Topic: Setting up financial structures before going into the family way - page 4. (Read 1158 times)

It wouldnt really be just that right that you would really be that dependent into your parents on the time that you do get married. It would be always affecting out our ego or pride when it comes to that on which we are really that doing our very best on establishing ourselves first and becoming that independent on the things that we are doing on which we arent really that depending on what we are trying to do specially on married life.
Making yourself first established before getting into married life is a must because we know that building up a family wont really be that easy on which you should really be that financially stable
on which even we can say that money cant make the world go round but we know that this had been always an integral part of daily living.

What if you dont have that sufficient finances but getting involved with marriage life? For sure you would really be having that higher chances on getting divorced by your wife on the time
that you cant really be able to provide even with their basic needs. This is why it would be always better that planning beforehand would really be crucial. Love wont really be enough
on surviving because even with the basic needs on which it does really need up the money to be spent.

If a person after marriage is still dependent on a parents to allow him money as well as also allow some money for his wife so this financially unstability sometimes become a cause of breaking a relationship. For strong relationships a person should be involved in performing any job and earn money for their better life.

A person if ask his parents for money for himself then its okay, not a big deal but if a person is asking for money for the expenses of his wife then it become a worse situations. Only 10 or 20 percent of partners will not think about financial system but 80 percent of relationship are because of stable financial systems of a person therefore don't think that if you have no income then still your wife will be with you because everyone is not of similar thoughts.

This factor is very necessary before entering marriage. You would not want to marry a person or be with a person who has no plans on both of you, and who has no plans on achieving financial stability. Hence, setting up financial structures at its utmost importance so that the marriage will be sustainable and will be able to provide the needs and wants of the children in the future. Not literally that you should be financially stable before getting into marriage, but at least you have stable job that can sustain and make the marriage works  for lifetime.

sometimes in a family with a problem it is because the finances are unstable because the basic needs are also always lacking and maybe the wife will express this matter because the husband cannot generate a fixed income per month, and in my opinion when someone who already has a job that has a fixed income but there are still problems about his finances it may be due to expenses that should not occur, because many people make expenses by buying what they want, not what they need, and indeed many people tend to do things like this so that's why they have financial problems, if they can record expenses properly I think their finances can be monitored. Because I myself experienced something like this, where I have a steady job and a steady income too but within a few days the income I have is gone, and I realize it's because of things that shouldn't be bought,  therefore now I often record expenses from everything including basic needs.
Now money problems are sometimes caused by prestige too, where someone is prestigious because they are not able to be stylish like other people, and like you said, to show off, or have high expectations, in my opinion, sometimes a factor in financial problems.

Young people who like to be independent and also like to think about the future with the right mindset usually come about through education or basic upbringing from their parents, even though financially their families are already quite rich. I've seen young people like that in my place, but unfortunately there aren't that many of them because what I see most often are young people who are lazy and don't want to work to become more independent. Even though they are not very rich and there is nothing more they can expect from their parents.

This preparation actually includes several important aspects before a man takes on greater trust and responsibility when he is married or when he is running his own household. So things like work and income as well as some savings are initial preparations that can be shown to his own family and also to his wife's family so that both parties can be confident enough to unite their children under one roof. Apart from that, responsibility will show itself when both of them have lived their lives for a long time, because there are things that must be done by the man and there are also things that must be done by the wife.

It is important to work for your future before and after marriage. Nowadays, you need to have a regular income to be able to do many things. To be able to provide for your family and not be dependent on others, you need to have a regular income and it needs to be enough to sustain your life and provide for your family.

As you mentioned, rushing into marriage is a big problem. People put themselves in a difficult situation by not planning for their future and acting without a plan, as if getting married will make everything easier. You should plan your future with the person you are going to be a family with before you get married.

Living alone is not the same as living as a family. You need to be mature individuals who can distinguish this.

I fully agree with you, in my country 50% of marriages fail and this likely because people are rushing things and don't first plan their life together. Getting married only because it's the cultural norm, or your family pressures you into it is wrong and should be avoided. The world changed a lot in the last 30 years and it's possible to live together without directly getting married. I would recommend to dating for a longer period of time and to make sure we really know the other person before taking the next steps. Financially problems are one of the big reasons for a divorce and that should be addressed before hand. Being financially responsible makes you a better partner and will also help your children a lot when growing up. And once we accumulate some wealth, we need to make sure it stays within the family. It's not only about divorce, because everything will be a percentage based on total net worth, it also comes to paying taxes once we give money to our children or paying for the inheritance.

