Topic: Setting up financial structures before going into the family way - page 8. (Read 1158 times)

The way the OP said, I think it is also very true when talking about the truth that is happening in material society is seen in more than the rest. But really, that is just the beginning. There are many other problems after marriage. Material things are not the main cause, they only partly affect the harmony of the couple and then fall apart when the soul is broken. The two of them don't really understand each other. I'm not sure about everyone's perspective on love, but I believe most of us don't really understand it, so marriage breakdowns are becoming more common. Even among my own relatives, there are families that have divorced. Although the cause is not difficult life conditions, it's just that the way they treat each other is no longer the way they started. Although I do not deny the problem of building a balanced finance, I think that being able to achieve long-term harmony requires many factors, and in short, the factor is big enough to make things that affect it not work can destroy that relationship.

Structures are so important because it is on them the future is built or maintained.  A family structure will need among other things, a financial system which will make the family to stay glued together. Even when no child or children are yet present, the families of both man and wife ought to be financially stable enough to support their marrying children.
Before they do get married, a wise woman or wise man should be able to have discussed the financial future they would work towards because it is during such times that kids need be expected and their future to schooling and feeding and clothing must have been arranged so that all the kid does would be how to earn for themselves and secure their own family too.

It's good to plan for a better future mostly for the kids yet unborn. This is so as not to produce liabilities that would help crumble the structure of the society.

I know one thing for sure despite being single, Marraiage is not as sweet as most people sees it to be. Because people lack the context of marriage that is why we see the high rate of divorce and broken marraiage including celebrities who both have all the money they want. Some times problems faced in marraiage do not just happen base on financial incapability of the man, there are many other factors still to consider.

Of a truth, it is a great idea for a man to be at least stable to be able to provide even if not sufficiently but his best is quite enough to sustain the family to avoid unnecessary comparison and marital issues.

My question would be, what if as a man you are not yet able to carter for the household but all ready aging out, we know "Not all fingers are equal". In this case what will be the faith of the man?

I don't think so. There are many things that causes failed marriages.
1. Getting married with someone that don't love you or who is not yet ready for marriage.
2. Trust: when the marriage lacks trust from each of them.
3. Impotency and barrenness or if both partners are not compatible in sex drive. Example when the male sex drive is higher than the woman. Or the woman sex drive is higher than that of the man which can cause infidelity. Whereby the woman seeks for another man.sometimes week erection or the male lacking the potential to satisfy the sexual urges of the woman.
4. Unplanned marriage. Like marrying out of wedlock. By inpregnating someone you are not ready to settle down with. There by leading to unwanted marriage and summer or later it can lead to marriage failure.
5. Bad friends or evil communication. When people get married and they start receiving advice from people who are not knowledgeable in marriage. those people becomes marriage counselor where as they haven't even get married. or have marriage experience and they end up misleading the male or female with wrong advice and that can cause marriage failure. And many other factors.

Yes I agree with you money is one of the key important in marriage. For you to be respected in Marriage you must  be financially bounyant. When there is money the love reduces and you start loosing respect. But sometimes as a man you should try not to train your partner with always giving her money, because if she is used to it,  when you don't have she would forget that you have been giving before. Money and organizing your marriage or looking for possible things that will make the family going.

Sometimes giving your partner attention is the key factor of long lasting marriage. Women love attention. And when you are smart or sensitive to know what the problem is, you will have a broken home because you lack understanding skill.

Getting married means joining a family bond.And to be bound by this family bond, you must have merit, that is, you must do some small job or business so that you can take responsibility for the maintenance of your married wife. First you should establish yourself and then you should get married.Otherwise it will appear that you have failed to meet your wife's needs if you are not established.

If you want to live a good life after marriage then you must look after earning money.Because when a boy gets married, he can no longer be the same as he was before marriage because then his family responsibility falls on him.Earning money is the key to running a family well.

