Topic: Lies told to cover up gambling habit - page 3. (Read 1194 times)

Everyone doesn't need to have the same reason behind lying, everyone has a story behind it. I also agree that no matter what happens, we should never lie. It should be taken because we have a saying that a lie has no legs, a lie can be caught anywhere, and it always leads to shame, not only that, but we lose our importance in the eyes of people. We can never be believed, so resorting to lies cannot be useful in any situation.

I think one of the main reasons why people hide their gambling habits is that when people lose money or are afraid of losing, they hide their success from the world. People like to boast but they want to hide their failure from everyone. The main reason is that losers often hide from others that they used to gamble or play and they are quite good at it and have never lost money. Another major reason for lying is that gambling is not allowed in some religions, so people hide it from others.

If this lie can keep you safe for a while, I don't think it's a problem. However, it is better when you lie to cover up your losses in gambling, you also instill in yourself not to gamble anymore.
If you lie but still have thoughts of recovering your losses, over time the lie will be revealed and you will lose everything, including money and the trust of the people around you.

Why would the robbers steal your money and beat you at the same time? Seems like a waste of energy for nothing. Just kidding.
I never had to lie to my friends and family about my gambling habits, mostly because I'm a pretty moderate gambler.
All types of addicts start lying to their friends and relatives in order to cover their addiction. The only time I lied to my parents was back in high school, when I wasn't going into class because I wanted to play poker with my friends(but we didn't use money to bet, so this can't be considered gambling). This is my only lie related to a gambling game, but I didn't bet actual money back then.

It seems like never before, because I have never told anyone about my gambling activities until now.
Every person lies there must be a reason, and the stories you find on Reddit are just lies that can be said to be funny, I mean what he said to his wife must have been said by other men too but what he was thinking was not about gambling but other things, for example, other women 

However, the lies you are doing are quite dangerous in my opinion, even though you are a responsible gambler, but as an active gambler, of course, we have been in a phase where we can't control ourselves and gamble beyond our capabilities, so this can disrupt our finances and even our relationship with our partner when she finally finds out and you have spent a lot of money, telling the truth to our partner may one day be useful because she becomes the person who can control our gambling when has exceeded the limits.

Nothing is wrong with sharing our gambling experience with our loved ones. It helps in regulating compulsive gambling. Although the spouse must be tough enough not to get involved into gambling as well. But gambling discussion is the awareness a gambler needs to creates amongst people around him, not everyone. The important ones who could stand when things begin to go wrong in the process. So hiding the habit from such people has its disadvantages and could lead a player to suffer alone his gambling addiction. Gambling with no body to share information about how the gambling went could be boring.

I don't prefer gambling alone, even when I do, they'll be nothing to hide, especially when asked. Not just in situations like in the Op. But, a case where I'm asked if I gamble? Lying about that is wrong. It also depends on the person who asks the question, the answers can be twisted to make things clear for the person. At least, he wouldn't think of joining the game. All conversation with such people should be based on true experiences. Which could make them smile over the mistakes made by gamblers. Not promoting wins as a factor, is also a good method of handling non addicts in a conversation, so, they wouldn't think of becoming a gambler.

I think the crux of the issue comes down to balance and self awareness.

Gambling, like any other activity, should be something that adds value or enjoyment to life without becoming the focal point that diminishes it. The concept of lying especially when linked to an activity supposed to be enjoyable indeed signals a deeper issue like potential addiction. It's a slippery slope when enjoyment turns into compulsion and deceit becomes a mechanism for managing that compulsion.

Lying over things like gambling doesn't show any form of responsibility. People are not meant to do things that will make them lie due to gambling. In such cases where by a gambler begin to build new ideas subconsciously within himself he would think lying is the right thing to do in most situations. But in the Op's context of writing I don't consider that a reason to lie. As it doesn't warrant lying in the first instance. Players are required not to start out a fresh idea in them that seem irresponsible. Coming up with a thought that places gambling ahead of someone else is bad. That means when spending time with such people the gambler would think more of gambling. Thereby reducing quality conversation between both people.

