Topic: Support, do not criticize. (Read 1163 times)

Yes that is really true because a lot of things has really happened to different gamblers in different area and different part of the world, they are always Afraid of even thinking about it or have any thoughts of it any time, I just feel like talking to them and make them feel happy on the decision they took that it a right thing, that will really make them happy and it the right thing to do more and more, they just need a little happiness more in their life and it all done, it is not easy to take that decision

It depends on the person as to how they see the incoming statement. Most addicted people are very defensive about their addiction and will not accept the fact that they need help and you have to respect that too if you want to change anything in their addiction. This is a tough mental discussion to pursue and not everyone can do it without being judgemental or angry. Often professional help will be oa use and that is what I usually suggest to any addict who wants help.

Of course the days are not bleak for them, hope is there for such addicted gamblers to become diligent gamblers.

You're right, be you should even be measured in your support and try not to be overly proactive. Take someone that is quitting smoking as another example, you should avoid asking them how it's going, because it might trigger something or engage a certain reflex - just avoid all mention of the subject, because you can probably figure out if it's succeeding or not based on other indicators. Sometimes it might even engage an unconscious act of rebellion, if you feel like someone else is influencing your decision or making you act a certain way. Give someone who's trying to quit an addiction a lot of space and try to avoid any mention of the subject, as they're probably constantly trying to redirect their mind away from it as they recode their thought patterns.

OP, your talk makes a lot of sense. And how these gamblers feel while trying to quit gambling is similar to what happens to drug addicts, which is known as withdrawal syndrome. They should receive all of the encouragement and support they require without being criticised. It is difficult to stop or put an end to what the body and soul have become accustomed to over time, especially when it brings them pleasure.

It is true that the process of overcoming your addiction is more difficult than it was when your body became accustomed to it. It causes trauma and damage to the brain and body system if you simply want everything to cease operations immediately. It requires a gradual process and should not be rushed. Every addiction was once not in the body, so if you make the decision to stop it, it will undoubtedly leave your body one day.

A form of support for someone to stop so that it does not become a gambling addict again can be with many things, besides continuing to provide positive motivation and support such as encouraging beautiful words and can be accepted by a gentle human heart.

But criticism with negative delivery can also be a motivation and form of support for people who are addicted, like things underestimate people who want to stop gambling and then we underestimate it like "I am sure you will not be able to stop gambling because you are a fool" if you are a fool "if Consumed well and give rise to the spirit that you can quit addiction, isn't that a good thing, precisely people who are provoked emotions to change themselves for the better will be much faster in the process of achieving successfulness than people who are only given enthusiasm , as in the case in order to make money with hard work (but this method depends on the response of the person and the way he thinks).

Needless say that this is a really good advice, addiction is not a thing to be proud of, and it doesn't matter the kind or type of addiction, for whether it be addiction to gambling, porn and masturbation, alcohol, or drugs, non of this things is good to be addicted in, and someone who is addicted and wants to stopped have really seen the ugly side of the effect of this addiction, and have realized they need to stop before they are absolutely consumed.

The best we can really do for such people is to support them, being addicted to gambling and not finding help or support any where to aid the addicted to stop gambling and come out from such addiction have lead several young gamblers into destroying themselves, that is, committing suicide and so on.
Addiction is not what is to be joked with, and I hope that we all realize this and do our best to help the next addicted gambler we come across instead of mock the person.

The addict often denies the addiction but eventually it catches up to them and they realize that they have been trying to hide it for too long. It is how addiction and guilt works. But then the addict does not have any other place to go to unless their family supports them to come out of it. In the long run the cure is possible if the family works to help the family member in their journey.

The money of course is never coming back, so some criticism is normal from members and friends. That should motivate the person to make up the money.

If the addicted people talking to a stranger, they will not have a way to solve their problems because they can't get a solution from the right person. If they talking to their family or friends, they will gets suggestions from their family or friends that can makes them realizes what they did is wrong. They will gets a solution how to changes their habits because of playing gambling and will see supports comes from their family and friends. The important thing from the addicted person can do is accepting his addiction and trying to search for the solutions by asking for helps from their family and friends. But that depends on how their family and friends react with their addictions.

I also have the same experienced using the money for bills to playing gambling. I lose that money and yes, I regrets and trying to avoids that happens again. Yes, if we can be honest to our family about what we did, they will gives their hands to helps us and gives the solutions. Yes, I agree that supports from family is needed to helping the addict.

Yes, awareness is needed when someone playing gambling to realizes that he doesn't have a big chance to win the gambling games and needs to accepting whatever the outcomes. He can playing gambling but with limitations so he can enjoy playing gambling for having fun. If he can used gambling for having fun, he will not any problems because he will always manage his money and time that he used for playing gambling. When he is addicted to gambling and talks to his family, it's better his family supports him and not abandon him because that will makes him will thinks that he is alone solving his matters. He will not thinks long about what will happens next because when he feel alone, he can thinks shortly and no one will knows what he will do.

