Topic: Support, do not criticize. - page 6. (Read 1167 times)

I don't see anyone criticizing a addict trying to stop gambling here. Even in real life when I here someone trying to quit, I will definitely support it. Not just gambling addiction, anything that is bad and that affected that I known, I will be on their side and praying that they can overcome it.

And we all know what is going on behind, if we ourselves have gone on that same path before and we did recover. It's going to be very difficult and they should get the support and not to mock them, but to help them in every way we can.

Agree into this point somehow on which it is really that a valid one on which we know that there are people who do make out realizations on the possible harsh way rather than on being soft to them.
They wont really be making out those realization not until they would really be hearing out those kind of harsh words or criticisms. This is why we cant really be able to tell on what method or ways
that would work out or not. When it comes on making some advises then im not really that good into that, if we are talking into those close friends and known people or inside the family
then you would easily be able to say up such things into them, but for other people? For sure you would really be having those doubts on telling on.

This is why whenever i do saw someone whom i dont know but obviously he's already that addicted to gambling due to the actions that they are making then i do just
simply skip out and wouldnt really be putting up that much attention on how they should really be dealing up with the current things that they are
engaging with.

This is true and I agree with this.

But having an individual decision depends on how far the person's gambling addiction level is.

Some addicted people, at the extreme worst level, can't properly think of any good things and just focus on how to fulfill their gambling desires. These people need immediate help not just from those people around them but a top form of rehabilitation. Gamblers at that level didn't even know how to decide properly that's why even if we say that the decision to stop gambling is an individual decision, it can't be applied to these gamblers on that critical level.

For people that face reality, they quickly learn to control themselves, there are gamblers who are once addicted to gambling but after experiencing the losses they turn around and walk away, they only come back after they found how to risk minimal amount on gambling and they are doing well.

You must lose in gambling, it's not a free money making ATM machine, it's reality, you need lucky to defeat the casinos, so get used to using small money, this is what will keep you going, for a long period of time until you get lucky.

Some gamblers need criticism, you can use it on one and he will get curious why, telling them a harsh truth about gambling sometimes looks like criticism in their eye, that's why I said some of them need it, they will probably believe that you don't want the best for them, In their eye and mind, it's another version of criticism.

I hope people can realize that you can criticize and support someone at the same time, mentioning the issues you see that they have is a great way to identify and acknowledge the problem so it can be properly handled. criticism does not always mean that you are discouraging or mocking someone, it also shows the person you are criticising what improvement needs to be worked on, and from that, you can support them achieve those improvements.

I don't think anybody intentionally became addicted to gambling. Most people suffering from gambling disorder are not happy with their condition and they might do anything to come out of it. Mocking someone with any form of disorder is not only childish but dehumanizing. We should put ourselves in people's shoes before we criticise or blame them for their condition. I will always support anyone who needs support to become a responsible gambler. Even if they go back after some rehabilitation process, we still need to show them love and encourage them that the can achieve it. I have seen people who are addicted to gambling And I can tell you that it is not easy to gain freedom. It takes a lot of determination and sacrifice.

If the concept of this story is for a very serious gambling addict, they will definitely need a professional expert to deal with the addiction problem and when they are in the rehabilitation room, their family members or relatives will definitely be told the expert to provide guidance on how to provide support to someone who is addicted and of course, the family or relatives will follow the recommended rules to provide support so that the addict recovers from gambling addiction.
but if this case is in a gambling addict who is not too serious, it is better to provide gentle support or not need to use harsh criticism, such as when the gambler promises not to gamble again but one day he is caught betting again, we don't need to give harsh criticism enough do something that makes him feel that we really appreciate him so that the addict doesn't feel annoyed, for example, when we find out he is gambling again, it would be better if we approached him and pretended to ask him to go somewhere to buy something and talk about the purpose of stop gambling with soft talk.

I am sure that if we can appreciate the difficult efforts of a gambling addict who must be given support slowly, the addict will definitely have more positive thoughts thinking that he is really appreciated by all his family so that he continues to try to avoid gambling.

It should be when someone realizes the bad behavior they often do and the gambling addiction they experience. He is able to open his heart and mind so that he can accept criticism and suggestions that come to him. Because this is what can help him get out of this condition (gambling addiction).

And we need to know that criticism is constructive, not intimidating or bad-mouthing. So before a criticism is delivered, it must be thought carefully first. Good communication is the key to awakening someone from their addiction problem. We all know that gambling addicts cannot control their emotions well, so it is very easy for them to be offended by some of the words we try to convey. Therefore, convey this criticism with full empathy and understanding, by being able to understand the individual's situation. well, this can help us to create an inclusive and supportive environment. And if, for example, we still express criticism emotionally, then what is the difference between us and a gambling addict who is unable to control his emotions well?

Not showing support to anyone who's trying to quit gambling addiction is actually not a good thing to do because it will only cause this persons to go back to such unhealthy habit and probably turn out to be a menace to the society, it's actually a difficult decision for someone to take in the direction of quiting gambling so it's worthy of note that not giving them the needed support can actually be traumatic and may cause them not to ever be able to come out of the gambling habit because they aren't get the needed support that will foster their exit or give them enough reason to know that they shouldn't continue with such as it's only detrimental to them.

Always show support to people who are trying to quit gambling addiction, as much as you can show that supports, probably pay for their therapy sections, help them avoid triggers and assist them with some funds when they need according to how much you can help them with. Apart from gambling addiction, there are other forms of addiction that you can actually help people quit too.

