Topic: Setting up financial structures before going into the family way - page 5. (Read 1079 times)

its truly important to be set up financially before even having marriage because financial is the bane of the existence of the family without it divorcement occurred quite frequently.
after all, before when you were a single person you don't have to worry about fulfilling basic needs you can live frugally and have that kind of irresponsible spending for your earning but when you have family you have to take up the responsibility of also taking care your spouse, even your descendant, therefore money spending become the reason that keeps your family together otherwise it will crack and it will be a problematic thing you need to face.
always know that starting out family is not some measly thing, its not a thing that can be underestimated, so many people kept saying that they will figure it out as the time goes when they get married, but alas there are too many cases in the court in regard of divorcement. such thing also probably starts out from the fact that they try to figure out how to earn enough for family and they failed miserably because earning money is definitely tough thing.

I would agree with everything you said since at the end of the day, it always pays to be financially responsible in such a way that you're ensuring the stability of your finances before you even decide to settle down. The only thing that I couldn't really agree with is the fact that you're supposing as if your wife's not gonna be financially responsible in her own right as well, and not in a sense where "I'm gonna depend on her for shit" type. I mean in a way where she would also be partnering with you in ensuring that a safe financial future between the two of you is achieved, you feel me? She might get herself her own job and save her own money while chipping in on the family bank account, and I think that's okay as well.

Ultimately you are right, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener at war as they say, but it also helps to actually invest time in finding a responsible partner that you know's not gonna just be leeching off of your funding. Someone who's going to help you through and through.

You are right and I support your thoughts and opinions. Mostly we saw many people who are financially independent and still take their pocket money from their father and want to marry a girl and I saw this in those people who are irresponsible and did not take steps to move forward in their lives. They marry and then their life goes full of problems and issues that they want to solve but they can't because at that time their legs and hands are bounded. On the other, those people who are responsible do not want to get married and the reason is that firstly think about the life they spend after their marriage and when they did not get married until they make themselves independent and do something for their family. The lives of these people go very smoothly and their marriages are long-lasting. For a successful married life financial stability is more important because your marriage's successful chances depend on it.

In my opinion, a man who has a good mindset, when they are young they will do positive things and of course people like this will definitely think about the future that they will experience later, because one day they will have their own family to support. Therefore, before having a wife, they must have prepared everything, including their own financial structure. Also, in my opinion, those who have a good mindset will likely be independent, not depend much on their parents, even if their parents are rich, they will not too dependent on his parents.

preparing a financial structure before starting a family is important, because there is a wife to support and also later there will be children to support too, therefore in my opinion having a job that makes money clearly must be done before having a family, because as a man - Men of course we have to have responsibility, and also in the future we will be the head of the family, therefore, in my opinion, men's responsibilities are very important in the family.

If I understand you correctly, what you're trying to say is that poor financial structure is mainly responsible for failed marriages. I don't agree with you. Don't get me wrong, finance is good but money is not always the cause of failed marriages. A man can be well to do, provides the family needs, gives the wife and kids all the love and affection and the wife can still become disinterested at some point. I've seen cases like this.


That's right, a wise man plans for the future before he embarks on it. You don't have to wait during or after marriage before you begin to act. While courting, you should be preparing yourself, read books about marriage and relationship, attend marriage seminars, sake advice from marriage counselors.

Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly difficult to meet our needs. The needs of a family increase day by day. You must have sufficient income for this. Because human needs are increasing day by day and require financial power.

Individuals should know their responsibilities in family life. It may not be right to attribute everything to material things, but material things are necessary for livelihood. Being financially stable makes people feel comfortable.

The most important thing is that individuals respect each other. This situation can be reversed when you are financially strong or financially weak. Things can go better if individuals are respectful and responsible towards each other.

You make a valid point, and from what I've observed, many people—of both sexes—hurry into marriage, often under the influence of peer pressure. They believe that because all of their friends are married, they must follow suit, viewing marriage as a kind of intramural competition. Some, on the other hand, are forced into early marriage by their parents, elderly relatives, etc., on the grounds that they must see their grandchildren and great grandchildren (this is especially common in the northern part of my region). In the absence of adequate financial stability and support, these individuals are pressured into premature marriages, which typically ends up failing most of the times.