Hence, if the player is allowed enough time he would focus on gambling than his family. Which is wrong. The timing should not be unbalanced. A player can be more interested in gambling. But not to such an extent. It's is inadmissible, in some sense that players should be seriously focused on those that matters, non gamblers. These are the advantages a gambler has but fails to see it. without his spouse, if the player gets addicted he would face more struggle, dealing with it alone. Showing care to non gamblers is important, because things could change and the player gets addicted. So, gamblers should also be good to non gamblers especially when the player is not compulsive.

I don't think the gambler in this post made this statement to cover up a gambling habit, it's just being very upfront about how he thinks the relationship is going or in a sense, a reflection of how the relationship with his wife is going, and in my opinion, it's a little unfair for the guy to just assume that he's already addicted to gambling, even though he's probably doing this every night. Plus let me ask you this, are you really going to be upfront about how you feel with your wife? Not even because you afraid of her or whatnot, are you really going to break your wife's heart, with literally nothing to gain for? It doesn't make sense to not lie in this situation, and no, I'm not doing this just because I like to play the devil's advocate or something.

Sometimes, there are things better kept to yourself, especially if it's not gonna bring any form of benefit to the person you'll be confessing it to. Do you think the wife's gonna do something about this, perhaps make his life even better and more fulfilling just so he'd look her way and quit the late night blackjack? I don't think so, matter of fact, this might even be grounds for divorce, something that I don't think this guy's looking forward to.

There's actually no deeper meaning with that. Someone will say that they're for the hobby but gets emotional when they're losing money and seem to be not prepared for it.

That's true, we're all for it. Whether we admit it or not but I guess it also depends on the mood that we're having. Like if we're happy and losing today isn't a problem, we can reason out that we're only gambling for fun and not actually for the money.

We've got mood swings so reasonings are changing.

Honestly, reading this thread makes me wonder, why lie at all? I mean with so much deception in the real world it seems that home should offer respite not another arena for defense. Every day, we face challenges, work through problems and endure constant stress. We yearn to return to a safe environment where we can relax, play, and rest before facing another day.
Other side, if lying becomes not just a defense but also a source of pleasure or a thrill in gambling (wondering whether you will be caught or not), then it may seem okay. (Im lie, its not okay, its could be a sign of addiction) 

let me throw in a bit more to think about. People who play for fun are unlikely to put their monthly salary on the line. That's kinda like believing in free money.
People who gamble responsibly also take responsibility for the amounts they spend. You can spending money on a party, attractions, or a restaurant. And you don’t really regret dropping cash on good times, cause that’s what you went out for, right? Joy, fun, a break from the daily grind. After all, you paid for the pleasure. If the restaurant told you during dinner that you had become our 100th visitor and we are giving you your money back for dinner, this would be a nice bonus. But even without it, you would still enjoy the spending. The whole joy of gambling, its not in the winning or the losing but in the playing, provided you're playing it smart and within limits.
 
It’s all about what you’re telling yourself when you lay down that bet. Are you in it for the thrill or are you lying to yourself, trying to make the pain of a loss feel a little less painful? It’s a fine line and where you stand well it depends a whole lot on your mindset and how deep your pockets are when you decide to play.

This is why is good to be opened with your partner. When you communicate with them do not use words that are ambiguous that even when they do  not understand, they cannot ask you what it means exactly. I think that he may not have told his wife directly that the favourite part of his day was gambling and it is not good because someday when they have a very heated argument, he would go on to blurt it out.

And how do we think it will make her feel. I think that we should all avoid any conversation that can put in in this position where we neither lie and can't tell our partners the truth. Since he is good at hiding his addiction, he should go get some secret therapy such that before his wife knows what's happening, his gambling will be under control.

