Topic: Is marriage a kind of punishment? - page 10. (Read 2022 times)

It is indeed a punishment when you marry a person you don't love.
Who would marry someone that is hated so much? or never loved?
It is a punishment if you marry a person and you don't have a stable mind, income and health. You would causetrouble not only to yourself but to the people around you.

bottomline is, why would you settle for something and someone you are not sure to be with.
marriage takes time to think

I have seen a lot of people with this mind, set and honestly their lives are miserable. I think some man behave this way due to his culture or the mindset that he was raised on. People are naturally born free no matter what you do for them you can never enslave them. husband and wife should work together and determine their strength and weaknesses so that they could live most optimal live they could, live decisions of a family should not be one sided nor the responsibilities.

At what point in the post portrays confusion, I will like to know. You are missing the point. I guess it is just a comment to earn your weekly reward. I understand because you neither here or there.

Well if a man is busy working and the woman doesnt then she clearly must take care of the house or who will if she doesnt want to care for the house then she can look for a job so that a housecleaner can be hired still it also would not be fair for a woman to sit at home and not clean or work. I think you are confused in the matter no one in this world gets anything for free. Now mistreating someone is a whole different subject and field just because you are married doesnt mean you have to sustain to be mistrested by your partner and this goes for both male/female.

Marriage, I think, can be a kind of punishment and also can't be. I believe that if we took marriage not seriously that we don't choose it with our heart, then marriage can be seen as a punishment as we would live our life into something that isn't true in terms of what we feel. But if we would take it seriously, then the thing that makes it somehow a punishment could be the struggles but I believe that this is just in the matter of mindset. If we would take it positively, then it would be not a punishment at the end of the day.

marriage is punishment if you'll marry a wrong person but when you marry the right person who will take care of you, love you even when you've done mistake she/he will forgive you and most of all there will always be at your side in bad times and good times, staying with you what ever happens, then,  there will always help you up when your down .

actually, it is not punishment at all because it's our choice to fell in love and to have our own family. It is a sacrament which is establish between two lovers.

For all the men, regardless of your background, tribe, colour, country and status, if you are doing the right thing keep on doing it but if you are not, it is not too late to try. The change we are looking for, begins with us -you and I. Someone said the first thing to be in life is to be human. when you have that at the back of your mind,then you will understand and have compassion for others who are equally humans like yourself.

I wish all that and more.

There are sadly some parts of the world and cultures where marriage is still essentially modern day slavery and women are treated as second-class citizens that are basically just expected to stay at home and cook and clean and have sex with their husbands when they want it and that's about it. I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that women age more in marriage, though. I'm sure the men who are the breadwinners and go out and work hard all day also feel the stress of this expectation on them (though I'm not discounting how hard it is to raise children and be the home-maker).


I agree with that this used to be the case, but luckily attitudes have changed very fast over the past few decades and now men and women are mostly equal on this front (at least in my country), though obviously some women do choose to stay at home and be 'housewives' and look after the children and so on. I have no issue with that as long as it's their choice and there's no expectation on them. I have no issue with a man staying at home and doing this role instead either.



I don't agree with this. Marriage was essentially created for men to claim ownership of "their" property ie wives, not for the betterment of society. I think marriage is born out of male insecurity and wanting some kind of contract that legally ties the women to them forever. I think a lot of oppression of women is born out of male insecurity and them not being able to handle the thought of anyone 'messing' with "their" property/wife. Why do women in some Muslim countries wear burka or niqabs? Those were rules imposed by the men of society because they want to keep "their" women covered so no other men get any ideas and are enticed by a bit of skin and try have their way with their wife. Once that women is married then they become the property of that man and the only person who should lay eyes on them are their husbands and that's a very sad state of affairs

Marriage is not a kind of punishment, it will be a punishment if you choose to marry a person that you didn't love and didn't love you back. I don't think that marriage is a punishment, it is our right to marry the person we love to be with them for the rest of our lives, and for me, there is no punishment if you truly love a person you marry.

