones;
before is time-limited (more comfortable),
after may not be; one or the other depends on your standing), when you start feeling she will probably have no reluctance in accepting it. Don't be too eager. Remember,
baby steps and a healthy dose of patience -- you need to give her time to increase her own interest level in you, since she's already with someone.
Bottom line, you want gradually for her to know you as much as you want to know her. Only then you'll know if you really like this girl. Remember that looks are great at first, but no relationship thrives on looks alone.
And above all, be honest. You want her to know who you
really are. Lying is only a form of fear. There is nothing to be afraid here. Always have the guts to be a Man, with a capital M.