Is marriage a kind of punishment? - page 5.

rby

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The concept of the OP is very true in some society . However, there are certain cultural melliu that made people to forcefully made woman as if they were slaves or house mate. Normally women suppose to be treated as Queen and not in the other way round. In our modern times, women also involved in works, business endeavour to assist husband, therefore they should not be treated orderwise, except lack of exposure or simplicity allows such.

Saying of treating the woman like a queen. This thing is culture by culture. There is some culture that does not permit the woman to do anything in the house for a particular number of years. There is also a culture that says that women will remain in a particular house and fo nothing apart from eating.
Some culture also do not allow women to work or do any other things apart from being house wives. But people are mixing up and those cultures are going down.

paxmao

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Quote from: Applechild on September 18, 2018, 08:46:01 AM

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true? Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

It would seem that in your country is kind of a social mandate for females to get married, so there will be cases, many cases, in which it can be considered a painful situation as it is not a choice that they can make and I assume that many times, they get little say on the choice.

It all comes to education and culture. If you think of Scandinavian and central European countries, even most regions in Southern Europe, the roles are much more balanced. They key is allowing women to get educated and they will never accept a secondary role.

Lordhermes

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Marriage is not a punishment, Marriage involve planning from the couples for things to be easy for the family. That is why couples need to have good agreement concerning the responsibility of the family to keep moving easily.

Exactly! Compatibility is the major criteria for marriage,the partners must see that they are very compatible before they will choose to marry,else the marriage will turn to be a tug of war.

Most persons marry when they've not known their partner well,and when issues come up,they find it difficult to solve it.

rby

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Quote from: PreciousH on February 02, 2022, 08:56:15 AM

No, marriage is not a kind of punishment. However, marriage becomes impure if there is no mutual understanding between couples. It becomes punishable. So, couples have to understand to each other.

There is difference between mutual understanding and the culture of the people. Op mentioned some countries, so we need to know if it is the culture of the people of that place or it is a matter of understanding.
If it is culture what do we say about people that practice feminism.

PreciousH

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No, marriage is not a kind of punishment. However, marriage becomes impure if there is no mutual understanding between couples. It becomes punishable. So, couples have to understand to each other.

Similificator

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Quote from: Lordhermes on January 28, 2022, 07:07:50 PM

Quote from: Similificator on January 28, 2022, 09:45:41 AM

You could never be more wrong with your mindset. Just because a small percentage of people arpund you is like this, it doesn't mean that most men are like what you are saying. Right now I am telling you, not all women feel bad being married. If there is somebody to blame, then blame the chain that binds the children to become what they are when they grow up which is bad culture or tradition. If parents do not dare to change and break this cycle nothing will change. The only thing you can do is spread awareness and make sure your children and grandchildren do mot follow such bad beliefs and practices.

Most atimes marriage seems like a punishment when evil befall you in ur marriage.Lets not forget that so many person's have died because of marriage and so called love.

Some person marry into a place that they don't like them,and in that kind of place,if care is not taken,your life will be terminated because of marriage.

In some parts of the world they see marriage as a do or die affair,while some parts don't see it too important. But in all,meeting the right person is all that is important.

I see your point. But such things only happen to those who do not know how to have a proper balance between logical thinking and emotional thinking. Too much of anything is never good for anyone. So marriage itself isn't the one who should be taking the blame but the two people within it that acted rashly in the spur of the moment. Which is why divorce came into being so that people who make such mistakes can break free(except for countries that do not legalize divorce). I pity the children though that gets implicated because of the bad decisions of the parents.

For different perspectives, marriage is : sacred, reputation saver, a bridge or a prison. But no matter how it is viewed, the fact that it is a result of a set of prior decisions from both parties never changes.

Lordhermes

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Quote from: Similificator on January 28, 2022, 09:45:41 AM

You could never be more wrong with your mindset. Just because a small percentage of people arpund you is like this, it doesn't mean that most men are like what you are saying. Right now I am telling you, not all women feel bad being married. If there is somebody to blame, then blame the chain that binds the children to become what they are when they grow up which is bad culture or tradition. If parents do not dare to change and break this cycle nothing will change. The only thing you can do is spread awareness and make sure your children and grandchildren do mot follow such bad beliefs and practices.

Most atimes marriage seems like a punishment when evil befall you in ur marriage.Lets not forget that so many person's have died because of marriage and so called love.

Some person marry into a place that they don't like them,and in that kind of place,if care is not taken,your life will be terminated because of marriage.

In some parts of the world they see marriage as a do or die affair,while some parts don't see it too important. But in all,meeting the right person is all that is important.

Similificator

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You could never be more wrong with your mindset. Just because a small percentage of people arpund you is like this, it doesn't mean that most men are like what you are saying. Right now I am telling you, not all women feel bad being married. If there is somebody to blame, then blame the chain that binds the children to become what they are when they grow up which is bad culture or tradition. If parents do not dare to change and break this cycle nothing will change. The only thing you can do is spread awareness and make sure your children and grandchildren do mot follow such bad beliefs and practices.

