Topic: Setting up financial structures before going into the family way - page 7. (Read 1158 times)

Money dey good for marriage no doubt but e get the one wey still be the icing on the cake, na that one be understanding. Hmmm my brother if money plenty for marriage and the communication and understanding are not there, na just like nothing good or joyous in the marriage. In this case if the woman see say the man get money but dem no dey too get understanding and better communication, the woman go find somebody wey go dey make her happy outside while she go dey carry the man money dey take care of another man.

So money without understanding, you go still see couple wey no dey happy but make understanding dey make money still join am, that one make sense.

That's right, they have to be able to support their families, and especially men have an important role in the family because men are the heads of the family who have to be more responsible than others. Preparing a financial structure really has to be done, because in order to be able to support their own family, for men they must have a job that makes money every month, because men have many responsibilities in a family, to support children and wives they also have to fulfill their basic daily needs, too. they have to pay bills for water, electricity, and perhaps health insurance which must be prepared for the future as you said, they also have to be able to save for the future and prepare funds for undesirable things or things that might happen suddenly. - suddenly it will definitely cost money to deal with it. I don't think it's just men, if it's about money, it's possible that women can also do it by selling online or with their careers, it's better if they both earn a living to support their family, but don't lose time together, because they're very vulnerable. If husband and wife both have jobs that earn money, they don't have time to be together. Even though men are the ones who are most obliged to earn a living, there is nothing wrong if women also help earn a living, as long as, as I said, they don't lose time together.

Things like that must be avoided as best as possible. They have to look for work that makes money, because if household finances are unstable then there will be small problems and it is likely to become a big problem that could destroy a family relationship. So this must be prevented especially by men who are most responsible for a family. Basically, men should have a great sense of responsibility, especially for those who decide to get married, of course they have to be ready for everything that will be their own responsibility.

This is one of the manifestations of the backwardness of traditional educational systems that teach girls that men are responsible for spending financially on them. This upbringing established a culture of dependence among women that contributed to the formation of public awareness that the man is the genie of Aladdin’s lamp who will fulfill all their financial dreams that they were unable to achieve.
It is true that the financial aspect must be worked on first to make the relationship successful, but this thinking must be shared between the man and the woman and not the responsibility of the man alone.
Marriage is like any other joint venture, requiring equality in both responsibilities and rights. Or we are talking about a relationship of exhaustion.

From my experience talking and socializing with younger generation, like Gen-Z and Late Millennials, people who were born later than 1990's, they were more aware of financial requirements when they want to married. They tend to delay their marriage until they have enough saving to buy a small home/apartments, most of them aren't even having relationship until they got a stable job.

I not from Asia, and the previous generation were married young, but I guess that's understandable because the economic situation is less complex, and I am glad that most youth are aware of the economic uncertainty before they decide to start a family.

Failed marriages do not only happen because of lack of financial structures before they enter marriage. That is just one of the factors. It could be that both individuals failed to manage their differences that's why they cannot work as one, otherwise they'll only end up fighting because of their different life's concepts.

However, I have to agree that having stable financial structures before marriage is a great factor that would make marriage highly works. Let's just admit that money is almost the source of everything nowadays. I hate to say it but it's how money have become very manipulative of us. And if these married individuals have no stable source of income, that will make their marriage becomes compromised until it end ups failed and broken.

I will agree on this. If the parents are unable to take full respinsibilty not partially responsibility of the needs of the children. Gradually the children will tend to loss the regards and high esteem of their parents. The parent as well will not have much say in whatever the children are doing, since they are the ones caring for themselves.

I believe this is part of the reason OP started this topic. It is very painful to see your children loss respect for you or regards because you are unable to provide for them anymore. Although some children are different but in rare cases this is how it is

The men or omen was independent in the financial sector before their marriage,they only need to take care of their parents.If they was in the joint family,the money dividend for him will be reduced further.But if they live alone after their marriage,they need to pay the rent fully from his salaries.It also includes the weekly outing expenses,the medical expenses should be based on their salary alone.But the bachelors expense limit with their parents,the family man expenses will include the wife and baby expenses.


The father role was huge in the family,if any of us get some health issue.The father alone take care of it,even if he doesn’t afford our expenses.He will get credit from their friends and help us in all the emergencies.If the mother take care alone with some income means,it will be far better one for peaceful life.

The role of the father and mother, especially the father is to provide for the family and once you missed to play your role as parents it definitely gonna backfire on children misbehaving, because they will begin to look for a way to survive themselves and that's where you as parents would lost control of your kids. Even as a single person without a sustainable source of income is a problem, let alone when you got family and children to take care of,  It a must done for me.

OP, as long as both husband and wife can understand themselves, they can assit the gamily together. I am not sying that one should jump into marriage without a job, but it doesn't mean that you must be financial stable first. This is because as two people that just came together, it will be hard to be able to meet up with all the family demands because new expenses will be added. It is gradually with time that the family will begin to get balanced after understanding the most important needs for the family.

What of a situation whereby, the husband has a good job and after 5yrs, he lost his job what will happen, will the wife divorce him..NO. As long as the man is hardworking and provide the basic needs for us family, they can get married. There are some people that it is when they get married that they will be blessed with riches because marriage is a good thing.