Not only is it about producing money, but also about managing it. We know money issues can weaken even the best bonds. We and the next generation must learn about money. Saving, spending, and budgeting will help you stay married. The Bible emphasizes family care and financial wisdom.

A financially responsible partner makes you feel safe and valued. Let's not just consider this a business agreement. Love is complicated, and financial stability is only half of it. Emotional and financial understanding must be balanced. Both are non-negotiable. And to the young folks out there, hear this loud and clear: love is beautiful, but when the bills come knocking, love won't answer the door - your financial planning will. Yes, use your mind, but don't forget to use your heart too.

You're saying that marriages break up because of poor financial structure and planning, but is there actual data to back this up? I decided to find out more, and it seems that the top cause is irreconcilable differences, which means that people simple realize they aren't right for each other. Then there's infidelity, which is also cited very often as a cause of divorce.  Financial issues are mentioned within "other causes" in this article.
Then there's this article based on interviews with divorced individuals, with the main causes being the lack of commitment to marriage, infidelity, arguing too much, then getting married too young, and only then financial problems.
So it seems quite a stretch to say that the root cause of divorces is poor financial planning.
In my opinion, people actually often don't get married because they focus a lot of their finances and careers, and gradually lose their relationships over that. Moreover, getting married and building up financial resources together can actually be a good bonding experience for a couple. It's also very traditionalist to focus on men as providers for the family, when there are tons of countries where both men and women usually work and provide for their families.

You can't go on like you did before marriage after marriage but even if you wanted to. You may not need much money before marriage but you will definitely need money after marriage. If you think that because you don't wear good quality clothes and you don't like anything else, it will continue like this even after marriage, then you are completely wrong. You can never keep your wife the way you are before marriage. Getting married means taking on the responsibility of supporting someone else. A married man is happy when he has a good job and can earn income before marriage. If you don't have a good job, you can't get married, I'm not saying that, basically, if there is a source of income, then that person can live a good life after marriage.

I agree with some part of your opinion, but sometimes the root cause of divorce and failed marriage is not totally about money, because once you are married, whatever problems you may have with the family you started, you should solve and support them together. One thing that I consider before getting married is about financial resources and knowing that both of us are physically, mentally and financially stable. In my own perspective
I don't want big savings or big property before marriage, I prefer if my partner is responsible, resourceful and has a stable job and lastly, one of the most important is the one who appreciates me, respects and supports my decisions.

I didn't mean to disagree with your point, but there are many people who believe the phrase "sustenance has been fixed by God", so if they've find someone who they love and think their partner will able to make their futures bright, it's not a problem of them to be married even their financial aren't settled yet.

Looks odd to me, it's like expecting or planning there's will be second marriage, third marriage etc.

I beg to disagree that the root cause of divorce in our society is a lack of financial resources. What happens to the marriages of rich celebrities that have the highest rate of divorce? In my country, I can assume that 85% of the marriages of the rich end in divorce and the problem is not money. You don't need money to teach a child how to behave well in society. All you need is to spend quality time with such a child and always guide him to develop good character.


Providing all the basic needs of the family is very important. Children need to eat a balanced diet, access good education, enjoy quality health care, live a a comfortable house and wear appropriate clothing. This is why it is important to plan before marriage to avoid emergencies. But there are times when these plans don't work as arranged because nobody can predict the economic conditions of the world. People lose their jobs, sickness might come, there might be conflict or natural disasters, and at this point, you need something more than money to sustain your family. The bottom line is that we should always do our best to provide for our home but it takes more than money to keep a good home.


I will give my children the best education that I can afford and help them to develop good morals. I will teach them to be hardworking, prudent and compassionate. I will also encourage them to marry a person who is not money-conscious because that is what destroys marriages. I will encourage them to be financially stable before getting married but they don't necessarily need to be rich to find a wife. This is because the rich are easily deceived by women.


