Gambling by financial dependents. - page 27.

Oilacris

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Quote from: uneng on August 18, 2023, 06:15:59 PM

Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

The problem in this case isn't gambling itself, but the possibility the son is stealing money from the mother. That is a very serious issue. He said to not have stolen anything, but if it wasn't he, who was it, then? I think for a mother to accuse her own son of such terrible crime it means she has strong evidences of that, correct? Because when you point your finger to someone calling him a thief, you are directly attacking the honor of this person, so you must be sure of what you are doing.

What I can say is that this situation should be further investigated before reaching any conclusions here.

If he wont be stopping on engaging with gambling then sooner or later his son would definitely be stealing up something from her which it is really that a huge problem specially on family-related issues or problems which needs to be cut-off or needed up some solution. We know that active dealing with gambling could really be potentially be making you that an addicted person and this is a must thing that

should really be avoided but scolding out your children wont do something good but rather they would become that rebelious.This is why i do agree on some points that in order to solve this one then
better talk one on one with your child and telling them on stopping or minimizing on doing gambling because it doesnt really give out that good financial status or condition but rather on too much spending on leisure or entertainment is always that not a good step to make. Cutting off the allowance might be the key but on the time that you are on a tough situation then this would might spark out
on making your child stealing specially if the addiction is severe.

macson

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

it's not easy to raise a child especially when they grow up and turn into someone who is independent and don't listen to advice from parents anymore, If i were to become the parent of this adult boy, i would try to talk heart to heart with him about the negative impact that might happen to him if he could not control his gambling activities. Besides that, he would also tell him that living humans have responsibilities and when he is able to make his own money then it is his right to use the money but limit it to gambling capital.

danherbias07

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There's a little percentage of boys that are responsible at 18 years of age. So yes, he may look responsible now, but what about a year later if he keeps on doing that? The worst case scenario is, he is doing that thing while he was underage and faking his ID. Did you ask the boy who taught him to gamble? I bet his friends are the ones who urge him to do that if his mother is against it. Because there will be no example in the house and he should've not learned about it.
There is a simple way to make him stop and it actually doesn't need a long talk.
Stop it or you won't receive any money anymore. Because that's the problem, he is still dependent on the money he receives and he won't likely have any means to gamble if no one gives him cash. I doubt he will also find a decent job especially if he is hooked to the gambling game.

Also, suggest to the Mommy to stop using credit cards because once it is stolen by the boy then he can just swipe it away. Use debit instead with a password that is not hers or his birthdate. Don't bring cash.

uneng

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

The problem in this case isn't gambling itself, but the possibility the son is stealing money from the mother. That is a very serious issue. He said to not have stolen anything, but if it wasn't he, who was it, then? I think for a mother to accuse her own son of such terrible crime it means she has strong evidences of that, correct? Because when you point your finger to someone calling him a thief, you are directly attacking the honor of this person, so you must be sure of what you are doing.

What I can say is that this situation should be further investigated before reaching any conclusions here.

Smartvirus

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What I would have said is that, he gambles responsibly but from the OP, yiu say his already doing that which means, he ain't got no problem. I think who has a problem or who needs advice is the parent.
Some patents needs to come to terms with the fact that, their kid is a young adult and has fly the net. Yeah, though till dependent, there comes a time in a child's life where they want certain things, want to experience things the adult way and there happens to be very little a parent can do about it. You can't hover over them for ever. If you did a good job in the upbringing of the child, it becomes a time where you trust in your upbringing to aid your child chose between vice and a morally guided life.

Let him play if he must and he alone could find reasons not to. You can only put options before him but, he's got yo chose freely and not because he's been pressured to.

Rockstarguy

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

She understands what it would be like for him when their is no body he could get money from, she is aware what addiction in gambling can turn people into just to satisfy their interests in gambling. It is dangerous for young people who do not have any source of income to be lover of gambling, it can change their mindset which they can take gambling as a way to generate money that will end up getting them to be addicted to gamble. I see her reason why she is so worried about her son because she knows the side effects.

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

Those small habits will be very destructive in time. IMO it's best to heed the advice of the mother in order to curb this possible gambling addiction. You'll never know how deep you would want to be in this hobby especially if there is an incentive every time you win from it. Anything that will give you rewards, you will go back to no matter the risks are. That's how our brains are wired.

mirakal

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Mother always knows best. But at this time, even if his mother will consistently discourage him from gambling, we cannot guarantee that his son will follow her. The fact that online gambling is just one click away, that makes it even harder on part of the parents to stop their son from continuous gambling. But as you’ve said OP, the boy seems gambling responsibly, and at his current age, he’s mature enough to think what is right from wrong. In the future, if he’ll steal money from his mother just to finance his gambling, I know it will never bring him good in the long run so he’ll still learn his own lesson from doing so.

maydna

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Better to prevent than to keep letting him play gambling because we don't know whether he can really be responsible while playing gambling or get out of control during gambling. But usually, at only eighteen years old, he is prone to losing control and getting emotional, so it is better if you advise him to stop gambling. After all, there are still many interesting things that he can do at such a young age, such as doing things that can distract him so that he can gradually reduce his time playing gambling. Usually, this depends on the concern of the people around him, how the parents supervise him, and how close the child is to his parents and other family members. So if he is very close to his parents and other family members, they can start helping him by giving him attention or making him think that it is best to leave gambling before something bad happens.

goinmerry

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

What will be your advice for this young boy?

