I have now sent support tickets to both exchanges
ahhh great, so Poloniex API has been sending out transactions without Payment ID, even if you input everything correctly. So now my account wont be credited on BTER and Poloniex can't man up to the mistake and send me a duplicate tx. 100 XMR is effectively lost in the ether.
Stay away from Poloniex, what a bunch of amateurs
The coins will have arrived in BTER's wallet. Make sure you provide their support with the transaction ID (TXID) and hopefully, given the circumstances, they'll credit your account. Since they will actually have your coins, they just won't know who's they are.