when i am grown up, i have kids and wife now, i need to work very hard, to get a lot of money in the job. if i got a paycut, or i got fired, i am very scared to go home, i can't sleep well, my head is sweating, the memory of getting zero mark in a test keep haunting me like the nightmare, i need to go out and make a lot of money!!
tell me anything i need to do to make a lot of money. doesn't matter what, i would do anything to get all the money, even if it mean unlawful and unethical!
I think that your childhood traumas were caused by your parents or other authority figures making unrealistically high demands of you because they were taught the same way and they think that such an upbringing must somehow be right. It is more important for you to overcome this trauma before you can live a happy life. Unless you live in a place with extreme poverty, getting a job after being fired is not hard. You just have been conditioned to be fearful of failure. But failure is important. It teaches us and makes us greater. Would your family starve if you had to find a new job? Would something terrible happen if you were to get a bad grade? No. That failure would have forced you to find a new path for success. Perhaps even a better path.