It's seldom to see lovers wait for their finances to be stable before getting married, as what most happened these days is that they rush into marriage first and from there, they both create plans in order to attract financial stability until they achieved it together. Or worst is that both rush into marriage and give birth to their kids and end up with divorce because they can't stand the suffering that both have experienced because of lack of finances due to no stable source of living.

This just proves that financial security is very crucial in building a family, even though we often say that money is not everything.

I do not think that's true. I mean it's true that if the financial situation is terrible then it may not be all that great for the marriage, but that doesn't mean that it's 100% true that way. I have seen plenty of poor couples that stayed together for decades until they die, and I have seen plenty of rich people who got a divorce very quickly as well.

The whole celebrity world is filled with people marrying each other and divorcing very quickly, and certainly the business world is filled with them too. I think it's quite important to remember that you are going to end up with who you choose, if you choose someone that will not be with you if you are not financially good, then you have already made a very terrible choice to begin with.

Having stable finances is actually a great factor when it comes to the future of marriage. No marriage will sure to survive if the funds are always in a downturn. Maybe it would be okay if it only happens seldom, because we can't always be on top of our finances, but if it happens all the time, no wife or spouse will be able to continue the burden, that's why divorce happens at the end of the marriage.

Not only for financial responsibility, but even to some other aspects that would contribute to the sustainability of a marriage, the two individuals need to work on it first before they enter the room for marriage.

Some people make mistake by going into marriage without planing, no matter how we look at it, marriage is not something you will just go into without thinking about the future, I have a friend, we were class am mates in the secondary school, he got married to a girl because he loved the girl and faked his life to make the girl happy until the get married that's when everything turn out to be lies, as am speaking the are divorced, why because he was never prepared for marriage but he got married because of self deceit coming from his mindset, before a man can say that he is ready for marriage he should be financially ok not very rich but can afford to take care of his home without the assistance of anyone, once you are married, everyone assumes that you can take care of many things, take decision and handle some situation without the help of external person.

In as much as I agree with you in some areas, I will also point out to you that financial stability is not the only ingredient for a happy and successful marriage. Although, it is an important one because financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce recently actually. When couples don't have a stable financial situation, it can lead to conflict and stress, which can ultimately take a toll on the relationship. However, we have seen cases of divorce even with the richest people and definitely it can't be financial issues that caused the divorce. My point is, a marriage destined to fail must surely failed no matter how financially buoyant they are. Marriage is all about understanding and trust and believe me, if these two are present in any marriage, finance will likely not cause harm to such marriage as long as they can feed.


If I may ask you, what do you understand by financial stability? Having financial stability has no much difference from being rich. From the example you mentioned, food, electricity, water, shelter and other essential life needs, tell me what else you need again. These are what the riches possess and you can not wait to have all this before you think of settling down and start a family. You know some people financial breakthrough starts after marriage.. Financial stability is different from stable income and what matters here is stable income. The Bible that Op use as the reference also stated that a man need helper in his life which referring to wife. Your wife might play important role to your financial breakthrough and freedom.

One needs to have proper financial planning of course but that shouldn't hinder you from taking a partner if you have the means. You and your partner can build your home together with the support of one another. The success of your home depends on how well you can manage it and not how wealthy you are.

Yes, the obligation that must be fulfilled before marriage is that men must have a fixed income according to each person's economic level, at least they must reach an income like the minimum salary that has been set by the state, according to estimates that the minimum income can meet monthly needs, but if If someone can't earn that kind of income then it's better to focus on your work and don't force him to get married first because he will have the responsibility to provide financially and for the needs of his family.

Those who are married must have an independent income without always expecting financial help from parents or siblings, parents may help financially for several months after they get married because parents are still attached to their children but after that the husband must be ready to replace his wife's needs, the husband must working hard to earn enough income to meet the needs of his family.

Finance is an integral part of the requirements for marriages, it is something not to be ignored before settling down in the marriage, because a lack of it can affect the relationship negativity. I love you is sweeter when there's food on the table and the next meal is assured, also money in a marriage gives peace of mind when you consider basic bills to pay and eventualities of life. When you provide for your children, it helps to reduce the risk of them going astray in life, and money helps to give them good education that'll position them for better opportunities to make it in like.

However money alone does not guarantee a happy family, if it were so then the rich will not have marital issues, divorce and irresponsible children, so even with money couples still need to work on their marriages. Financial aspect is one aspect of marriage, there are others like fidelity and temperaments, with all the money in the family, without working on other aspects will lead to unhappiness.