However, I think that inadequate financial resources are not the only reason why marriages fail; a lack of communication between partners can also contribute to a failed marriage. Given these difficulties, parents will find it challenging to provide their children with the necessary upbringing and home training.

There is a popular saying in the North here that “God does not abandon his servants” and most of the youths here are of the mindset of getting in marriage without any source of income to the support the family, they have become more reliant on the the saying, they believe God will not abandon them and will always provide a way to feed them so that’s what drive them to marry despite having no source of income which is a bad practice.

I also believe in God, and I am aware that he never deserts his servant, but how do you intend to constantly rely on God's miracle, endangering the lives of your spouse and kids? It's actually not a good idea; instead of running the danger of ending your marriage, it's preferable to always plan before getting married and make sure you have a way to support yourself, no matter how little.

Having financial stability before getting married or before having your own family is important in my opinion, because if you are married, especially if you have children, which of course is said to be a family, it is our own responsibility, as men in a family of course have the role of head of the family, and As the head of the family, of course you have to be responsible for all things related to the family, including finances. In my country, there are people who are married but they don't have a job with a steady income, and when I looked closely, the man only relied on his family's inheritance, there wasn't any There's something wrong with expecting inheritance from one's parents, but I think it's better to have a job that makes one's own money, because I think a responsible man can handle his family's finances by himself without relying on his parents.

I myself have plans to get married after I have a clear job with an income, if that doesn't happen then I will hold back, because I want to have my own business to be able to make money which is the result of my own sweat and I will be proud if that happens. . As much as possible I will do it independently, because in my opinion men should be able to independently do many things related to themselves now and their future.

I also have a family. One thing that causes problems in the family is that the biggest factor is the problem of minimal finances which are seen as not being able to cover all the monthly shopping costs, especially since our children are all in school, whether at primary, secondary or college level, there are expenses that are incurred. and of course the large amount is also needed and is not owed at the end of the month.

Yes. Everyone wants to live a normal life (our wives) like other people, have a house, a car and their children are all educated, but it is not an easy matter, especially if we are not of blue blood. So, to fulfill this, it is not necessary that we have to be civil servants or private employees. If there is a skill that can bring in money and can cover it all, I think it's not an important problem that we and our partner have one heart, one goal and communicate honestly, whether in financial matters or anything honestly.

-getting married has big expenses
-taking care of children costs money
-living everyday life is like that too

For this reason, some wise people say that if you are not financially mature then you should give up your intention to get married, marriage is not something that is easy to do, just imagine how complicated it is to unite our partner's mindset, by the way, i am lucky enough to be in a Christian family, because i only want to what separates a marriage, not money or anything else.
In Christianity, before getting married, there are many things that the prospective bride and groom must ask, this is all done to prevent divorce, nowadays it is quite easy for people to say divorce.

even though we call them girls or woman, they both like money and it literally takes money and love to keep them. No matter how responsible a woman his, if you don't have the financial resource to take care of her, you will loose her to a stranger.

Age only goes to show that she might have had a financial  backup that will help her support her partner reasonable and that's what will fuel and enable the union to work

Yes being financially stable before marriage is very important.
I do not support those that says wife's are for enjoyment alone and do not need to work,
As a wife even if you are not 100% financially stable, you should have a little source of income where you can support in providing for your family and no man would want to lose any woman who is supportive no matter how little.
Any family that both parents are financially stable easily sort out any challenges concerning finances making it easy for the family.
The love increases when both partners are supportive to each other and to the family.
Children are happy and proud of their parents when they provide their needs, so both partners should be financially stable or have a source of income before embarking on marriage.

True love bs is not the reality and if someone is lucky enough to find such kind of partner but talking about the majority they won't be satisfied with what we have, they just find what we have is either good enough for them most of the time unless they are really learned their lessons from past mistakes and which one they should prioritize when it comes to choosing the partner for life.