Will our advice, comments, and suggestion will probably reach the said boy?

I think any advice that we will say here doesn't matter because, in the first place, you know that boy more than us. It's easy for us to say, "go tell that kid to stop", as if it will really stop and ends there. I know you know what to do more than us here and no need for us to specifically advice what should the boy must do.

As per your observation, the kid is a responsible gambler at young age therefore you just need to do some tweaks to just enjoy the gambling for now and don't take it seriously. Have time to give that kid a friendly talk then observe what will happen later on.

You can do it, bro. It's in your hands now where that kid should go.

DoublerHunter

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

~snip~
What will be your advice for this young boy?

^ I think the best thing that you can do for now with your nephew is to give some advice.
Encourage her family member and her son to have an open and honest conversation about his gambling habits. This could help them better understand each other's perspectives and find common ground. Suggest to your nephew the importance of setting clear limits for his gambling activities. He could decide on a specific amount of money he's comfortable using for gambling and sticks to it, ensuring he does not dip into essential funds. You can help them in different ways.

anjiitem

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

What will be your advice for this young boy?

If he is already familiar with the world of gambling then actually that is very unfortunate, but in my opinion sometimes in life things like that they need to know as well as long as there is someone who can control and direct him not to overdo it in gambling or other negative activities.
I think you are someone he respects because your nephew is telling the truth to you, so my suggestion is that maybe you can be a role model for your nephew and be someone who directs him that gambling is okay as long as it's not excessive and provides understanding and explanation to him that the system in gambling is mostly to the detriment of the gambler so let him judge for himself so they can proceed to appreciate the money they get more.
Then you can also teach him or give advice to your nephew so that the money he gets instead of being used for gambling should be used to invest to save his future.

ChiBitCTy

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I think this one is pretty simple, the mother needs to cut him off period. I know that this may seem hard/harsh, but it sounds like if she just keeps feeding him money, he's going to just continue to use it to gamble, so cut him off and see how he likes that. He's of age where he can live and work and fend for himself on his own..so put him to the test.

This is what I would do anyhow.

Stedsm

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Well, he's of legal age if we talk about your country, so I don't think he's doing anything wrong (if and only if, he's not stealing anything and that, your family member is telling you the complete truth and there isn't any violence involved here - because when it comes to money, a person can do anything).

Now, even if he's doing it for fun and is of legal age, just try to make him understand that this isn't a source of income and so, he shouldn't take it so seriously as it might get tough for him to leave it as and when he wants if he starts seeing it as a way to earn money, which gambling isn't. I'd advice you to go with him and watch his gambling activities personally like a guardian because in such cases, parental guidance is necessary and if his mother is okay with him, you should still catch up with him and monitor him whenever he gambles.

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Quote from: Sim_card on August 18, 2023, 04:10:02 PM

Quote from: BitcoinPanther on August 18, 2023, 03:22:17 PM

Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

I would advice him to stop gambling. Imagine the hardworks his parents is going through just to provide his needs, then all of a sudden instead of saving the money he spend it on gambling. It is not a matter of whether he steals or not. It is a matter of giving value to the money his parents is giving him as an allowance and as a dependent, he should think the sacrifices of his parents and should stop gambling because his parents wanted him to stop, as a respect he must heed his parents advice.

He can then continue his gambling activities or engagement if he is not dependent on his parents or working and getting fund for gambling himself.

Since he is not working yet,there is no need for him to gamble. I know that he must have being doing much of it that was why his mom was aware of his gambling activities. If he wants to gamble let the boy wait until he is independent of his parents,then he can use his hard earned money to do whatever he likes. Can you imagine that the parents of the boy might not be a gambler but a fraction of the house income goes on gambling due to giving their son pocket money and he set it aside for gambling. If he is not cautioned, the boy might end up stealing to gamble because he is not working.

As fair as it could be he just has to stop gambling since he's not yet living on his own but entirely dependent on his parents. One thing for sure is that those pockets money giving to him by the parents were given under the notion of him using it to get few things for himself but to show how irresponsible he is based on his age he's rather redirecting the monies to gambling. Money the parents could used to solve other family needs In the house.

