Chelsea would be the ideal scenario for him
Mourinho to Chelsea just cannot happen for the third time, no because he doesn't suit them, but for me it's cos his relationship with the Chelsea faithfuls has deteriorated over the past seasons.
Jibes have been thrown at him on his return to the bridge with united, also Jose being the controversial figure he is kept painting it to the Chelsea faithfuls that he's the most successful manager in their history, raising his three fingers up to indicate 3 premier league title with them(happened in the game at Old Trafford last season), this act didn't further help his course with the fans, rather it made things worse.
For all this reasons I doubt the fans would accept him, and the club would not want to cause a stir or uproar with the fans.
Mourinho to Newcastle as well wouldn't happen in our lifetime, way below his standards.