I understand you very well but hope you know that we have women that likes materialistic and fancy items, this is to say that maturity is part of what men ought to look out got before they settle down but I think the most important of them is love. You could be married to a younger ones in between their mid 20s and early 30s be happily married without having any issues because you both love each other and understand your limit as couples and it possible to go for older for trying to avoid problems and end up in the same nemesis you are running away from.

A woman that loves her man will listen to her man physical and also financially, they don't do what's above their budget and they are very understanding but when you use money to attract and get attention, when the money finish or probably got into any problem, they will not stay around. This is why no person should ever used money to build up a relationship in th first place but on the fundamentals of love and happiness.

Yes, you are right, rich people have it all, so it's natural for them to say that. Meanwhile, for families who live at the poverty line, let alone buying the things they want, being able to meet their daily needs is already very difficult.


Sometimes in maintaining a domestic relationship, when we encounter a problem that is quite difficult, what happens is that we make it even more complicated, and when we encounter a problem that is quite simple, we actually complicate it. This is the mindset we have to change, where when we encounter a difficult problem, we simplify it and when we encounter a simple problem, don't complicate it.


If a husband's income is greater than his wife's income or his wife has no income, then we should never consider her as a servant just giving orders. and when the wife's income is much greater than the husband's, the wife should never underestimate her profession and income, because after all the husband is the head of the household who must be respected.

Taking someone else's responsibility is never an easy job and that's why it is the best way to push yourself beyond your limits. If you cannot get out of your comfort zone you will never become successful. If you have the minimum requirement to provide for your family or the person you are trying to get married then you should do it immediately. As a man we like challenges and think of them as tasks. Once we've done it, it becomes an achievement. That's how our brain works.
Marrying someone and taking their responsibility becomes a new task and we do whatever we have in our power to make that happen so that we can count as an achievement.
It is necessary to have a proper amount of income to live a good and healthy life but maybe you can do it better if you are provided with responsibility.

Deep down most people understand this, however the economy all around the world is not doing well so people are forced in a difficult situation, do they wait until they get financially stable and risk the relationship with this person they consider the love of their life to end? Or they take the risk and tie the knot now even if they are not ready? And neither is an easy choice, and it is up to each person to decide which one of those options is the one that makes the most sense taking into account all the factors that surround them.

To some extend money can't give anyone full assurance of a happy home in marriage, have seen a lot of women who got married to rich men like super rich men but still not enough and at the end of the day they end up with a divorce, with this point only money can't buy happiness in a marriage, the idea of the op is common and nice, before marriage you need to be financially stable not because your wife needs money or your children deserve a better life everyone needs to work hard because we all need money, any marriage that lacks understanding will fall even with money. Marriage needs the both to stand money and understanding cause without money couples will always argue over unnecessary issue.
Have always believe the idea of being financially stable before having kids more especially, couples can live comfortable even with little amount but with kids that's where the problem lies, most especially with school fees and children needs.

When it comes on choosing up a girl or for someone whom you want to marry with then we do have those kind of considerations or simply those criterias but we do know that each men would really be having their
own ways and preference on choosing on who would be the one. Of course we would really be loving to see those beautiful ones but there are instances that it is really indeed present but the quality or behavior is really that opposite then if a certain man would be seeing some unpleasant things then everything would be messed up and skip for another one until he would be able to find the right girl on which he would be considering
on marrying.

Establishing up yourself first should really be your main priority on which we know that when building a family then it wont really be something that you would really be that neglecting into those responsibilities
that you would be needing to do specially if you are already that a husband and a father then it would be that just wise on having that financial planning or backups because if you dont have then building
one would really be that too challenging or might ended up on divorce because there's no women would really be long lasting if you cant really be able to provide even into their basic needs.

This is why it would be always that wise that you should really be that you should be making preparations at least before you would be hovering yourself into marriage
life. You wont really be seeing yourself to be fucked up and ends up on having nothing because you have not been prepared.

There are girls and women and you know what I mean.

Girls love fancy things that is why men are interested in spending their money so they can attract girls whereas women who are mature enough to know what is really needed and who can understand their partner and lot of other things so the marriage will last forever.