Yes, the addict needs to have awareness that he is addicted and needs helps from other people. The family must helps the addicted to cures his addiction so the process can works properly for the addicts.

That makes sense, maybe it is necessary to criticize every once in a while to make those who are addicted realize that what they are doing is wrong, because in reality someone who is addicted of course will not easily accept input from other people and with this also other people. being afraid to give harsh advice, only a few people and only certain people dare to advise those who are addicted harshly or with criticism that really slaps them. because to be able to recover from addiction is not easy, they have to be able to go through process after process and maybe it will be hard for them to go through.

I agree with you, of course if they really want to change they have to have their own desire first, because it's no use if other people criticize and advise them and if they themselves don't have awareness then it will be difficult for them to stop or recover from their addiction. They must be able to be open with everything, including accepting advice and direction from other people which helps to make them aware because it is also for their good in the future. It's true what you said, maybe some people really need to listen to criticism, also in my opinion there must be someone who can help their mindset change, if they can't change then there must be someone who can make them change.

Bringing up a person's past when he is in a period of improvement for a change will clearly be able to make someone brood and feel not cared about at all, we must understand that the process of healing from gambling addiction is not easy and must also be done by the person himself, and when they have managed to reach the realization that what they did was wrong and then they are determined to make changes in a better direction then obviously some support is needed even if it is at least just a suggestion, because for them such support can increase their enthusiasm to be stronger in carrying out the process of change.

On the other hand, it is quite natural that there are some people who ridicule or scorn them because the point of view of an addict in the eyes of society is quite negative so maybe this is what makes some people criticize rather than support, but yes, everyone must have made mistakes in their lives that can even harm others such as people affected by the person's gambling addiction, but as you said that there is nothing wrong with giving new space if indeed the addict has reached awareness and wants changes in his life, because after all they have good intentions to stay away from gambling.

If they indeed are trying to get rid of it, they need more compassion, and people who listen. But if they try to justify their actions by reasoning with illogical arguments to keep their addiction alive, i would say confrontation and critisizm are in order. Because there's a change that addicts surround themselves with yes men, and that nothing is their fault, and that they are fine as they are, then they don't need to change. Because in that way they don't have ever face the facts. They are loved as they are. No work required.

Wanting to change needs to come from inside, but what i mean with that is that i don't think any need for change would happen without clashing with real world and real people. Sometimes people need to face reality, and that can come in form of confrontation. To hear that they hurt others, to realize they need to change. Beacuse if all they get is endless accepting and no criticizim, that won't cut it for some people. As some of us can just use people as endless cargabe cans to pour their problems on. That kind of abuse happens as well, especially if addict is feeling so bad, that they don't have enough energy for empathy to see friends as humans. Then they become somekind of psychology relief machines to tell all their endless problems to. That gives them fast relief wihout needing to do any emotional heavy lifting for on themselves

So some people need to hear critizism too. Not just acceptance. It's like with our own kids when they have done something bad. We can love them as they are, even though we don't accept their actions.

This is like any other addiction, the path to recovery is always not smooth. But if you have the will and determination, in time, you will also achieve the change that you want for your life. That is, if you won't give up. It is normal that you will have a relapse, but what matters here is that once you figured out that you are going back to old habits again, you change the path and try to get out as soon as possible.


I believe that kind of support to a friend is very much needed not the nagging type one. Because all they need is love and understanding as they have inner battles to overcome as well.
If you are really a very close friend of an addict, try to look at other activities that you think will divert his attention from going back to his old habits such as -
> go to camping / hiking / road trip
> go to the beach and soak yourselves
> look for sports that you think he/she will be interested in
> go travel the world, or local tourist spots
> join charitable causes
> join meditation group

I agree with you. There are matters that we have to take seriously and gambling addiction is one of those. We are not supposed to criticize them but instead, we should be supporting them. Offer any help that we could give and even if it is the simplest one, I bet it will be appreciated especially from a person who is having trouble letting go of his bad habit.
Some will not just criticize, they will do the worse by gossiping it around until the gambling addict doesn't feel like he is safe in his environment anymore. This could lead to a person being unsocial or worse, he could become a suicidal person which ain't good. Some people just don't think before they talk and they don't even know that it is hurting another human life. They need help, it's either we just shut our mouths or we offer our hand so that he will feel like there are people who do care. Who knows, maybe that's all he needs. Someone who would be there and will not let him feel alone.

Obviously, I really support it according to the theme of your thread title. however, the first and most important support is: from the addict himself. if you don't have strong intentions, determination and so on. then the support given by family, relatives, friends, is only considered as a passing wind. I mean, someone who wants to recover from their addiction, whatever type it is. The first and most important thing is yourself. The question is, are they truly and sincerely willing to change. If so, intention and determination must be a package as initial tools to start fixing the addiction.