In the West many people would argue the roles the OP describes are reversed and they feel like the women get to relax while the men work. Of course this is a generalization, but it does not make it inaccurate. There are many social and economic differences that cause these results in both places.

IMO marriage was originally conceived of to build society, and a lot of evidence supports this premise. Human beings left without societal norms will often instead of building families, which are the fuel that builds economies and societies, will tend to fall into less constructive rolls. What tends to happen is the women gravitate towards the top 20% of men, and those men form sort of "harems" of women and the rest of the 80% of men do not form family units which are critical for a society's development. This is often referred to as the Pareto principle, and is also supported by numerous peer reviewed studies as well as internal analysis of dating sites.

As a result of this problem, the concept of marriage was implemented to balance the natural tendencies evolved in women for hypergamy, searching for the best conditions for themselves and their children, with the need to build society we all benefit from.

Obviously the intent of marriage was to create a balance from the natural order, but like any human system it is imperfect and often does fall out of balance.

I wish everywhere in the world women were free to chose their husband and treated equally. I believe true love means mutual respect between partners. Which means share the chores, the work, the rewards. I also wish everywhere in the world women would be brought up with faith in themselves and be allowed to become whatever they want - business woman, politican or kindergarden teacher, which ever. I wish women were free to wear what they want, to have their bodily integrity intact.

Marriage, as anything that's extremely difficult but rewarding, takes effort.

The reason it fails so often is because it requires the same effort from both parties. The motivation for this effort can be easily lost once the wife and husband begin to have a hard time understanding the emotional, physical, and sometimes financial needs of each other.

"Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about." Even those closest to us.

Freedom is a state of mind. Sometimes the man can also feel in a sort of prison as well, trapped into providing for a wife who ends up resenting him. Marriage is one of those tricky things that can give you an immense sense of satisfaction or pain depending on how you play and interpret your hand.

Sadly, there are some couples who maltreat their partners just because they are married. Not just because she is a woman, she must stay in the house and do all the household chores and not just because he is the man that provides for his family, he can do all he want to his wife. Married couples must understand that they are one now and that they are partners in all that they do. They must love, communicate, and trust each other to have a healthy and happy married life.

Everything in marriage depends on the culture your people have. In my country women where given to men as some kind of thing but still they have been respected as they deserved. It depends on the general mentality of the citizens in your country. I think the solution to every discrimination of women in the family is equality of genders, and maybe not now maybe not everywhere but some time later there won't be discrimination of any kind.

For example my landlady. she was not forced to marry the husband, it was real love so to call it but along the line something changed. I personally went there to assist her as a friend. what i saw baffled me. she just give birth to their third child and suffered some infection. on getting there I saw her lying on the floor and i asked why. she said she was tired and all that. while i was still trying to say something, the husband came out with food, gathered the two boys and they were eating. leaving the nursing mother out. i took permission to leave so she could join her family to eat but to my surprise the man said the woman cannot eat with him. its a taboo. to cut it short she busted out in tears, you know women and their emotions though. the man said a whole lot of crap that cant be repeated and am like wow, this is ridiculous. Somethings he said I have never heard before and i started doing some silent research within my street.

It is not a general aspect. I think you should read the topic with understanding. I said Nigeria and Africa which part of the world I live in. Sure will do research and that is why I will need you to help me get some details from your part of the world.  All cannot agree to same opinion. Thanks.

Exaclty it depends on the fundamental reasons , because a marriage will only be called punishment for a person who accept this kind of relationship when that person is force to do so. Or it is being arrange by the parents of both person to get marriage but they are not inlove with each other. Marriage is the best thing that can happen to a couple who loves each other and they says that marriage is a sacrament to couples.

It depends on the fundamental reasons of the marriage. Sometimes you can be forced into it or want to prove a point

In all honesty, my experience was pretty awful. My story is so basic, i despise myself - she and i married because we thought we loved each other. Then five years passed, we hated each other, and someday we just decided to break free of this said prison. Probably best decision in my last 2 years. So it might be bad that bad, but i know it might also be good for ppl. Just find the right person, that fit you (and you fit her/him).