We need to be honest when it comes to gaming. Things get worse when you hide them. If we're being honest, thats where the power is. It is not about being weak; it is about being in charge. You know the risks and clearly define your own limits. That is sensible, and it keeps you in charge. Sharing it with others builds trust. Perhaps someone can assist you in managing your life. Thats smart to be responsible. Its not about judging; its about keeping a hobby that could become addicting from getting out of hand. Finally, the best thing you can do is face the truth straight on.

Some can find it funny but I would be guilty if I have such a confession. Gambling is only hard to resist but I can only hope that I will have the courage to confess with my wife one day and hopefully she will still forgive me and allow me to play and the good part is that she will join me now. That's great to hear that you don't lie about your gambling habits but if only we have such control as yours, maybe we also didn't get to a point where we are now.

Gambling is not like any other normal activity because some religions or countries can restrict it. For those who don't, they should follow your advice there, to ensure that no problems are going to get experienced a long the way.

The majority are gambling for money, that is the reality. It is possible any of you guys is one of those gamblers who can't afford to lose and blame other people for your losses. I was skeptical of those who were saying just for fun as this is not the main reason, I might consider it if they are rich but if these words are coming from poor and average people, that is impossible.

As a gambler, we know what is in our mind when gambling - that is to win. It means that we are in the chase of money, not for fun or entertainment.

Well, you are right, but the other guy is right too, so, let's just come to an agreement that the both of you are right.
It's no doubt, absolutely true that the majority of people who gamble today and claim they are doing it for fun, aren't actually gambling for fun but just using that statement to try to convince their minds not to feel depressed over their losses to gambling.
I personally have been a victim to this, I can attest to the fact that there was a time in my life when I usually tell people, and in doing so, I am also trying to convince myself, that I am only gambling for fun, when deep down in me, I know fully well that is a lie, because to be honest, I am deeply hungry for a win.
We can agree within ourselves that no one actually derive joy from losing money, and even when for example, someone actually still try to be joyful after losing money, it honestly depends on the amount of money they lost, if it's a tiny amount of money, like an amount that is very small compared to what the person is earning on weekly or monthly basis, then we can indeed agree that it's possible to lose to gambling and still be happy, but then on the other hand, it's completely a big lie to see someone who is clearly losing an amount that is considered to be big, some amount on the norm, they really can not afford to lose, and still claim to be happy because they are just gambling for fun, it's a lie many of us tell ourselves just to make ourselves feel alright, mostly after having encountered loses we never planned for, this convinces our mind, and helps us not to think too much concerning the loss.

Your mentality and other gamblers based on fun is different. The way you get fun that's not the same way people get their fun. Fun can come from entertainment and hobbies. That is why you see serial killers and people doing some crazy things all in the name of fun. So if you hear someone saying they gamble for fun then am not surprised because I know its possible.

Gambling can be very fun when you have enough money and you dont feel any pains when you lose. There are weird people who are like that, the fun there is they derive joy from the wins and loss gambling gives to them.

Try a deeper meaning, if you read the truth about why someone can claim that gambling is a hobby of his to seek pleasure, here I am not trying to find validation, but look at how a person treats a hobby whatever the field is, and if someone is impulsive then he is trapped in the hobby itself which causes addiction, then there is no such thing as a hobby anymore in him, because if you look at me personally I come when I want and gamble to feel happy, especially when I am with friends.

It is true that winning will bring great pleasure into our lives, and losing will get sadness is the doctrine that occurs, but it is not that simple if you understand what is called seeking entertainment in gambling, and the name of the entertainment place definitely requires you to spend money.

You will always gamblers tell that they are there to gamble for fun but when they win, it is giving more fun. Ans when they are on a losing streak, it is no longer fun.

It is entertaining and fun to gamble but it is certainly a lie that gamblers who tell that, are only actual for fun.

Another big fucking lie is that it's a hobby or I'm doing it for fun, your doing it for fun and it's costing you a fortune then you must be a fucking out of your mind, I've heard some person saying that they take gambling as a hobby and that is the biggest fraud lie anyone told himself, do you feel bad when you lose? Yes, then how is that fun, fun is supposed to be entertaining not to make you sad about lose.