PreciousH

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In my opinion, marriage is not a kind of punishment if the marriage relationship is good between husband and wife. But if there is not good relationship between them then it becomes dirty. Treating with wife badly may hurt her turning into a kind of punishment.

dataispower

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Quote from: lumbanrang on December 28, 2021, 10:34:40 PM

there is something that cannot be avoided by humans, that is their nature. Women are basically created by God to take care of the family, while men are created to earn a living for the family. now it's just a matter of how the couple makes a promise, do they want to work together or just let one do the hard work.

But at hundred percent of women, forty five percent want to base on their husbands, women are diabolical. Some of women know their boundary adjustment but they will not to operate in such way, only thing that will make a man to live with woman with out problem is the man is ready to accept to be wrong almost every time issues are present

Lordhermes

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First and foremost marriage is a sweet and honorable thing that is if u meet the right spouse, but it serves purnishment to those who get married because of one thing or the order, for instance, a lot of ladies nowadays get married cause of money but at the end of the day they suffer it when the man goes bankrupt, some men get married because of beauty but when the beauty fades,they also suffer it.If the wife gets engaged in an accident they'll feel they are been purnished,that is why the foundation of any relationship should be based on love, trust.

Dunamisx

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Quote from: Applechild on September 18, 2018, 08:46:01 AM

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true? Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

As it applies to a man so it is applicable to a woman, lesson notes:
Marriage is honourable and meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured
Don't expect to get the love you dont give in return, love each other
Pray together, plan together, dine together and let your best friend be your spouse
Don't create an illegal external affairs with other women outside your matrimonial home
Be a responsible man that pays attention to detect any discrepancies in marriage
Woman should also love her husband with the wholesomeness of her being
Create quality time worth reckoning with your partner to hangout
Did you both start your relationship with friendship then courtship before marriage or your marriage is a mistake as a result of pregnancy.

Ebede

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Quote from: Lordhermes on January 14, 2022, 05:15:20 PM

It depends on where you end up,and who you end up being with that determine how the situation will look like.
If you marry a wicked or bad person,then surely the marriage is going to be a war to you.

The only complications in marriage is the way one must be open in everything he or she does,no privacy,no secrete,and forever committed to only one person.

How can you know the wife that is wicked and wife that is not wicked, no person is wicked it depends on the husband's character because the character of a man will bring the bad character of a woman, you will notice punishment in marriage when you have nothing to do and woman provide almost 70% of daily bread

Lordhermes

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It depends on where you end up,and who you end up being with that determine how the situation will look like.
If you marry a wicked or bad person,then surely the marriage is going to be a war to you.

The only complications in marriage is the way one must be open in everything he or she does,no privacy,no secrete,and forever committed to only one person.

majorphones

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Marriage is the union of a man and a woman where both promise to be there for better or worse. There are people who are trash and take advantage of marriage to be parasites. But this does not necessarily imply that marriage is a punishment.

acener

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It would depends on you and your partner on how you would act and treat each other,
It could end up as a punishment if they wouldn't work it out, respect and care for each other.
I think those who feel that marriage is a punishment are having a hard time with their partner because they aren't how they are before they got married,
The spark,fun,thrill or flirting is gone it isn't how they were before.

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Quote from: Applechild on September 18, 2018, 08:46:01 AM

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true? Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

Marriage is ordained by God, and it purpose is companionship not slavery,women are not slaves they are helpers,husband and wife suppose to work together and raise Godly kids,pray together, do house chores together, discuss and make themselves happy,chores are not only meant for women,also man is to provide for the family and woman will respect the man and care for the kids,and they should understand each other.

Amuls

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Man is a social being. We creat some rules to maintain society so that we can live the society peacefully. Marriage is one of the social rule. The concept of Marriage is the beginning, the beginning of the family and is a lifelong commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also an emotional union.

Lubcub62

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Marriage should be based on love and affection. then if the marriage has been based on love and affection. then no man will want to burden his wife. because if the husband loves his wife then the husband will always pay attention to his wife and provide for all needs and treat wounds when injured and help work when the wife is tired.

as in Islam I found that a woman's job in the household is only to raise children and serve her husband. and the rest is the husband's responsibility. such as washing dishes, washing clothes and preparing food and earning a living are the obligations of the husband or man.
you can see it in arabic area. women there are like queens they are not burdened with heavy work in the household. because the husband if he feels he can't help his wife at home then the husband looks for a housemaid to take care of the work tasks that should be his obligations.

but I also see this sad condition in my country (asia). I saw a woman working for her husband. and her husband stayed at home.
when he came home from work the wife immediately cleaned the house. and it was a very suffocating sight.

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