Even if a man is wealthy and he doesn't understand his wife, the marriage might not work, money is not everything and this is where the youths of nowadays get it wrong, especially the girls. Love, commitment and understanding makes a poor family to be happy with the little that they have. Sometimes to become financial stable can take a very long time due to the economy of some countries.

I remembered the US tradition in their love life, where a couple can live together before continuing to get married. It seems like they really live life like a family, including managing finances that meet their collective needs.
I don't know whether it is actually effective in reducing the divorce rate (if breaking up at such a time is not considered a divorce).

Op does it mean that men without money are not eligible to marry because from what you're saying it is like being financially bouyant is the bedrock or a strict criterion for getting married as a man. If you don't have money don't marry cause you'll be making mistake doing that.

 
I dismiss this ideology to not be as true as many people do think. It is well known that men that has money as in rich men tend to have side chicks/concubines  as they believe they can fend for all their needs, it is rather the poor that love their wife's more better as they don't have money to massage their ego of fending for extra marital expenses so they stick all their love to their wife only.

True, in general that is what people usually do before entering the family period, none other than because I think everyone has realized that the responsibility of needs when married is intolerable, which means that when they need money it means that at the same time they must already have money or prepare money. Well right, that's what has been going through my mind, honestly I am one of the people who are still single and not married, I often see some of my friends who have been married, when chatting they prioritize wedding parties which of course cost a lot of money, even though the party is only temporary and just to enliven the wedding, and real life will really happen when they have entered a family relationship. Which means that I agree with you that it's better not to overdo it in marriage, don't be too pushy to spend a lot of money, it's simple because after all, real life will really happen when the marriage is over with a myriad of needs that will come your way.

As you said that they will have offspring (children) which of course requires cost allocation, so preparing funds early with an ideal amount according to the needs in your area and using it for needs when the time comes is better than you allocate all your savings only for a wedding party that is only temporary.

Yeah I totally agree. This actually happened to me once and that lesson taught me to be single for a choice. It is really important to not show your wealth because gold diggers will surely left us with nothing. I am not rich but I am not lazy as well, I just don't show off what I have. Always remember that gold diggers are liabilities and those who truly loves us are assets.

People must tend to learn how to save up first for their future, some of them keep doing this but in just a simple way, you don't need to spend a lot of money with your marriage like the others just having a casual is enough and of course once your wife gets pregnant this is additional cost its not free I guess having a 5k$ us a must here as your budget for initial year I don't know the accurate count but I guess its the ideal, but even though we keep saying this all the time the life always give challenges we expect the unexpected so better to save up as early as possible so you can meet your family needs and safety.

While money doesn't guarantee happiness and a lasting relationship, the reality is that money is one of the things that can bring happiness and many households have been destroyed because they were economically deprived.
Husbands do have full responsibility for their wives, from basic needs to other needs. But here we cannot demand only the husband, but the wife must also understand, this is where the importance of commitment from the start and it must be prepared and discussed by two people who will build a household. Financial readiness is something that must be carefully thought out and it requires good communication between the two people.

For things like responsibilities in a family, we cannot judge each family equally, because the issue of working to earn money was born out of their own initiative after marriage. Moreover, this is of course caused by always needing money at any time when someone is building their own family so that both women and men will always be willing to work as long as their work can generate money and can be used for their own household needs. So this is clearly not only related to men, but also involves women if they both know what to do.

When someone is married and tied into one institution, namely family, of course both of them have to work hard and be diligent with each other on everything they consider important. Because the problem of work does not only lie with men, but women also have to work if they have the ability to do it and this is for the sake of their own family. So there is no reason to blame each other if both of them really want to build a very peaceful family in their own lives because in general both of them have the same responsibility to support their family members.

Money does not guarantee happiness in the household and a lasting relationship, but money can cause marital relationships to break down. In the country I live in, the husband must provide for all his wife's needs and also the monthly expenses in the household. It is important for future husbands to have some savings in preparation for emergency funds if the direction of their income sources changes after marriage.
The more technology develops, the greater the cost of living, especially for women whose needs exceed those of men. Needing to maintain financial stability by looking for a side job outside of their main job, men must be prepared to work hard to maintain the integrity of their marriage.

i agree with your point which says that someone who wants to build a family must have good finances to be able to support their family in the future. at a minimum, he must be able to feed his children and wife and give them a decent place for them to live, then they can plan their finances for education, health and investment in the future.

if even the basic things in the household cannot be provided for, this will result in the emergence of various problems which often escalate into bigger problems such as domestic violence and even divorce. that's why it's important for people who want to get married to prepare themselves thoroughly so that in the future their family's needs can be met properly.

Even if you're not married, you need to have a good financial to fulfill your needs, now if your financial isn't settle yet, how it's make sense to marry someone when you can't fulfill yourself first?

I think the government need to tighten the rules to marry someone, it's either at least 25 years old for male or he don't need to be 25 years old but he has $1 Million.

Most important needed by every single men or women before marriage, I agree with OP opinion with setting up good financial structure before gong in to the family way or marriage. Many youth people not prepare yet with good financial structure before marriage and will difficult later when having children how to manage well between income and outcome. But don't make your motivation to build up one family losses before having good financial condition due in my religion said with marriage will open your income way.
In our live beside have good financial before marriage we need think more important in the future after marriage many unpredictable outcome exactly with our parent financial can't help well for us.