I'm interested in what you said, I'll quote it "It is not an easy decision for some of them to make, and even imagining that they will never gamble again can make it worse for them:". well, if it were easy there would be no non-profit communities, rehabilitation and so on related to gambling addiction. so, that's why it's not easy. and therefore also, an addict must support himself before getting support from his environment. whether it's family, friends, or relatives. If someone shows determination and strong intentions, support will flow automatically because that person shows their seriousness.

For me, criticism is important, but constructive criticism, not criticism that brings down. So, the point is not that someone or part of the family is criticizing. but show sincere intentions, strong determination if you want change. As for criticism, it is something that is normal and use the opposite, such as motivation, as a means of encouragement. prove it, if we can. well, something like that for me personally.

Simply put, awareness is the first step out of any abyss, especially the gambling pit. Admitting and discussing addiction is the actual challenge. The reality is brutal, right? Opening is dangerous because it demands vulnerability. Healing begins there, too. Family and friends are lifelines, not spectators. Their assistance is essential. Imagine realising you're not shouting into space. A hand is waiting to draw you back. It's powerful, right? Trust, trust binds. Knowing an army is behind someone fighting their demons changes the game

Two-way street. The addict must want and be ready for this trip. And supporters? Be prepared for the long haul. They don't have quick remedies. A marathon, not a sprint. Transformation occurs when people resolve to change, support, and travel this path together. No sugarcoating; it's hard. But is it worthwhile? Absolutely

The public fail to help in many situations, where a victim is in trouble. Human race is now headed towards jobs, wealth, and building economy. Barely do we see a scenario where humans collectively decide to help another. This attitude increases the troubles of addicts in the society. People now stay very careful, due to such stigmas. Like a friend would say, one can't be always careful. Gamblers are meant to be executing their skills with not much fear of failing. The fear of getting addicted, also leads to problem gambling. Removing such fear is important.

The societal negligence has affected the confidence of gamblers and make them to be careful not to end up addicted. But sooner, such players get addicted into gambling, due to lack of confidence. If players are given the opportunity to discuss with non-gamblers or family members without having any stigma or getting neglected, they'll feel relaxed while gambling. Knowing fully well that they're people who got his back. Gamblers, all, need an outside observer, that can detect the slightest change of behavior. Like I said previously, most people are occupied with their business, and the human race doesn't have such luxury to care about another. Even growing kids, barely get to see their parents.

The journey must begin with the addicted gambler. Some addicts prefer talking to a stranger about their addiction than to a friend or family member. This is wrong in my thinking. Friends and family are in the best position to help out. After an addict has accepted that he is into problem gambling, the support of friends and family becomes imperative since it will help the gambler to heal faster. The feeling of being loved and wanted by friends and family is good support for the addicted gambler. When one considers that family will not laugh at the addicted gambler but rather give a helping hand, the role of family becomes indispensable.

I remember gambling with money that was supposed to be used to settle some family bills. When my mom found out she didn’t talk down on me but handled the matter in a way that I felt self-guilt and vowed within myself not to repeat such behaviour. This lays credence to the fact that family support is key in helping an addict.

I agree with you. Don't bring up his past when he was addicted to gambling. And and underestimate someone's desire to stop gambling addiction. Sometimes someone who wants to quit really needs support from those closest to them and their friends. He needs moral support and motivation to fully recover from addiction. Give them space to change and recover from addiction. Because if we don't support him then he may think that he can no longer escape the label of a gambling addict and if his desire to stop is not appreciated, some people will return to being addicts because they think their family and friends no longer accept them.

Yes, that's true, addicted gamblers tend to gamble excessively so that it is detrimental to themselves and also to other people such as relatives or friends. in my opinion we have to support something that leads to the positive, like they want to stop their addiction, at that time we have to support them, so that they can go through process after process because stopping gambling is not easy, many gamblers fail when they want to stop gamble. It requires determination and strong intentions that are not easily shaken, which must be paid attention to.

It's true what you say, with those who are addicted to gambling, of course there is a big possibility that they will take bad actions, to the point that it is detrimental to themselves. like excessive gambling, which of course shouldn't be done, then we should be able to support them to recover from this detrimental addiction, even though it's not family, there's no harm in helping other people by giving them encouragement to recover.

Solving out addiction could really be just that done into those people who are really that willing to quit gambling for good and that would be already enough for them to get away such addiction.
Yes, its hard but its not impossible. It is really just that when it comes to seriousness and discipline then each person does have that different levels on which there are ones who could easily do it
and there are ones who do fail on this one. For those people whose around them and tending to make out some advises then there are individuals who are really that open to some advises and there are ones who arent and  this is why they would really be tending to hide as much as they could. As someone who do tend to make some advises then it would be always best on having that non aggressive approach rather than on scolding them.