If I were to be his parents I would temporarily terminate giving him pocket money and put him on strict surveillance, because gambling is not something that people without any source of income should engage in not to talk of a dependant, the end there of is that he will start stealing from the parents and relatives to satisfy his gambling lifestyle and for people like that addiction is easy to get hold of them.

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Quote from: Johnyz on August 18, 2023, 04:26:40 PM

He’s too young to be called a responsible gamblers because its hard to tell the truth and if that guy started to experience big losses, there’s a chance for him to do something that might affect his young life.

I don’t know what’s happening in our generation now where many young people are already into gambling, its too risky for them and we know the possible risk of being exposed in gambling.

21 is the legal age in my country but many are still playing despite of the age limit and if you’re still dependent with your allowance then your parents should call your attention and have to talk to you. Imagine at that age you are already into gambling, I don’t want to judge but hopefully you OP can help your cousin to get out of that gambling hobby because it can into addiction later on.

Johnyz

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He’s too young to be called a responsible gamblers because its hard to tell the truth and if that guy started to experience big losses, there’s a chance for him to do something that might affect his young life.

I don’t know what’s happening in our generation now where many young people are already into gambling, its too risky for them and we know the possible risk of being exposed in gambling.

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Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

Sound a bit "Extreme". There are many many steps, layers, I mean, everything literally, before some one start to steal just to play some bets.
Even with few bucks like a couple of bets during the weekend... Its like he start to drink some beers during lunch "he Is on alcohol" .... Come on .... Only one suggestion for the boy: have fun and enjoy your time without wasting money!

Sim_card

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Quote from: BitcoinPanther on August 18, 2023, 03:22:17 PM

Quote from: Zlantann on August 18, 2023, 03:17:53 AM

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

I would advice him to stop gambling. Imagine the hardworks his parents is going through just to provide his needs, then all of a sudden instead of saving the money he spend it on gambling. It is not a matter of whether he steals or not. It is a matter of giving value to the money his parents is giving him as an allowance and as a dependent, he should think the sacrifices of his parents and should stop gambling because his parents wanted him to stop, as a respect he must heed his parents advice.

He can then continue his gambling activities or engagement if he is not dependent on his parents or working and getting fund for gambling himself.

Since he is not working yet,there is no need for him to gamble. I know that he must have being doing much of it that was why his mom was aware of his gambling activities. If he wants to gamble let the boy wait until he is independent of his parents,then he can use his hard earned money to do whatever he likes. Can you imagine that the parents of the boy might not be a gambler but a fraction of the house income goes on gambling due to giving their son pocket money and he set it aside for gambling. If he is not cautioned, the boy might end up stealing to gamble because he is not working.

Fatunad

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Quote from: Westinhome on August 18, 2023, 03:30:18 PM

Quote from: klidex on August 18, 2023, 02:16:00 PM

Your story reminds me of a case in my city not long ago a minor was addicted to playing slots and this child was only 14 years old until he owed his neighbor a total of $40 and after that when he ran out of money he stole goods from his neighbors to sell and the money is used for gambling.
At first all the neighbors not suspect that the boy was stealing because they did not know about his gambling activities, but one night my friend tried to lurk in someone house and saw the boy and his friend stealing things and my friend caught them and was interrogated, all of them turned out to be playing slot.

After that, best way is to return it to the parents and put it in a psychology doctor to give lessons about the dangers of gambling and carry out rehabilitation and also when the child is given less money at home, which is only enough to buy food and drinks.
Maybe this method is a little more helpful and the most appropriate way only his family can determine.

Some children doesn't have enough money to play the gambling,So such children will do the steal habit and it only reflected after complete monitoring.Because the neighbor will not focus the children at the beginning,mostly they target the workers of their house.So the children will not get enough money to play the gambling in long run.The best way for the children is they need to win the big amount before being captured by the neighbor.From the winning money the children will play the gambling on the upcoming days.

Simply cut the money source on which this would be simply be cutting off with that bad habit. If the parents of that boy would really be limiting out on giving that allowance or giving the amount which its only sufficient for

his commute or food spending then he would definitely be doubts on using it on gambling.This is the only way which i could really be able to say on which is to minimize or cut off extra money for him to be able to play.
There are people or type of person who cant really be able to do bad things despite on being addicted.They are really that still in good control with their sense and awareness on whats good and bad.
On the time that they cant play just because they dont have the budget, then they would eventually be able to overcome out that kind of impulsive dealing with gambling.

As a parent then better to give them some advises about on stopping or cutting on dealing with gambling which it isnt really that good. This would really be making you as a gambler
which we know that spending up money would really be limitless on the time that you do have the funds then you would continue on doing it.

Topic: Gambling by financial dependents. - page 27. (Read 4202 times)