Support is symbolic form of caring for other people, especially if this is related to people closest to them or even family members, so support really needs to be given so that they can continue to maintain and do what they have really started, such as efforts to recover from addiction gambling.
Support provided can trigger feelings of enthusiasm with the belief that they can do it and be able to get through everything by suppressing various desires in gambling.
If they decide to recover and one day want to try again, we have the right to give advice that indirectly reminds them to stick to what has been previously determined.
Giving criticism will never help but it will make them feel like they don't care and can create bad feelings towards the people around them.

Previously, it has often been said that support and care from the people around especially family, will always have good impact on person development in overcoming the problem of gambling addiction.
Role of the family will be the same as doctor when in hospital, the doctor will provide medicine and encouragement, while the family will provide support and advice in solving problems related to gambling addiction.

Very good topic and well said.  I hate when people get bashed over stuff like this, as so many people simply have no compassion.  Gambling addiction is a disease, plain and simply.

It's sort of like in the Netherlands ( I believe thats where it is).  Criminals (no hardcore, ie not murderers) I reformed in jail.  Taught to learn from their mistakes, understand why they made them, and work towards not making them again.  Stark contract from jail here in the US where you'll be raped, treated like shit, and given few opportunities to better yourself. 

Damming and shaming people does not help.  Support and education does!

Based on how experience and case from most people in gambling.

In first place, the family are supporting any victim or gambler addiction. However, the former gambler addiction sometimes doing the same things again and repeated the cycle. It's hard but in the end the family or people had enough for him.

To be honest, It's really hard especially while they already started to do a crime, borrowing money, or selling some stuff.

You have to balance criticism with support. To only go for one or another is a bad idea, because or it will put the addicted individual in a hostile position towards you and the treatment, or it will put him in a comfort zone where he will feel like no effort and changes should be done by him, because he is going to be supported in every cases.

Support must be offered when he adopts positive instances towards the treatment, so you use support as encouragement, reinforcement. On the other hand, criticism can be used when you feel like the addicted person is getting too loose, and retreating on his progress, so you use this as punishment.

You have to know when to use both of them in a way the gambler won't understand support as a reinforcement to his addiction. That would be devastating, and actually that is the problem with every permissive socities.

Problems that have not been accepted can not be addressed, most gamblers don't want to accept that they have a gambling addiction problem and they just give themselves stupid excuses that makes them feel better, and some of them are quite stubborn and won't accept your advice if you try to point it out to them they might get into an argument with you especially if they know that your also gamble like them.

Criticizing isn't a good practice at all cause, not everyone is happy with their habit and might be looking for a means to stop it, so what I actually do myself is to be plain with them I'll tell them the effects of their habit on their finance and how it's ruined them, I just keep pointing out the bad side to them and at times mostly not direct so it doesn't look like I am insulting them, then I offer to be of help is I see a sign of them weakend by my speach, if you really want to be of help I think you must tell them the truth not to criticize but to show them that they are wrong.

Criticizing never helps, it will only drive the person into hiding and gambling in secret. Overcoming an addiction is not a easy task, you need all the help you can get. Support from family and friends is much needed. Even professionals recommend that the addict joins a support group where they can feel free to talk about their problem without fear of being judged. Being in a room with people who have been where you are and understand your situation plays a major role in helping the addict recover. Seeing others overcome the same problem you’re fighting is a great motivation.

Trying to snap out of this vice of gambling addiction is a long process which relies on support from family & friends, but as humans I honestly think criticism will always be there and what counts is it being positive and not negative...besides there is always going to be that person that wants to be negative about everything and it's these people you want to avoid.


Fighting gambling addiction has to start with you first, if we are going to expect others to do it for us but don't want to put in the effort then am afraid all this will be for nothing!! And AFAIK for as long as the will power is there, not even the negative critiques can stop this as change begins with you.

There's no right or wrong answer, some people think criticism is better than support because it will make people realize faster if they were doing stupid thing and they shouldn't repeat that in the future, but some people think support is better because it need steps to steps in order to change someone.

So which ones better? support or criticize? that depends on each person.

Part of the recovery of gamblers is emotional support, if those who are dear to them cannot give that then their beloved gambler, his life will be wasted, and those people around them should be educated on the right way to treat gamblers who are in the process of healing, gamblers are usually sensitive people, they will not open up easily if they know they can fully trust people around them.

So criticism should have no place or come out of the mouths of people around them, or else they will keep everything to themselves and they will avoid people who criticize them on their actions.
Gamblers do not want to be judged they experience self-pity every time they lose a lot of money, they have low self-esteem so if you criticize them they will treat you as their adversary.

I really don't know why people see criticism as a very bad thing, sometimes criticism works faster than advice. You can be advising someone about something, maybe a bad habit or something yet the person ignores all the advice and still continue doing what he's doing, but you'll observe that when the person starts getting criticized for that, he'll get tired of being criticized and before you know it, start effecting changes. It's very important to learn from constructive criticism rather than letting it hurt our feelings or make us feel bad about ourselves.

What was previous criticism like? because criticism is constructive, not insulting or ridiculing, if you just talk without providing a solution, that's not criticism, but just commenting. Indeed, sometimes criticism can feel harsh and slapping, because when talking about criticism we will state facts about the person we are criticizing. And criticism should be delivered wisely and with good consideration.

And when we are unable to accept criticism from other people, then don't ever hope that there will be progress within ourselves. So try to be someone who is open and able to accept all opinions and criticism that comes from anyone, and respond to all of it well, indeed sometimes when criticism comes it can feel bitter, but think of it as herbal medicine which even though it tastes bitter but it is a drug that can make us healthy.