Well, the first revolutionary war wouldn't have happened if George had simply said, "OK, you guys do your thing, and we'll do ours. Good luck, and all that." Neither would the second if Abe had said the same. It is the nature of rulers to rule. Allowing people to do their own thing, if it so pleases them, is the nature of leaders. When Abe said "No, you're part of the union, you're not going anywhere," he effectively ended the experiment in freedom which was the United States. The irony is that he did it, ostensibly, in the name of freedom.
True. It's probably just a matter of semantics but George (amongst others) "owned" the colonies whereas the Union was a union of the individual states. At least until ol' Abe got going.
Owned in the sense that they had drawn lines on a map. Did anyone ask the people who were already there?