If all people prioritized financial stability before starting a family, the world would be a better place. Although I am not saying that starting a family even if the finances aren't secured yet will fail, there's still the chance of being successful. But it's just different when someone is in a financially stable condition, the chances of having a better family and becoming more successful are high.

I know there are still many people who believe in the old ways like we should get married before 30. I don't agree with it. Modern countries usually average over 30 years old when their people get married. And so it's proven rather than the old beliefs that has to change. 

Believe it or not, this is not entirely based on a bad financial structure because usually at the beginning of a marriage we will be tested for financial difficulties first before reaching a much better stage. Getting married is not an easy matter because we have to prepare everything for the supporting process and perhaps we also have to prepare all possibilities on how to prepare ourselves to work more precisely and efficiently to make money.

Make a mature plan and work on it in stages so that we have a target that can be achieved. Something that starts with more thorough preparation will be much easier to achieve results. Young people have to think creatively to make money and there are many ways for us to get it slowly.

Actually, it is very unlikely to be financially stable before you can think of taking another job for yourself or marrying someone’s daughter. Financial stability doesn’t mean being that rich or that wealthy. but to have good and complete access to money. Have what to do for a daily living in order to survive.
There is a proverb that says that all hands are not equal. That means we are all not going to be rich and wealthy, and some of us will still be poor. That is why I said you should be financially stable or have something to do to provide for yourself before you can get married, because even if you are poor, if you can meet some requirements of provision for the family, you are good to go. For instance, if you are married to the love of your life and you are working, you receive $50 as a monthly payment. In this situation, you can’t say you are rich or financially stable, but you have something to do that can provide for you and your family. What you need to do is just plan your life and that of your family on a budget so that you can live and manage your life.

 
There is something that I want you to understand about wealthy and rich; these two things have broad differences. because being rich means you have some amount of money and property that can sustain you, your family, and your friends and do other things for some certain time, which can finish one day. What I mean is that you can be rich and get broke within some years of your life, but when we are talking about wealth, this is not only having some property of money but a big collaboration and shares in many big companies and also owning many companies to the extent that the amount of money you are receiving daily can be spent lavishly for 100 people or even 1000 people for a complete year. Here we are talking about what you will receive daily, not weekly or monthly. That is what is meant by being wealthy. How will you think that those children that grow up in that family will lack or even think of starting something to earn money? What will he do with it while it is abundantly available?

I myself have seen many people whose children are not able to earn on their own, but they marry them off.Often in such cases, their results are not good. It is a good source of income for any man to start his best life. A man who will not be able to fulfill his needs, how will he be able to fulfill the needs of his wife?In my opinion, the parents who arrange marriages in such a case should think, especially the girl's parents should not marry such boys who are not fulfilling their responsibilities. In this, I consider the girl's parents to be more guilty, why they get their daughters married in places that are not able to earn on their own.

 Most of the people who have a lot of wealth and do not enable their children to earn rather they decide on child marriages believing in their earnings which is definitely wrong. Perhaps no matter how much wealth one has, one should enable one's children to earn for themselves. So that he can become a responsible member of the house and society.

its truly important to be set up financially before even having marriage because financial is the bane of the existence of the family without it divorcement occurred quite frequently.
after all, before when you were a single person you don't have to worry about fulfilling basic needs you can live frugally and have that kind of irresponsible spending for your earning but when you have family you have to take up the responsibility of also taking care your spouse, even your descendant, therefore money spending become the reason that keeps your family together otherwise it will crack and it will be a problematic thing you need to face.
always know that starting out family is not some measly thing, its not a thing that can be underestimated, so many people kept saying that they will figure it out as the time goes when they get married, but alas there are too many cases in the court in regard of divorcement. such thing also probably starts out from the fact that they try to figure out how to earn enough for family and they failed miserably because earning money is definitely tough thing.

I would agree with everything you said since at the end of the day, it always pays to be financially responsible in such a way that you're ensuring the stability of your finances before you even decide to settle down. The only thing that I couldn't really agree with is the fact that you're supposing as if your wife's not gonna be financially responsible in her own right as well, and not in a sense where "I'm gonna depend on her for shit" type. I mean in a way where she would also be partnering with you in ensuring that a safe financial future between the two of you is achieved, you feel me? She might get herself her own job and save her own money while chipping in on the family bank account, and I think that's okay as well.

Ultimately you are right, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener at war as they say, but it also helps to actually invest time in finding a responsible partner that you know's not gonna just be leeching off of your funding. Someone who's going to help you through and through.