My wife respects me not because I provide all the needs of the family but because she knows that I am doing my best to make the family live a comfortable life. Sometimes I might not be able to provide for all their needs but my wife and children know that Dad is doing his best for the family.


You should plan before and after marriage because it is important for the stability of the family. But don't be too confident that money will solve all the problems in the home. Believe it or not love has the power to sustain a home more than money.

You mean if you are financially prosperous in marriage it will help your partner to love you better because women love those who have money more and more.

In any case, getting money before marriage is a very important factor in achieving stability and success in marriage because money is very necessary to build a successful marriage. Problems often arise between spouses due to lack of money, and when money is available, these problems are greatly reduced.

It is also important to get this money before marriage and not after it because obtaining money after marriage is relatively difficult due to the large demands of the family that prevent you from working freely.

most people getting married for first time are 18-25
they have not even had the chance to build up financial security

money is important of course especially if you want to start a family a lot of the replies in here still believe that it’s always the man who is responsible with the couple’s finances but these days a lot of women are now working and I personally know married couples wherein the woman is the only one working out of the two

being married means that you guys should stick to each other even at your lowest however one can only take so much while money is a crucial part here i think it’s more about the mindset and lifestyle your partner wants it’s not women love money it’s women love goal-oriented, determined and hardworking men it’s just a bonus that comes with it is money

Of course, it is best that you are financially capable of supporting a family before you enter into marriage. But don't give too much value to your financial well-being just so that you can marry the girl that you love. I'm afraid that's missing life. I guess it's primarily about values and character. You can marry the love of your life even if both of you are poor. And then you confront life's challenges together, hand in hand. Many rich families here accumulated vast wealth, but it all started with their parents sticking to each other through thick and thin, helping each other.

Your advice is detached from local economic context, and that varies heavily between different countries. In some it's possible for one person to sustain their whole family if they have a decent job, in other countries both parents must work hard to make their ends meet. But one thing is sure - having a family is always an expense, so you'd better be financially ready to make it all work, otherwise you might all be miserable.

Financial independence may not also the key for a happy and successful marriage as well as well raised children. It's not on the money but on how the parents develop effective parenting to their children that will help them grow and live life like everything gets valued. However, having money and we'll structured source of income is a great advantage when entering a married life. Thus, you will not worry anymore if both of you have something to eat today and in the following days, because you have consistent flow of income that you can rely on.

I have experienced firsthand the obstacles encountered when starting to get married and money is always something that I often debate with my partner, so for people who are not married, you have to prepare yourself for all of this, if you are not yet financially established, then talk about it again with your partner, don't get divorced or separated just because of money problems.

in my opinion, things that must be discussed before getting married are: issues of income, residence and distribution of responsibilities. It's impossible for you to stay at your in-laws' house for a long time, you definitely won't feel at home and there will definitely be lots of conflict between you and your partner's family or even your own family. getting married is not an easy matter, your foundation must be strong, don't just get married for reasons of love and other silly things, you both must have the same vision and also respect each other so that you don't have the potential to divorce at the end of time.

Well you have made a very good point and zaguru12 also has pointed out some important areas that need attention too. This conversation seems to be more matured for those that are almost ready for marriage or those married already, it sounds quit weird to kids like us because we are not matured for marriage.

Afaik, love is not enough for marriage, before you get married discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, how to deal with family, what believe will be installed in your children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations, family health history, bucket list, dream home, career and education, political view etc. because love is not enough.

If you can discuss the above points no matter the financial stability or situation marriage can be fixed properly.

We women love money and will never be happy and okay in a relationship or union where there is no money, and no hope to get money because our partner is looking relaxed and not want to push themselves to get more. Just as we fall in love, we can also fall out of love quickly. Every young man should make sure that they have a source of income and are sure of the source of income being able to manage them first before bringing in another person as a partner. The people who will pressure you into marriage will not be there to support you always when things financially rough for you, you have to plan well.